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Author Topic: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17  (Read 1901 times)

Offline Doug em4

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Re: Memento Mori
« Reply #45 on: December 11, 2017, 11:26:14 AM »
You and me both, and I was there.

I think the problem was this was the last game in a three day marathon and we didn't finish until two in the morning, had maybe had a little too much alcohol and things were getting a little hazy.
I remember sir Douglass head butting his way into a room through the lath and plaster wall, you know these aristocratic types have fairly solid foreheads and the being a terrifying spectacle in there and then it's all a bit loose after that.
The photographic evidence is not quite as forensic as we might have liked.

I'm sure the Mad lord has it all under control and will eventually post the remainder of this report, even if it is total fiction.


M'Lud Snapcase was particularly hazy as the evening progressed and so is at something of a disadvantage.

I believe my entry into the room was as a result of some forensic structural alterations to the fabric of the room - talk of head butting is, of course ridiculous and the kind of invention only to be expected from a Scotland yard "detective". Furthermore, there is only one "s" at the end of my name....Have a care, sir, or I shall have to insist on satisfaction....!

Sir Douglas D'Emfore (bart)
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Offline Remgain

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Re: Memento Mori
« Reply #46 on: December 11, 2017, 05:18:26 PM »

M'Lud Snapcase was particularly hazy as the evening progressed and so is at something of a disadvantage.

I believe my entry into the room was as a result of some forensic structural alterations to the fabric of the room - talk of head butting is, of course ridiculous and the kind of invention only to be expected from a Scotland yard "detective". Furthermore, there is only one "s" at the end of my name....Have a care, sir, or I shall have to insist on satisfaction....!

Sir Douglas D'Emfore (bart)

 lol lol lol


We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

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Offline Metternich

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Re: Memento Mori
« Reply #47 on: December 17, 2017, 06:03:00 PM »
And would Dr. "Harry" Flashman perchance be the son of the very famous General Sir Harry Flashman ?

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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Re: Memento Mori
« Reply #48 on: January 05, 2018, 10:51:21 AM »
Quote
I think the problem was this was the last game in a three-day marathon and we didn't finish until two in the morning, had maybe had a little too much alcohol and things were getting a little hazy.

Quote
M'Lud Snapcase was particularly hazy as the evening progressed and so is at something of a disadvantage.

Firstly, I must apologise, dear reader for the absence of the startling end to this tale of woe and destruction. Prepare to be shocked as I reveal the recent dastardly happenings at Snapcase Hall. It was the week before Christmas and I awoke early one morning surrounded by cloaked figures. I was dragged out of my four-poster and into a secret entrance to a secret tunnel which I never knew existed in Snapcase Hall. Eventually we emerged into some sort of secret chapel. Cloaked figures were continually moving in a circle around me, chanting and lighting secret candles. Eventually the leader revealed himself to me as none other than Bertie Saxe-Coburg, the Prince of Wales to you but Bertie to those of us who move in his circle.

Breaking Rule 7 of the Arch-Villain Code (Rule 7: When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him.) Bertie proceeded to expound on the reasons for my abduction. “Wilberforce, old bean,” he began “I know you are committing to parchment the tale of the recent doings on Burgh Island, but I must insist that you do not expose the full truth of the actions of Special Agent Vagabond and Sir Douglas D’Emfore on that fateful night. As mutual admirers of these plucky heroes we must protect their reputation at all costs. The British public must never know of any moments when their respective upper lips were slightly less stiff than normal or any occasions when their bat was not as straight to the wicket as it should have been. In short, old stick, any of that sort of lick-spittle nonsense and I will have Lord Downey (head of the Royal Protection Cabal) secretly ‘disappear’ you.”

At that moment, one of Bertie’s acolytes appeared brandishing a white-hot branding iron styled with the three feathers of the Prince of Wales’ crest. As this was applied to my right buttock I concentrated on not letting my bottom lip tremble at the awful pain, Bertie spoke. “Just a small reminder, old son as to where your loyalties lie!”

As a smell of roast pork drifted across the secret chapel the secret candles suddenly flickered out and Bertie disappeared in a secret smoky haze. I must have passed out and when I came to, I was back in the old four-poster with Miss Spankhurst (my rather stern housekeeper) mopping my brow with a cloth dipped in vintage madeira. I would have  pointed out that she should have been mopping my right buttock but she is a very strict disciplinarian and it's best not to get on the wrong side of her, as I have learned to my cost, in the past. Old Scrotum (the wrinkled family retainer) was pacing up and down in the background, mumbling and wringing his wrinkled hands in dismay.

And thus, for those of you with the patience to read through this harrowing narrative is the explanation as to why my revelation of the concluding events of that night is somewhat hazy, blurred even. As I begin to unravel the denouement for you, I can feel the brand on my arse still smarting, reminding me of my conversation with Bertie. Ich dien!

Scotland Yard and the Secret Service begin to realise that the Pilchard Inn is the centre of this mysterious puzzle and begin to close in.


The forces of good are seen here entering the ground floor of the Pilchard Inn and interrogating the employees and customers.


It was at this point that Sir Douglas found Vagabond’s Calvados and as you can see, this is where the haziness began!


Big Willy interrogates the chef, Gordon Ramsey but gets short shrift, “get out of my f@%#+*g kitchen!”


Basher is knocked to the floor by Sir William Gull, the Queen’s (God bless ‘er) physician.


Reinforcements arrive to dispose of Sir William.


Still irked by the sarcasm of the Pilchard Inn’s chef, Big Willy rushes on up the stairs only to be confronted by Countess Elizabeth Báthory de Ecsed and a vicious struggle ensues.


Meanwhile Flashy (yes, Metternich you are correct) meets the biggest werewolf he has ever seen. Replacement trousers may be required here.


Chaos (and much haziness) now commences as the boys from the Yard and the Secret Service encounter monsters aplenty as they fight their way up the Pilchard Inn, floor by floor.


Seaman Staines gets the shock of his life when opening a door to an upstairs room. This boy could take some knocking down!


Now, on the very top floor of the inn, Sir Douglas can be seen here heroically entering a room to confront Dr. Victor Frankenstein. Vagabond is toe-to-toe with another giant werewolf and Sir Sidney opens a door to another room only to find a Byakhee guarding the lovely Vanessa Ives who is tied up at the end of the room.


Sir Sidney defeated the Byakhee and untied Vanessa. Big Willy and Private Pharts rushed to his aid (ostensibly to assist Sir Sidney but in reality, hoping to catch a glimpse of the lovely Miss Ives en déshabillé).


Unfortunately for the Secret Service voyeurs, Dr. Alexander Sweet, the fiend behind all this nefarious activity now makes his appearance. In reality, Dr. Sweet is of course Count Dracula, the Prince of Darkness. He has been attempting to turn Vanessa into a vampire to serve the forces of evil for eternity.



And so, the end is nigh, we face the final curtain, will Sir Douglas and Vagabond triumph against the Prince of Darkness or will evil reign over the environs of Burgh Island? Pharts is disposed of by the Count and Sir Sidney and Big Willy are reeling from the terror that is Dracula. Vagabond, Sir Douglas and Snapcase cannot enter the room as there are three of their minions fighting for their lives between them and the arch-fiend. Sir Douglas, thinking at lightning-speed begins to smash his way through the flimsy wall of the room. Seeing his intention, Vagabond and Snapcase join in the assault on the dividing wall. There were suggestions later that Sir Douglas had headbutted his way through the wall but this was refuted by Sir Douglas as not being the act of a gentleman! Bearing in mind the still-painful brand on my arse, your humble narrator feels duty-bound to agree with Sir Douglas. There are five men fighting the Count and shots, fists and boots are flying everywhere. As the Count reels back from the massed assault, Sir Douglas and Agent Vagabond are able to drive a stake right into the heart of the Evil One! With a curse, Dracula subsides to the floor and begins to turn to dust! Our heroes collapse exhausted after the fight of their lives.


The game concludes after lasting through Sunday afternoon, evening and on into the early hours of Monday morning concluding around 02.00am. Much beer, wine, Calvados and whiskey has been consumed and the combatants are well-oiled and tired. Leaving the chaos of clearing up to later that day, our heroes retire to a well-earned rest. Thanks to you both for a marvellous game. Memento mori.




THE END




« Last Edit: January 05, 2018, 11:30:56 AM by Mad Lord Snapcase »


"A man can never have too much red wine, too many books or too much ammunition."

Offline Doug em4

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #49 on: January 05, 2018, 04:21:28 PM »
Top hole, Snapcase old fruit. I'm just as exhausted reading the account as I was whilst playing the game. However, I'm a lot more sober at the moment. And speaking as "The Most Important Man on the Board", may I say how proud we of the Secret Service are to have secured the release of the delectable Miss Ives and to have made Burgh Island once again a place were decent peope may live in peace (which means you'd better keep away from it). The small assistance rendered by the somewhat disreputable agents of Scotland Yard, whilst hardly being necessary, was nevertheless appreciated.

Regarding the scurrilous photo of myself inadvertently touching a bottle of spiritous liquid, my solicitors, Messrs Pain, Blame and Claim Ltd, will be in touch in due course.

And don't pretend you didn't enjoy being buttock-branded - you know you would have paid good money to have that done.

Good work, sir - reviving memories (albeit hazy ones) of an outstanding weekend.

Doug
aka Sir Douglas D'Emfore


Offline dinohunterpoa

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #50 on: January 06, 2018, 01:20:24 PM »
PRICELESS!!!  :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*


And I'm pretty sure it's not "The End", but just the beginning of a long series of adventures!  ;)

EDIT> I'm also pretty sure someone has secretly collected the ashes of the deceased Count for his (her?) own nefarious plans...  :D
« Last Edit: January 06, 2018, 01:24:02 PM by dinohunterpoa »
"Because life is made of inspiration, dreaming and insanity in about equal measure."
- Erzsébet Báthory - 1560-1614 (?)

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #51 on: January 06, 2018, 04:31:50 PM »
Thanks, dinohunterpoa.

Quote
I'm also pretty sure someone has secretly collected the ashes of the deceased Count for his (her?) own nefarious plans...

I'm pretty sure I saw Sir Douglas scooping something up into a small urn but I remain somewhat hazy on the subject!   ;)

Offline dinohunterpoa

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #52 on: January 06, 2018, 05:16:10 PM »
Quote from: Mad Lord Snapcase link=topic=105274.msg1326566#msg1326566


I'm pretty sure I saw Sir Douglas scooping something up into a small urn but I remain somewhat hazy on the subject!   ;)


I have a bad feeling about this...  :o


Offline Doug em4

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #53 on: January 06, 2018, 05:20:14 PM »

I have a bad feeling about this...  :o
So have I - I know I made a cup of soup from some powder that was lying round and it did taste - distinctive and I’ve had some odd dreams ever since.....

Doug

Offline dinohunterpoa

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #54 on: January 06, 2018, 05:22:24 PM »
So have I - I know I made a cup of soup from some powder that was lying round and it did taste - distinctive and I’ve had some odd dreams ever since.....

Doug

 :o   lol   :o   lol   :o   lol   :o   lol   :o   lol

Offline Vagabond

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #55 on: January 06, 2018, 08:35:00 PM »
A spiffing finish to the game report Mi Lord. That Dracula was a right 'ard b'stard and no mistake.

We had to keep pushing those Secret Service types into the room first to wear him down, but the strategy worked in the end and we were able to put the cuffs on him. Shame he turned to dust in our hands though, but that's law enforcement for you.

Seriously - at the start when the boat moored up and Sir Douglas shouted follow me men and set of at a near gallop on those long legs of his, all the rest of us could do was trot along behind.

He deserves full credit but as he is Secret Service and must remain secret that credit will have to fall to the officers of Scotland Yard.
I've let the Times know the full story.

Once again full praise to Lord Snapcase for his hospitality and some memorable gaming, even if it's a bit hazy and to Sir Douglas for being the most important man on the table. lol lol

I shall go and crack open the 52 port, and decant it.

Offline dinohunterpoa

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #56 on: January 14, 2018, 02:46:23 AM »

I shall go and crack open the 52 port, and decant it.




 ;)

Offline Doug em4

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #57 on: January 14, 2018, 06:13:26 PM »


 ;)

I can't imagine why Snapcase didn't insist you join us at DevLAM.....! You'd have been right at home.

Doug

Offline dinohunterpoa

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #58 on: January 15, 2018, 01:12:06 PM »
I can't imagine why Snapcase didn't insist you join us at DevLAM.....! You'd have been right at home.

Doug

Oh, thank you, Sir!  ;)

Anytime you have winged creatures and werewolves to kill and damsels to rescue... I will be right there back at the inn drinking a single malt in front of the fireplace with that lovely pale young lady with the odd smile and very ruby lips...  :D

« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 08:05:08 PM by dinohunterpoa »

Offline Vagabond

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Re: Pulp Alley: Memento Mori, DevLAM '17
« Reply #59 on: January 15, 2018, 08:19:23 PM »
Oh, thank you, Sir!  ;)

Anytime you have winged creatures and werewolves to kill and damsels to rescue... I will be right there back at the inn drinking a single malt in front of the fireplace with that lovely pale young lady with the odd smile and very ruby lips...  :D



 lol lol lol lol - we could both drink malt whiskey with her, that lovely pale young lady with the odd smile and very ruby lips...  It does sound a very appealing prospect. 8)
« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 11:23:48 PM by Vagabond »

 

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