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sometimes I play wargames with my daughter (she is 9)some of the things I do (hope you can take some ideas): Use home made rules, with simple mechanisms using few dice roles and almost no modifiers use a grid table or just simple measuring sticks I write the rules with her (nothing fancy, just a couple of tables for reference) each unit has only a couple of options for it's activation - run, move&shoot and shoot - each option has different effects on game terms Use scenery, but keep it simple don't use too many units at the same time - moving my units to create no more than 2 threats to her force ask her feedback for new rules addition, new unit types to add or actions to perform and try to add them to the game in the simplest way possible define scenario objectives and try to keep each game short It's not a problem to create unbalanced scenarios (but always game them from both sides in a single session - first I play the bad guys then she plays the bad guys)give some information about the background or history of the game settinguse painted minismake scenario and paint minis with her
That previous post reminds me about the fighting fantasy RPGs, dungeoneer. That could be a good game if you get the old book and use any miniatures you want with it. I might just bring it out for with my son these holidays.