Ructions in Bell-End...

[Mason]

Brilliant!
 

Do crack on, old bean.
 

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

We used to go in a boozer called 'The Ship Inn' in Wool. One of the locals told us that back in the day it was the haunt of smugglers from Lulworth Cove.

I know The Ship Inn well. Here's a quote from Smuggling in the British Isles by Richard Platt.

The route that contraband followed inland from Lulworth went directly through the village of Wool, where in the 1820s the landlord of the Ship Inn, Tom Lucas, supervised onward shipment and storage. He was a formidable man, and his associates were notorious for their violence.

[Harry Faversham]

As Abbot Fiddler fled from black apparition in the churchyard he caught sight of something that tested his belief in ‘we’re all god’s creatures’ a tad more…

 

[Harry Faversham]

An RAF Harrier streaks in fast and low over Bell-End… the game’s afoot!!!

Within the hour the Brigadier, Flash, Sergeant Benton and the U.N.I.T. lads arrive in the village, their armoured support trundles down the main street…

 

[syrinx0]

Ah. Unit is here to save the day at last!

[Harry Faversham]

Ah. Unit is here to save the day at last!

And Flash, the Brigadier's faithful hound, as game a fighter as you can find...

http://leadadventureforum.com/index.php?topic=115154.msg1442809;topicseen#msg1442809

 

[Harry Faversham]

Patience dear viewers, in tomorrow's thrilling episode all will be revealed...

One thing that has come to light, the Doctor and Sarah Jane are lost in the time space continuum...
Earth must stand alone!!!

[Harry Faversham]

“Spread out chaps, old Flash will soon smell out any trouble.”

The Brigadier’s faithful hound’s snotbox is fated to be working overtime this day!

U.N.I.T. had been called in to investigate the disappearance of the Prime Ministerial chariot who’s inbuilt tracker had stopped operating an hour ago…

Previously on Bell-Enders… one hour ago, in the spaceship of the Great Emperor Zooney of the Lazoons…

“Whadya mean you’ve lost it. “I’ve come across seven Galaxies to capture this Earthling and you’ve lost it?”!!!???”

The Emperor hissed menacingly to a flustered underthing…

“The tractor beam’s gone wonkey again Sire, we cannot harvest the Earthling’s Leader”

The Emperor immediately takes command of a landing party, turns poor old Bert into a frog, then orders his men to spread out and find the Leader of the Earthlings, they do so in fine style…

A fine style well matched by the Brigadier’s lads, as the Raff make another low level recce pass. The racket wakes Constable ‘Turnip’ Turner from his slumbers, rubbing the sleep from his eyes he gingerly has a gander from his Police Box…

And instantly leaps back as a speeding Saracen zooms by nearly taking the shine of his size nines. A brilliant purple flash and a blaster bolt rickoshays from the AFV’s armour, who’s gunner replies with a devastating burst of heavy machine gun fire…

The Battle of Bell-End is on!!!

A searching Zooney discovers a nasty surprise as he combs the Churchyard, Abbot Fiddler prays desperately, as blaster bolts bounce of the golden pepperpot’s armour. The Zoonies are doing a blinding job of searching the village…

Finding everything, but wot they seek. An unfortunate Zooney opens the door of No.3 and a rocket zooms past his right shoulder into the distance as Psycho Santa enters the fray. Not for long, a support Zooney makes the fight’s first kill…

Fighting becomes hectic in the fields and on the landing grounds. A telling burst from the Saracen’s gunner decimates the Zooney landing party…

The Great Emperor Zooney the Lazoon is cut down by a double tap in the canister from U.N.I.T.’s Veteran Sergeant Benton. His Empress is savaged to death by Flash the dog, and Constable ‘Turnip’ is killed in the execution of his duty while attempting to apprehend a little green felon…

The general mayhem causes something horrible to stir in the ruined Abbey’s Rhododendron bushes!!!

Two gallant Zoonies enter the ruins pursued by U.N.I.T.’s Veteran Sergeant Benton. Purple flashes, unearthly screams of pain and terror, echo around Bell-End. The valiant Flash scuttles off and cowers, tail between legs, behind the Brigadier. The black Dalek transmats back to the orbiting Dalek ship and sets an immediate course for Skaro.

The ugliest, vilest, most evil creature in the Universe, emerges from the ruins of the Abbey…

The Battle of Bell-End is over…

 

[6milPhil]

[Harry Faversham]

As is the way in this old and quaint little corner of our Septic Isle, things quickly return to what passes for normal in Bell-End. There is little evidence to be seen today of the momentous drama played out there. Constable Turner was awarded a posthumous George Cross, it can be seen in a mahogany display case in Abbot Fiddler’s church. When the terrible Lazoon creature met it’s end, Bert was released from his curse, and turned from a toad back into a Bert.
Constable ‘Ginger’ Hale, ‘Turnip’ Turner’s replacement, came across Bert after he’d had a convivial afternoon in the Knob. Bert received a stern lecture from the new Plod for letting ‘Temeraire’ have a piddle on the village pillar box…
These days, it’s all that passes for a ruction in Bell-End.

 

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

Marvellous stuff, Harry! Good to see Bell-End back to normal.   

[Digits]

Absolute lunacy!    Love it!

[Shahbahraz]

Oh dear.......

Doug

Went to school with a family that included M. Daft - but it only works in a Scottish accent.