Here’s the third in this series of occasional game / battle reports from the era of the Feudal Anarchy, again using the ‘Fistful of Lead’ skirmish rules by Wiley Games…
This game was a three-hander, played by myself (Sir Guy de Mordant – again), Silent Invader (Sir Richard Fidler), and Malamute (Cardinal Grigorio Armani and entourage).
We’d just finished playing a large ECW game and had a couple of hours left, so decided to reset the table by leaving the river where it was, but slinging a load more buildings down and moving the hedges, bridges etc, around.
Here’s the table… Now be honest, you’d like to live there, wouldn’t you?
In the foreground is my village of Nether Thatch.
Over to the right, beyond the River Trickle, is Malamute’s village of Cumwhinton on the Trickle.
And at the far end of the table lies Silent Invader’s village of Fingringhoe Bushey.
The view from Cumwhinton…
The three conjoined villages are under the lordship of our old friend, the unlovely Baron Roderic Cote de Boeuf, who, along with his famed pet monkey, Sir Gilles le Singe, is out for a morning constitutional on the day in question…
Ye Olde ScenarioCardinal Grigorio Armani, beautifully turned out of course, accompanied by Papal legate Guiseppe, plus his personal escort of three very parfait gentil knyghts, emerges from a round of prayer and contemplation in the big new stone church at Cumwhinton.
His appointed guardians in this lawless realm are Sir Roger de Courcey (Gules with Bear Sable), Sir Bernard de Winters (Vert etc) and Sir Richard d’Emery (Gules et Or fiddly bits).
(Sir Ronald de Barker could not make this game - evidently appearing in end-of-the-pier cabaret in Blackpool at the time).
Cardinal Grigorio now has to decide which of the three bridges over the Trickle he will cross, in order to progress through the area and safely exit the table somewhere south of Fingringhoe Bushey - on his way to Canterbury. Or York... Or Slough... Or somewhere else highly ecclesiastical…
Meanwhile, Sir Guy de Mordant will enter the table top right in this next picture - in the vicinity of Nether Thatch. He is set upon ridding the King of this turbulent priest. He’s not sure why, but murder is on his mind.
And from the bottom right corner, straight up the muddy main street of Fingringhoe Bushey, will come Sir Richard Fidler.
He doesn’t want to murder Cardinal Armani - he just wants to seize and ransom him. Like any reasonable robber knight with his own small castle, wife, mistress, and catamite to maintain.
Sir Guy, leaving his posse of minions way behind him, heads straight for the big timber bridge, no messing…
But bidding a holy farewell to the priest of Cumwhinton, Cardinal Grigorio eschews the big bridge over the Trickle, and instead rides on south…
Will he take the old stone bridge or the – extremely rickety – footbridge instead?
Well Sir Richard Fidler is already urging his charger forward over the old stone bridge, so that’s looking out as an option…
His gasping retinue of rough-hewn soldiery struggling (and failing) to keep up…
The Cardinal and his party duly turn towards the footbridge - sending Sir Roger de Courcey off to deal with the impertinent Fidler…
Sir Guy de Mordant meanwhile, wheels around and races back from the big bridge, across a pasture towards the footbridge – almost giving his men the chance to catch up with him…
On a turn of cards for the next move, de Courcey wins the initiative and charges straight into Sir Richard Fidler – smash! They are fairly evenly matched on paper, but cue a flurry of twos and threes rolled by Sir Richard, versus naught but elevens and twelves by Sir Roger. It’s brutal.
Sir Guy de Mordant takes the field (literally)
Sir Richard Fidler’s men trudge after him – just in time to catch a distant glimpse of their liege lord being summarily dispatched in a couple of easy rounds by Sir Roger de Courcey. Instant kill - no messing. Just terrible luck on the dice, that’s really all you can say.
Sending Guiseppe off to see if Sir Roger needs either assistance, absolution or spiritual comfort, Cardinal Grigorio now pauses by the footbridge on the Cumwhinton side, sending his two remaining knights forward across the Trickle to deal with Fidler’s men, and the newly appeared Sir Guy de Mordant…
In another massively mistmatched bout of dice rolling, Sir Bernard de Winters swiftly unhorses and wounds Sir Guy, whose horse promptly bolts.
Luckily Sir Guy’s men are about to arrive in the ploughed field.
Even more luckily, it’s the end of that turn, and so disaster (both robber knights mercilessly slain within three turns) is temporarily averted…
Since Silent Invader’s unlucky robber knight is dead, and the poor fellow risks having a miserable game of it, he is assigned control of the roving Baron Roderic Cote de Boeuf et Sir Gilles…
With a look of vengeful determination, Baron and the bonobo head over the old bridge…
While the Cardinal’s gallant knights have been busy in the field, a couple of the late Sir Richard Fidler’s men, Moist Pete and Salty Roger (I kid you not) have slipped around behind them onto the footbridge…
Will they succeed in threatening the Cardinal, where their late master failed so spectacularly?
Luckily for Sir Guy de Mordant, initiative falls his way in the next turn.
Declaring a wild ace to be a timely queen of hearts, he miraculously recovers from his wound, hops up, and chases off down the lane after his wayward steed…
Meanwhile, his loyal bowman, Francon the archer, together with the late Sir Richard Fidler’s bowman, Myopic Malcolm, pepper the Cardinal’s two knights with arrows…
This proves to have a deleterious effect on Sir Bernard de Winters, who is driven back in retreat towards the old bridge.
Sir Roger de Courcey however, fresh from his triumphant dispatch of Sir Richard Fidler, is riding back to the Cardinal’s rescue, even as the late Sir Richard’s right hand man, Master Bateman, charges forward to engage Sir Richard D’Emery…
Just about holding his own, Master Bateman is quickly joined by Sir Guy’s tough No.2, Cenhelm The Axe… They fight again… Just as Sir Roger de Courcey thunders back across the (now very dangerous looking) footbridge to ride down Moist Pete and Salty Roger…
More bow shooting from Myopic Malcolm (not so myopic after all, hey?) and Sir Bernard de Winters is wounded and falls off his horse, which bolts towards the old bridge…
Meanwhile, Guillame the Spear has joined in the unequal fight with Sir Richard D’Emery – now it’s three onto one…
Then Armel the spearman arrives and it’s four onto one.
Finally, Sir Richard D’Emery is dragged off his horse, wounded, and pretty much killed as the rude mechanicals all stand around stabbing his recumbent form…
That’s two wounds, six shock points, and oops, one more blow, the coup de grace, and Sir Dick is no more…
Sir Roger however, has slain Moist Pete, Master Bateman, and driven back Salty Roger - though failing to notice that behind his back, Cardinal Grigorio has been suddenly beset by an angry baron and his ape.
Sir Bernard de Winters meanwhile, has recovered somewhat, given up chasing his horse, and heads back towards the fray…
But oops! The Cardinal is attacked. And even though it turns out he is wearing armour hidden beneath his cassock, he’s unceremoniously hauled from his ass and thrown on his ass instead!
Back races Sir Roger de Courcey to save his master, like a Nazgul racing back to Mordor (quite how he managed to wheel his heavyweight warhorse on that narrow and ever more dangerously subsiding footbridge, we will never know).
At the same time, Sir Bernard de Winters manages to slay Cenhelm the Axe.
Guillame and Armel, however, manage to down Sir Bernard de Winters, and with Salty Roger about to join in, the prone knight’s days are looking numbered.
Notwithstanding which, the ever victorious Sir Roger de Courcey deals a mighty blow to Baron Roderic – intercepted by his selfless pet, Sir Gilles, who takes the wound instead and perishes instanter.
Off-camera though, Sir Guy de Mordant has recovered his poise, his bravado, his underpants and his steed. He is remounted and heading back to the fight!
And that, alas, dear readers, is declared to be the end - there being no way that the Cardinal (wounded), his frankly useless Papal legate, Guiseppe, plus his one surviving (albeit heroically successful) knight, Sir Roger de Courcey, are
ever going to make it all the way across the table against a combined enemy force of two bowmen, three men at arms, and a fully intact and rejuvenated Sir Guy de Mordant. Not to mention pursued by the bloody Baron Roderic, determined to avenge his murdered monkey!
Malamute may tell it differently of course... But never forget, history is told by the chroniclers, who, like the late lamented Cenhelm, usually have an axe to grind…
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April 19, 2024, 11:28:23 AM
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