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Author Topic: The Throppet Hentilagets Caper - Hooray - it’s finished...! 28.07  (Read 3385 times)

Online syrinx0

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The clowns only get scary if they are in full makeup... in which case perhaps you don't want them on the other side of the table...

Nice work on your cultists.  :)
2020: A:28 P:156; 2019:-471 2018: -47; 2017: -100; 2016:+1;


Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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There’s a couple of potential players in this adventure, should it morph from solo to several, who fit that description perfectly.

Cheeky!



Offline Doug ex-em4

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Ok Snapcase; you’re scaring me now. Nice clowns - better than mine, you rascal.... ;)

Perhaps a few Morris Men all in black would be scarier than cultists.

You know, that’s not a bad idea - I think I’ll have to get a set of the armed Morris Men and do that. I can’t remember who made them. Can anyone jog my memory?

Doug

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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Woodbine Design from Gripping Beast.

The Woodbine Design Company
« Last Edit: July 02, 2020, 10:16:39 AM by Mad Lord Snapcase »

Offline Doug ex-em4

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Thanks, Martin - I should have just sent you a WhatsApp directly :)

Doug

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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More recruits for Tilbury Pigeon? They'll be quite a big side performing at the mid-summer Much Rampling Churl Baiting and Produce Show! You'll need to get in some extra hankies and sticks for your Border Morris men.

Offline Doug ex-em4

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More recruits for Tilbury Pigeon? They'll be quite a big side performing at the mid-summer Much Rampling Churl Baiting and Produce Show! You'll need to get in some extra hankies and sticks for your Border Morris men.

I don’t think they’re quite what Tilbury is looking for. These would be The Armed Wing of Morris and quite distinct from Tilbury's chaps, although some of Tilbury's rank and file may be secret members; there’s a strong suspicion that Ephraim Hardstanding knows more than he’s letting on.

Doug

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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I don’t think they’re quite what Tilbury is looking for. These would be The Armed Wing of Morris and quite distinct from Tilbury's chaps, although some of Tilbury's rank and file may be secret members; there’s a strong suspicion that Ephraim Hardstanding knows more than he’s letting on.

The doings in Much Rampling are getting very murky. An Armed Wing of Morris now!   :o

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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I wondered if it might be of assistance to your readers if parts of our recent correspondence were to be published here? The paucity of information on Throppets is very worrying (did you see what I did there?). Our mentions in various missives between Vagabond, myself and your good-self, of informative works on the Throppet may direct readers to a better source of understanding, should they wish it.

An Abridged Version of Recent Exchanges on the Subject of the Throppet:

SNAPCASE

As a distinguished member of the Ancient Order of the Quaking Snark, I have access to that rare volume, ‘Doctrina et Ritus Autem Throppetus-Exercitus’, which gives many insights into the lore of Throppet Worrying and how to proceed against these dangerous creatures!

DOUG ex-em4

I am very jealous that you have a copy of the ‘Doctrina’. Although many of its assumptions have been exploded by modern research, it is still the first work to consult for anyone conducting serious Throppet research. For a more conversational approach in the modern style, may I recommend the engaging (if occasionally flippant) ‘Throppets - Gotta Lurve 'Em’ by Katie Price and the somewhat turgid late nineteenth century volume ‘With Gun and Mule, an Examination of the Throppet Legend’ by St John Probity Foulenough (foreword by Miss Gertrude Hiss). Many other works, of varying utility, are available....

SNAPCASE

Well, of course the Doctrina does hold to the old theory that Throppets are best worried by poking their giglets with a very sharp stick. As science has now revealed in Dr. Rupert Startling-Grope’s seminal and ground-breaking work ‘Give It To Them In The Clackers’, they are best worried by using a cattle-prod on their clackers, as the title indicates.
I can recommend ‘Travels in the Back Passage’ by G. Cecil Chinstrap. Chinstrap is somewhat shaky on the geography of Throppetania but is very solid on the facts when discussing their politics and religion. Katie Price’s volume, I have to say remains a closed book to me!
Of course, in the vein of Throppet fiction, Captain W. E. Johns cannot be bettered.
 


VAGABOND

I've searched my library of Biggles books because I was sure I had a copy of ‘Biggles Worries a Throppet’ from my childhood, but I can't find it. Maybe the Dewey System has let me down, or Rotherham Library sent a Snatch Squad to reclaim their lost volumes.
Amazon have a leather-bound copy for £532.32 plus postage which I've placed on order.
I cannot find a copy of any of the books you refer to on Throppet Law for sale anywhere, although I thought I was close with the Gun and Mule volume that was referred to, but it turned out to be ‘Travels with a Donkey’ by R. L. Stevenson, a complete red herring. It seems I shall be at a very severe disadvantage with my lack of Throppet Law and Behavioural  Practices in the coming tussle, something I shall have to overcome with my trusty old blunderbuss Bess, that is if Throppets don't eat blunderbusses for breakfast,  or maybe high tea.

SNAPCASE

I understand from my sources that there is a secret snatch-squad of Throppet sympathisers travelling around the country stealing all Throppet-related material in a bid to redact all knowledge and lore of these mysterious creatures. All maps of Throppetania (such as they were) have disappeared from the British Library recently. It does feel like some portentous event is about to take place and our ability to fight back is seriously threatened!
Sales of cattle-prods have trebled in the last month, so obviously even the general public understand the gravity of the situation. We in the Ancient Order of the Quaking Snark are at DEFCON2.
On the news this morning, I hear that Dr. Rupert Startling-Grope (author of ‘Give It To Them In The Clackers’ and Throppet expert) has mysteriously disappeared from his office in Railway Cuttings, East Cheam.
Something is definitely afoot!
Pip, pip,
Snapcase
(Grand Poobah of the Ancient Order of the Quaking Snark and High Muffler of the Flange and Trunion Club)

DOUG ex-em4

John - forgive me if I draw your attention to a minor error in your previous notes. What we are currently discussing is Throppet Lore. Throppet Law is an altogether different matter and frankly, should you ever find yourself subject to it, you are already doomed...
You are not the first to be caught out by the Stevenson book and you certainly will not be the last.
Snapcase, you raise some pertinent, nay, disturbing issues. It is time for caution to translate into action...!
My contacts have told me that The Cult of the Worried Throppet are inflamed by the fresh interest in the disastrous work of that infamous charlatan Rasputin Wilson (he who claimed to have raised a number of Throppets in captivity). The recent publication of a book which once again denounced this fraud (‘The Seven Throppets of Wilson’ by Lawrence of Belgravia) has reignited interest in all things Throppet, to the dismay and fury of The Cult.....There is a whirlwind approaching which threatens to engulf us all. The safety of mankind currently rests in the liver-spotted hands of Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode.
« Last Edit: July 03, 2020, 07:48:59 AM by Mad Lord Snapcase »

Offline Blackwolf

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As a Morris man*,I’m appalled by this thread,I shall be writing to Country Life and The Field to evidence my dismay .

Brilliant stuff chaps :)

*I have photos to prove it.
May the Wolf  Walk With You
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Painting Clubs Joined: APC,MPC, PPC,PAPC,LPC.

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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*I have photos to prove it.

Now you will have to post one here!   ;)

Offline Doug ex-em4

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Many thanks to Lord Snapcase for setting out the background to this topic - he has performed a valuable service and enlightened the interested general public.

As a Morris man*,I’m appalled by this thread,I shall be writing to Country Life and The Field to evidence my dismay .

Brilliant stuff chaps :)

*I have photos to prove it.

I, indeed we, indeed The Nation demand that this photographic evidence is presented here.

Doug

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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...and while we await this photographic feast, I have discovered (or rather Old Scrotum, the wrinkled family retainer found for me) in a rather dusty part of the Library at Snapcase Hall, some of the valuable and rare tomes referred to earlier.





...and even a copy of the rather garish



I will be taking a good long read of this accumulated wisdom whilst getting outside of a bucket of vintage port. Pip, pip.

Offline Doug ex-em4

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Good heavens, Snapcase; you’ve excelled yourself this time. What splendid work. I don’t think they have these tomes even in the secret library at The Drones. Remarkable.....

Anyway, back to events, dear boy, events....

Sir Rufus has assembled his band of cult hunters (be careful how you say that). In the photo below, we see them leaving The Manor at Much Rampling (the ancestral home of the Pitt-Bulstrodes) on their way to deal with the cultist outrage. In the foreground, Sir Rufus is flanked by his Afghan Hounds Esmerelda Golightly VII and Sinbad Restitution II. Afghans Hounds have three qualities: they are affectionate, they are beautiful and they can run like the wind. When it comes to intelligence and obedience, they are less blessed. Although they have "command" names (Sin and Smel) once they start running they are oblivious to command. However, they are amongst the very few animals that have a hope of catching a running Throppet, albeit over very short distances.

Behind Sir Rufus is his butler Wrench, conveniently armed with a Lewis gun and next to him, Sir Rufus' wife, Lady Ferocity Pitt-Bulstrode. Behind her is Sir Rufus' nephew’s man, Stirrup. He favours a Thompson sub-machine gun. Finally, PC Roland Smallbottom appropriately brings up the rear. On the balcony of The Manor, Persistence Pitt-Bulstrode (one of Sir Rufus' daughters - he can never remember how many he has got) waves a fond farewell as, yet again, her parents depart, armed and highly dangerous.


Doug
« Last Edit: July 04, 2020, 10:23:58 AM by Doug ex-em4 »

Offline Alcide Nikopol

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Cracking stuff.
A.Nik-

 

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