The Virus - The Final Unmasking of the Red Fezzes

[Vagabond]

Thanks for all the positive comments guys, they're much appreciated and I've finally got off my hands and written some more about this sorry tale of daring don't.

Probably another quick recap is in order :-

D.R.O.S.S. the chaps and chapesses in green berets are just about to blow their breeching charge around the door but have been attacked by a swarm of bees from the bee hive that has fallen over from a small anti personnel mine that had exploded in their vicinity.

C.R.A.P. were almost in position on the other side of the house and would soon be starting to prepare their charge. There was not much sign of activity in the house.

BOOM went the explosives and the area around the door became a big hole, dust and debris everywhere.

Smoke and Flash Bang through the upper window screamed ‘B’ then get in there.


Jethroe made it back to the doorway just as the first flash bang missed the window opening and fell to the ground close to him, try again ‘B’ screamed, tell Jethroe to lob flash bangs through the opening before going inside.

This was Jethroes view through the hole, a man in a red fez lying dead in the hallway. He was too close to the door when it exploded.

‘B’ shouted “excellent, we put a flash bang through each door before we proceed, clearing the rooms and shouting lie down on the floor”. Things were getting really tense at HQ.

“OK – you see stairs on your left, on the far side is the other exterior door, 3 other doors (Red Lines) one on your left 2 on your right, which door do you go for”. “There is just Jethroe with Bryce following him”.


This picture flashed up on my screen, “what the hell! We’ve been hacked” Is this GCHQ or the FBI checking on our suspicious communications!!!!


Good grief they want a ransom, I hope they’ve not locked the laptop, I had all sorts of trouble last time this happened when I got a message from the FBI who said I had to pay a $200 fine to release my computer.

“It’s me” said ‘19’, “I’m in Lidl following all the excitement”.

F’me it’s Excavado de Vaco in person. The leader of the Tequila Banditos! Exclaimed ‘B’ and continued without a pause “Jethroe points his gun upstairs and maintains position. Bryce opens first door right and chucks in a flash bang”.

OK, as that happens 19’s men finish placing their charges, 19 are you still there, what would you like to do?...... Silence.
Excavado de Vaco had left Lidl on his coal black stallion Lightning followed by quite a large posse, it made the Wiltshire Papers the following day. Masked bandito robs Lidl, flees with a baguette and a can of something in a pink tin.

The radio waves were hot with messages from ‘B’ “Check on radio with ‘19’ I don’t want my chaps blown up by his charges”.

Followed by “URGENT D.R.O.S.S. to C.R.A.P., I need to take cover before you blow”.

I was then sent a youtube link by ‘B’ about how the SAS clear buildings.

Sometimes I think he takes this too seriously.



OK I watched the opening of the 30 min video, then shut it down. It didn’t quite work like the video.

Bruce opens the doors just a little, lobs the Flash Bang inside, the members of D.R.O.S.S. hear a shotgun blast and Bryce is blown across the hall, slithering to the ground badly wounded, a big hole has appeared in the thin plywood door and there’s a loud explosion as the Flash Bang goes off.

“Shall we wait for ‘19’ to get home?” I enquired – “Yes”, ‘B’ replied “I’ll go and make a coffee”. “Yep, me too”


When we resumed our 2 men in Whitehall were quickly up to speed and like a pair of racing whippets crossed the line running.

I’m exploding my charge in 5 seconds shouted ‘19’ 5,4,3,2,1 BANG.

I asked if he wanted to take cover first?


Ok we all take cover, Jethro backed out of the house, shooting into the room that the shotgun blast had come from but he couldn’t see if he hit anything and it was quiet in there.


This was the situation on that side of the house, there were 2 chaps in the dining room which was the communications centre with the CCTV feeds etc all going in there. The dice indicate how long they still had to go before the effects of the Flash Bangs wore off. If D.R.O.S.S. had stormed straight in they would have taken them without resistance, but because C.R.A.P. were running a little late, they had the opportunity to get back on their feet again.

We’ve played a few of these electronically communicated games during lock down and the man looking at the table can see everything that’s happening but the players in general have very little idea what’s going on. Mind you in the past when we’ve all been in the same room together we’ve no idea what’s going on but that’s probably just our age.

It can sometimes be a little frustrating and so for this game I’d tried to overcome that by giving everyone radio communication and body cameras, communicating with both ‘19’ and ‘B’ at the same time and tried to ensure that things that might be forgotten about in the heat of the action were brought to their attention. I’d mentioned the guard dog that had attacked C.R.A.P. had only taken refuge behind the blue forklift truck in the farm yard. From the pictures I thought is was pretty obvious that the bit of yellow string attached to the dog was a chain or rope and so it would still be there.

I mentioned it twice during the course of the game and then in the excitement everyone including me forgot about the dog.

The members of C.R.A.P. were just moving back to take cover when I remembered it. Andy Donovan was the nearest man and the dog attacked him.

‘19’s’ orders were crystal clear. Donovan – Strong as an ox, bright as a button, excellent shot….TAKE OUT THAT DOG….!!!!

‘B’s’ helpful response “not as brave as a racoon though?” went unheeded.


Surprising everyone including himself, Donovan stood his ground and fired at the dog, who died.

This is not the picture I sent but it shows the men of C.R.A.P. moving back to take cover and the white circle is the mine I mentioned earlier, maybe last post, or will be that the last post for the man nearest it?


Final picture for tonight, and as Andy Donovan looks for the best cover to hide behind we are all thinking "who the hell are the people in the house and what do they want." Will anyone survive the assault and if they do, do we really care.

Bon nuit.

[Doug ex-em4]

Threadomancy - and about time too. By the way, that photo of me in Lidl was Restricted Distribution. Expect a knock on your door in about 5 hours from now......

“19”

[juergen c. olk]

This is not not something I would normally game..but you made it look very enjoyable.the Terrain is stunning.

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

That's '19', a legend in his own lunchtime. He has so much faith in the CRAP agents that he is controlling them by hidden microphone whilst in Lidl buying red wine and Yum Yums! Mind you, the lady at the till was somewhat startled when he started yelling very loudly, "Breach, breach now you fools, stop buggering around with that dog!" as he was paying for his Yum Yums!

What are these Tommy Cooper fans up to, anyway?   

[Harry Faversham]

Reminds me of the time we went in the boozer after a game, way back in mi' youth. I steered the babbling away from toy sowjers as two good looking birds walked in. Only to have my mate come back from the bar and say...

"How did it feel, getting penetrated up the rear, at point-blank range!!!??"

[Panama]

Madness absolute madness & I loved it, only in you guys games could we have a sudden picture pop up from Lidl  .

 

[Vagabond]

Jueregen - I agree with you entirely.

[Vagabond]

Hopefully this will be the final post, these long winded game reports get dead boring for the writer, goodness knows what anyone reading it thinks, anyway on with the game.

This was the start of the 4th day of the game, that’s real life days.

After the fight with the doggy, ‘19’ told his men to get into cover and blow the charges, the delay caused by the aforementioned affray with the dog had given the guy’s in the house time to recover from the D.R.O.S.S. stun grenade and they decided to make a run for it.


You won’t remember but this was the situation in the house 2 moves previously, there are 2 chaps in the Control Centre, well the Dining Room and one of them is actually a chapess.

‘19’ was having toast and marmalade but he sent a tiddly wink plan of where he wanted his men positioned prior to blowing his breeching charges. Not sure what ‘B’ had for his breakfast, probably roast peasant from the estate, he does like his blood pudding with a bit of juicy peasant and piggy bacon on the side.


Anyway, before leaving the pair in the house decided to blow all the booby traps around the building in the hope that this would give them a little more time but this turned out to be a forlorn hope.



Ludenstein, the chap in the picture had one explode just behind him, he’s bowled over.

L.B.W…..? asked ‘19’.

‘I think it was a Googly’ I replied.

‘Ouch’… responded ‘19’. When he’s had his toast and marmalade he’s as sharp as a knife.


BOOM went the C.R.A.P. charge. As Ludenstein climbed slowly to his feet the other 2 members of C.R.A.P. ran to the hole they had created in the wall.


Round the other side of the house D.R.O.S.S. started their assault as soon as they heard the C.R.A.P. charge go BOOM.

I received long and detailed instructions from ‘B’ about throwing stun grenades through doors and not standing there to get shot but I ignored them. Jethroe goes through the door first and sees a chap in a fez, by now he knows that a red fez means trouble so he shoots it, hitting the man in the chest, the fez staggers back but doesn’t fall.
I then get the lecture again from ‘B’ about double tapping. “One to the chest and one to the head”.  I reply “you only hit with the chest shit” Banal response “Chest shit can be dangerous” “Messy” I reply. What is it about Mrs V’s phone, why does it dislike me so much.



“OK” 19, “you are through the opening and Andy Donovan is like a striking snake. One to the body and one to the head and she’s dead”. “Who is dead” is the plaintive response. “Bloomin Heck, didn’t you see the photo?” He’s getting old I think. “No” I look back for the photo and have to admit I didn’t send it. “Oh dear, who’s getting old”

The C.R.A.P. team storm through the hole in the wall and see a small black woman with a damn big shotgun which she points at them, just as Andy Donovan  fires, killing her. He sees an open trapdoor in the floor of the kitchen.

We then had a convoluted conversation about where D.R.O.S.S. and C.R.A.P. were in the building followed by who got shot and the size of the room. This was followed by a message saying “Hurry up; I’m having to keep my legs crossed and a weird smiley face.


This was the situation in the kitchen, ‘19’ had stormed in and shot a poor defenceless woman, well defenceless apart from the shotgun.

‘B’s’ next message to ‘19’ was a bit surreal even for ‘B’ “let me know when you shit in the Kutchen” I stuck up for ‘19’ by telling ‘B’ that “Even 19 shoots in the bathroom” The next message was even more surreal “fire smog on full auto at man in hall, ensuring that no shits can go through door opposite and hit CRAP. Not smog, smg. I’ve never taken LSD but it sounded as if ‘B’ was having a bad trip.

In reality it’s modern technology, I knew ‘19’ was due to leave home and asked “I say again, bare you going out now it’s 11.00, bare this key board us crap. Are you going out niw. Is and now.



The response was “Blimey, crowded. I’m going out now…..

On ‘19’s’ return he had bought a house, the second house he bought during this 4 day game, and you think nothing happens here.

Jethroe from D.R.O.S.S. went into the kitchen and dropped a stun grenade down through the trapdoor.

What happened.

It went off.

Silence as ‘B’ contemplated how he could call me rude names and still win my game.

Drop another one and follow up was the best response he could devise.

Long tunnel and no one visible was my inscrutable reply.

Getting pissed off with this 19 and B decide to drag some heavy furniture over the trapdoor and clear the house.


D.R.O.S.S. mount the stairs, Jethroe opens doors, throws stun grenades and generally has a good time.

There are some comments about Shitguns and why does 19 has them, when I don’t and some more toilet humour that is probably best to gloss over.


After destroying a couple of rooms Jethroe finally enters this one. Banjo the tangos is the first response from ‘B’ followed immediately by belay that ( he’s been reading Master and Commander) I need more info before I shoot. HOSTAGES shouts ‘19’ over the net. Bugger, I was hoping he would shoot them.

Hostages chained to the bed I reluctantly tell them. Or BDSM specialists ‘19’ ripostes. I’ve no idea what he’s referring to and ‘B’ thinks it might be Back Down Scary Motherfu***r, I’ve no idea what either of them are referring to.

While ‘B’ has been doing the hard lifting ‘19’ has been checking outside the farm and found the man in the fez who was wounded by the garage ages ago. “I want to question him with prejudice” (don’t know what it means but it sounds good) ‘B’ corrected him with “extreme prejudice”

‘B’ informs ‘19’ that the house is clear and when he has finished with the water boarding they need to investigate the tunnel.

Under torture and against the Geneva Conventions the last surviving member of the Red Fez gang tells them that the tunnel leads to the field and that is where they intended to make their getaway, he tells them that there were only 4 of them in the house, and the plan was to escape to the barn ½ a mile away, where they had a car stashed for the getaway. They question him further about the Red Fez and want to know if they are  a Tommy Cooper tribute cult.

He refuses to answer and unfortunately that will have to wait for the final instalment of The Virus.

Please forgive me - it's late, the Shiraz was exceptionally nice and I messed up the post 3 times, it looks like I'm going to have to explain about the red fezez in another post.
Sorry.

[Blackwolf]

Brilliant, laughed out loud!

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

I'd forgotten half of that, made me smile! "Using the smog to shit people!"  But I'm still none the wiser as to what the Tommy Cooper fans were up to?

[Doug ex-em4]

Is that what happened? That game was like The Sixties, if you can remember it, you weren’t there.

Anyway, I thought it would help the readers if they were made aware of the platinum-level visual aids we were using. As has been mentioned, I am an enthusiastic adherent of (and expert deployer of) both tiddles and, indeed, winks. Added to that a natural talent for draughtsmanship and the result is stunning:



Our total success was largely the product of such impressive improvisation.

“19”
aka Sir Douglas d'Emfore
aka Doug

[Vagabond]

Brilliant, laughed out loud!

Cheers mate I'm glad someone is enjoying it.

[Vagabond]

Is that what happened? That game was like The Sixties, if you can remember it, you weren’t there.

Don't you worry, I'm sure the nurse will be round with your cup of hot chocolate soon 

[Doug ex-em4]

Don't you worry, I'm sure the nurse will be round with your cup of hot chocolate soon 

You’ve certainly got a way with euphemisms 😎

“19”

[Vagabond]

I know there will be huge interest on LAF over the identity of the men wearing Red Fezzes and even today after MI5 and MI6 have inspected, detected, selected and rejected the information that was pulled from the isolated farm house by D.R.O.S.S. and C.R.A.P. there is considerable uncertainty over this.

The best guess is that they were part of the militant wing of the Shriners, but this was only ascertained after the CIA were consulted, as the Shriner organisation is unknown in the UK. They are a semi secret society or sect, similar to the Masons in the UK, some have even described them as a cult but this might be going too far.


This is an early photograph of Shriner Infantry marching through a small town in the mid west. Militarily they are organised on the lines of the US Marines.


They have the Rapid Response Teams who are highly mobile.


The Armoured Division, is feared everywhere, these vehicles are armour plated, 2mm front and rear, armed with a heavy water canon of 30mm bore that can take down a daffodil at 50 paces.


The Recon teams are experts in evasive tactics and collecting battlefield intel.

It is believed the Shriners were trying to set up an embryonic cell in the UK, using the current Covid outbreak as cover for their nefarious deeds. Apparently the defences they had in place were to stop an attack from the Masonic Freedom Fighters and were of course no match for the expertise of D.R.O.S.S and C.R.A.P.

Information has been passed on to Special Branch and you can expect to read in the news papers about the break up and arrest of members from the Yorkshire Branch of the Shriners known as the Eee By Gum Lodge.


The head Mufti as I believe he is called.


Ferocious attack whippets have been trained to look appealing at their enemy before running away.


There is even a embryonic Juvenile Spy Section who will have to spend the rest of their lives under close supervision in case they revert to saying “Just like that”

Well that about wraps it up, all I really wanted to show was that you can have almost as much fun playing a serious wargame over the ether as you can face to face. While we took the game deadly seriously the final expose of the Shriners is a bit tongue in cheek, but don’t be too surprised if they are the next serious threat to the current world order.
Cheers