The League of Extraordinary Kriegspielers presents.. Return to Heart of Darkness

[Ignatieff]

This was our campaign that climaxed in a four day lead fest at my gaff last August.  A change of scale this time (even bigger with 15 players) and, more importantly, a change of continent: Africa!  I asked the good professor which board this should go on, and he suggested this one, so apologies to any Darkest Africa purists out there!

The brief:

                                                            The League of Extraordinary Kriegspielers proudly presents...............
Lost Worlds! Wierd Cults! Revolution! Nuns in chains! Arab slavers! Diamond smugglers! Drug fiends! The Return of the Mahdi! Black Gold! Pirates!...and much, much more...........it can only be........

                                                                           Back to The Heart of Darkness
                                                                  
Starring (if that’s the right word)....
.
-   Texas Ted, as himself
-   Von Stauffenberg as the newly independent German Tanganyika ‘Minister for Public Safety’
-   Admiral Doleczech and his mercenary White Russian Schutztruppe as the Tanganyikan Border Patrol
-   Der Baron, as himself
-   Mad Bob as The General Manager, The Lunatic Express, Mombassa to Lake Victoria train service
-   Brigadier Linn as Orange Don, Scourge of the Zambesi
-   Colonel Schnieber, an Austrian anthropologist
-   Rory Langan as H.M. District Commisionar, Masai Mara
-   Adrian Enver Pasha, as himself
-   Msr Strogonoff, a Belgian businessman
-   Harry Flashman, rubber trader
-   Governor General Sergio Orlando Antonio Pereira de Ivens Eufemia (the clues in the initials) of Portuguese East Africa
-   V.I.Blackwood, as himself
-   Admiral Chuggerchevsky, in the ‘Round the Horn’ race
-   Leane Too as the Appointed Representative of ‘Yellow Sea Dragon Trading Company’

And remember, as always gentlemen, we will be dealing with forces we cannot possibly comprehend...............      
  
The dice have been thrown, the chicken bones deciphered.  I am starting on the briefs forthwith, and should be back to you all within the next six weeks.
To recap, the weekend details are:
Commence: Friday 6th August (arrive during the day, gaming commences that evening)
End Tuesday Agust 10th (the morning after our traditional black tie dinner)        

‘Fortune will favour the mad, bad and bold, so prepare yoursleves for our most deadly outing yet!’

11th March 2010                                                                                                                                                                                  

[Ignatieff]

Briefs and plenty of pictures to follow, though I might not get through them all before I go away tomorrow morning (if I get away!)


'Slaughter on the Jubba'.  Enver Pasha, in league with his Somalia proxies, drives the last remaining Italians across the Jubba river into the hands of the nervous British garrison...Here we see a last remnants of Mussolinis troops making a dash for the British lines


the nervous Hampshires look on at the unfolding carnage...


Mad, crazy, crazed Somali horsemen crash into a company of Alpini....

[Centaur_Seducer]

Beauty as always!
Look forward to more pictures, and of course, the massive amount of text that is 'must' with your reports

[Hammers]

Briefs and plenty of pictures to follow, though I might not get through them all before I go away tomorrow morning (if I get away!)

the action at Ras Haffun.  Enver Pasha, in league with his Somalia proxies, drives the last remaining Italians across the Jubba river in ot the hands of the nervous British garrison...Here we see a last remnants of Mussolinis troops making a dash for the British lines

Do I recall this storyline correctly if I somewhere in the plot see a brewery before me?

[Ignatieff]

Do I recall this storyline correctly if I somewhere in the plot see a brewery before me?

Whats a good adventure without a drink???

[Ignatieff]

Der Barons Brief.......

Back to the Heart of Darkness                             Der Baron brief

The young Abyssinian Prince handed you the large and strangely aromatic hand rolled cigarillo (known locally as a Coptic Carrot) and whispered in your ear....”my grandfather Emperor Menelik once said to me that he wouldn’t listen quietly when governments from distant lands say they will divide up Africa, and neither did he.  The Egyptians, the Mahdists and those funny Italians all got a good old shoeing”.  He had been educated in England and had a habit of using colloquialisms.  He started giggling.  Uncontrollably.  You were having trouble focussing as well, and you were sure the lion rug on the floor was inching towards you...”However Menelik was a warrior, a great man”.  He looked wistful “and whilst I am nobody’s fool, I am – alas – no soldier”. You handed him back the gigantic joint and tried to look serious.  “You general are a soldier however.  Your reputation as a crusader goes before you.  You will be my Lion of Juddah  and continue our Imperial expansion southwards!”. He was howling with laughter at this point, but it all seemed to make sense through the blue hazy smoke that filled the palace ante-chamber.  He was a strange one, Haili Sillasie.  A small man with a head the colour, size and shape of a coconut, he had a look of vulnerability about him, which belied a ruthless, cunning and diamond sharp mind and an iron will.  He was nobody’s fool, that much was sure.  “Then there is the matter of that bastard Kurtz” he continued. “ I invited him into my country, set him up as a leader of my troops and then the poltroon makes off with the most important items in the Imperial Treasury – the sword of Prester John and the Cup of the Carpenter.  The very cup that our Lord Jesus used at the last supper!”.  He had suddenly sobered up from his giggling fit and was boring his small dark eyes deep into your very soul.  You felt queasy.

“I want you to recover these treasures, kill that swine Kurtz and recover whatever he has left of King Solomon’s Mines, and help me expand our empire southwards into British East Africa.  We must be careful however as the British have troops on our northern and western borders and could make life difficult for us.  My army is large and well equipped, but we still fight in the old way and an angry British Lion would eviscerate us.  Rather we should let the Mahdi do our dirty work for us.  He has fallen in love with his own image and has been spoon fed more of this delusion by his new best friend, Adrian Enver Pasha, the so called ‘Beast of Bukhara’.  The later is ambitious and resourceful, the former charismatic and talented.  Together they will prove quite a handful for the British after they have disposed of the Italians, which they surely will.  We shall bide our time and come in behind the chaos they create.  That way we can pose as liberators and friends of the British and they – the Mahdists and their Buharan lickspittles – can take a damned good shoeing!  Now where is that carrot...”.

Your head was really swimming now, but his greatness was in full stream of consciousness now...”One other thing General.  We in Abysinnia were well served with Russian generals at the end of the last century, and some of their descendents still live amongst my people.   We have grown to love them as fellow Christians in a world that continues to become more ungodly by the day.  Your god, the Lord Buddha, seems like a jolly fat fellow, and I am sure we can make an accommodation”. An accommodation? “Oh I forgot to tell you, I cannot have children and I want to appoint you as my successor....”.  At that point he slid off the sofa and passed out on the floor.  Which was the last thing you remember as well.

This was great news,  but it was the mention of King Solomon’s mines that really  pricked your curiosity.  Sailissi wouldn’t tell you much more about it, but you got the distinct feel that there is something very interesting indeed about this legendary place.

Objectives
1.   Recover the sword of Prester John and ‘the cup of the carpenter’ and return them to Haile Sillasie.
2.   Capture as much territory as you can for the Abyssinian Empire.

Forces Available

Der Baron: +2 leader ‘Hero’          Chuffer Campbell: +1 leader ‘Hero’
Bodyguard Tibetan lancers – 200 men
1 squadron of elite Chahar Mongol cavalry – 125 men
2 coy’s of your best White Officers – 250 men
1 battery of field guns
1 coy of HMG’s
3 armoured cars
1 recon bi-plane
1 company of bodyguard Rastafarian warriors, a present from Haili Sillasie. – 125 men
Abyssinia can deploy up to 20,000 men as an offensive force.  A mixture of medieval and modern, they have decent numbers of small arms, artillery and machine guns, but poor tactics.  They rely on brave but foolhardy offensive tactics rather than a more considered approach.  Should suit you down to the ground!  Note none of these troops can be deployed into British East Africa until the Mahdists have crossed the Jubba (?) river.

Intelligence
The ‘Pink’ will provide a fertile source of intelligence, however in addition to that:
In addition to the Spear of Destiny, you acquired the Holy Roman Empires full Imperial Regalia, which you use as your own and always cart around with you on your travels.
Belgian Congo is a corrupt sumphole. The Belgian Congo authorities will turn a blind eye to all but the most outrageous flaunting of International law and common decency, particularly the further upriver you go.  Once you near German and particularly British territory then societal norms (of a sort) return.  
Colonel Kurtz, the notorious drug dealer, slave trader and gun runner, was last seen in the Ruandan Jungle north of Lake Tanganyika, reportedly in search of the legendary King Solomon’s Mines with a small army of fanatically loyal followers, both native and European.  He has kidnapped some Austrian nuns, which may be of interest to you.
German East Africa, newly independent after WWI, is currently run by a German elite of the old school, under Feld Marschel Von Lettow-Vorbeck (hero of the WWI campaign in East Africa).  He has employed a number of ex-Friekorps and White Russian mercenary soldiers and sailors, paid for by the rich sisal, coffee and rubber trade in the area.  Main bases are Dar-E-Salaam (the capital), Lindi, Bagamoyo , Tanga, Moshi (Lake Victoria), Tabora and Kigoma (Lake Tanganiyka).
British East Africa is divided into two districts, west (covering Lake Victoria) and East (covering Mombasa and the coastal region).  It is lightly held at present, and has an interim government, headed up by Brigadier Linn, as they await the arrival of the new Governor General.  Lake Victoria and the surrounding areas are under the command of a promising young British soldier, Major R.J.P. Langan.  Total garrison c.4,000 men.  They have built a tank proving ground off a spur line at Kajiado, under the command of Major JFC Fuller.
There is a strange pan-African cult on the rise.  Known as ‘Macumba’ is preaches a form of voodoo-socialism and is proving very popular along the slum ports of East Africa.  Their leader is known as Red-Can Man, though his real identity and whereabouts is a mystery.  He has however started using modern technology, in the form of wireless broadcasts, to promote his utopian vision.  Imperial authorities of all persuasion remain calm to this threat, but secretly are taking it very seriously.
The poster-boy of the Islamic revolution, Adrian Enver Pasha, has recently taken control of the Comoros islands through a series of marriage arrangements and concessions from the French government.  He is also currently working closely with the Mahdi in Somalia, where they have pinned down the last remnants of the Italian garrison in a few coastal forts.  He has a force of some 3,000 Bukharan regulars and up to 50,000 fanatical Mahdists.  Note that Abyssinia and Somali hate each other, mostly on religious grounds.
There is endemic drug related corruption in the sea ports of East Africa.  Most of the trade is controlled by a loose network of notorious ‘Ruga-Ruga’ gangs.  They have a trading link with the Abyssinian Rastafarians.
Central Africa is criss-crossed by illegal slave routes and blood diamond traders.  Most of the most notorious are Arabs from the east, and Belgians in the west.  Many of these parties are large and heavily armed, and are rumoured to be in cahoots with local businessmen and state organisations.  
To the south, the Portuguese colony of Mozambique is a byword for corruption, degenerate behaviour and loose living.  The Governor General, Sergio Orlando Antonio Pereira de Ivens Eufemia, rules with an iron fist and profits personally from this state of affairs.  He is said to be ambitious and keen to promote independence through close assocation with other foreign powers.  There are rumours that he is in cahoots with a advanced foreign power for the acquisition of modern technology.
Texas Ted remains embroiled in a fraud scandal in the USA, and may be delayed in his ambition to open up large tracts of southern Africa to oil exploration.  He is liable to go down, unless a ‘deal’ can be done.
STEVE LANGAN                           29/04/2010

[Ignatieff]

More from the action on the Jubbah......



The veteran Alpini sold their lives dearly......

Somalis loyal to the Italians, prepare to defend their village, whilst the Beast's steamroller, full of captured Italian equipment, rolls on.....


a closer look at the village.....

[Hammers]

Whats a good adventure without a drink???

Half an adventure. Or a 'adven', if you like.

[Ignatieff]

Half an adventure. Or a 'adven', if you like.

Wise words as always Hammers, wise words.....

[Ignatieff]

More from the Jubbah action.....



"Right you lovely boys!  Fix bayonets to welcome those nice Italian gentlemen, but as for those dusky b*****s in their rear, in-de-pendent fire!!!!"


Meanwhile the Beasts gunners rip into the retreating Italians....


"Let 'em 'ave it lads!"

[Ignatieff]

And yet more from the unfolding catastrophe...



The Alpini make a mad dash for the boat, whilst the loyal Askari kick Somali ass!


The view from the Bukharan lines...


Murder in the mudhuts!

[Ignatieff]

The Austrian brief....


Back to the Heart of Darkness                                Austrian brief

You are Colonel Walter Rudolph ‘Rudi’ Schneiber, hero of the Holy Roman Empire and winner of the highest military honour, the ‘Pour Le Merite’ for your exploits on the Italian front during WWI.  After your heroics in Shanghai you are also the most famous soldier in Austria, having redeemed national military pride after the defeat in WWI.  You have however made many powerful enemies in the process....
There is however some unfinished business that the new Austrian Republic has asked you to take care off.
12 months ago the Kuntshistoriche museum in Vienna was burnt to the ground in what was later proven to be an act of arson by the agents of Baron Ungern Von Sternberg.  Their mission was to steal the Austrian Empires most precious artefacts – The Holy Lance that pierced the side of Jesus Christ, and the associated Imperial Regalia.  It was not known at the time whether they had succeeded or not, due to destruction the fire caused.  However intelligence from the High Pamirs  (and as reported in the Kashgar Illustrated Sporting Pink)  suggest that they succeeded.  Der Baron is now known to have disposed of the Imperial Crown and Regalia to the renegade Colonel Walter E. Kurtz, whilst retaining The Lance - and its reportedly supernatural powers - for himself.
Colonel Kurtz, a notorious occultist and follower of Alistair Crowley, has also kidnapped six Austrian nuns, whom the government has also asked that you try and rescue
Your expedition, disguised as an anthropological expedition in search of the missing link (well, Der Baron’s involved!), starts from Fashoda in southern Sudan, on the banks of The White Nile.

Objective
Recover The Holy Lance from Der Baron.  Free the nuns and recover the Imperial Regalia from Colonel Kurtz.

Forces Available
Colonel Rudi Schneiber: + 2 leader            Major  Erwin Sikorsky: +1 leader
1 company of Grenadier Jaegers – specialist troops with up to date modern equipment and heavy weaponry. (motorised)
1 company of Austrian Alpine troops.  Tough mountain specialists (motorised)
1 company of Heavy machine guns (motorised)
1 battery of Krupps 75mm artillery (horse towed)
1 Lloyd Aviaitik reconnaissance aircraft
1 PZH Helicopter (the Austrian Army invented the helicopter, in 1916)
2 Romfeldt armoured cars
Anti- aircraft company (motorised)
About 500 men in total.
You have also contracted sufficient river transport to carry you as far down The White Nile as is practicable.  This should be able to get you as far as Lake Albert.
Enough money to hire what you need on the ground (local troops, transport, etc)
In addition your old friend Captain Nafzinger , commander of the SMS Kaisserin Marie Theresa is operating off the Somali coast, and can be contacted when needed.

Intelligence
The Pink will provide a fertile source of intelligence, however in addition to that, the following may be of use:
The British government is aware of your presence.  However Vienna has convinced them that it is time to clip the horns of Der Baron, and as long as you do not make too much fuss on Imperial soil, then you can go about your business, and importantly use Fashoda as your supply base.
Der Baron himself is still in Urga, his capital in Mongolia.  However intelligence has confirmed that he is to make a state visit to Abyssinia, and may already be on his way.  He intends to stay with the young King Haile Selassie in the capital Addis Ababa and travel around the country.  Der Baron rarely travels without a substantial military escort, and The Holy Lance always travels with him.
Abyssinia itself is a closed, secretive country with a large army on the throes of modernisation.  After defeating the Italians in the late 19th century they have been regarded as the finest native African army.
Colonel Kurtz was last seen in the Rwandan Jungle north of Lake Tanganyika, reportedly in search of the legendary King Solomon’s Mines. 
Somalia is in open revolt against Italian rule. The Mad Mullah has proclaimed himself ‘The Mahdi’ and has raised a massive force, aided by outside advisors, assumed to be Bolsheviks or Bukharians.
British East Africa is lightly defended.  Main British bases are Mombasa (naval), Nairobi (army and airforce), Lake Victoria (army and naval) and Kampala (army).  The command is split east/west, with the Masai-Mara district (west) under the command of Colonel Rory Langan, and East (including Nairobi) under the senior command of Brigadier Donald Linn, a notorious free-mason and Grand Master of the Orange Lodge in Africa.
German East Africa, newly independent after WWI, is currently run by a German elite of the old school, under Feld Marschel Von Lettow-Vorbeck (hero of the WWI campaign in East Africa).  He has employed a number of ex-Friekorps and White Russian mercenary soldiers and sailors, paid for by the rich sisal, coffee and rubber trade in the area.  Main bases are Dar-E-Salaam (the capital), Lindi, Bagamoyo , Tanga, Moshi (Lake Victoria), Tabora and Kigoma (Lake Tanganiyka).
There is also a strange pan-African cult on the rise.  Known as ‘Macumba’ is preaches a form of voodoo-socialism and is proving very popular along the slum ports of East Africa.  Their leader is known as Red-Can Man, though his real identity and whereabouts is a mystery.  He has however started using modern technology, in the form of wireless broadcasts, to promote his utopian vision.
The poster-boy of the Islamic revolution, Adrian Enver Pasha, has recently taken control of the Comoros islands through a series of marriage arrangements and concessions from the French government.
There is endemic drug related corruption in the sea ports of East Africa.  Most of the trade is controlled by the notorious ‘Ruga-Ruga’ gangs
There have been reports of Bolshevik sea raiders off the coast of British East Africa, though the British deny this.
Central Africa is criss-crossed by illegal slave routes and blood diamond traders.  Most of the most notorious are Arabs from the east, and Belgians in the west.  Many of these parties are large and heavily armed, and are rumoured to be in cahoots with local businessmen and state organisations.
To the south, the Portuguese colony of Mozambique is a byword for corruption, degenerate behaviour and loose living.  The Governor General, Sergio Orlando Antonio Pereira de Ivens Eufemia, rules with an iron fist and profits personally from this state of affairs.  He is said to be ambitious and keen to promote independence through close assocation with other foreign powers.  There are rumours that he is in cahoots with a advanced foreign power.
Texas Ted remains embroiled in a fraud scandal in the USA, and may be delayed in his ambition to open up large tracts of southern Africa to oil exploration.
STEVE LANGAN                           16/04/2010

[Ignatieff]

at this point, you would think that the British line would hold with ease, however.....




lucky dice, combined with relentless shelling from the Bukharan lines meant that the Hampshires legged it.  "Softy southern regiments", as Graves pointed out, to paraphrase his memoiries.....The road to Kenya was now open for the Beasts unquenchable ambitions!


elite Bukharan regulars prepare to go toe-to-toe with mad mental Somalis

[Ignatieff]

the last violent spasms of a disappearing culture (what rot, theyre still at it!)




Meanwhile in Mombassa........

More when I am back from skiing my tits off!

[Ignatieff]

OK one more brief.....played to a tee by Rodge....

Back to the Heart of Darkness                                   Belgian brief

You are ‘Major’ Dai Llewellyn Stroganoff, son of a Russian émigré and a Welsh barmaid.  Brought up in Antwerp, where your father traded diamonds before meeting with an unfortunate and violent end at the hands of Masonic secret society, your life has been a series of ‘might have beens’ and ‘nearly’ moments, that is until you washed up in the Congo Free State at the end of the last century and fell into the employ of King Leopold of the Belgians. ‘Leo’ as he became fondly known to you, was a man of vision, drive and enterprise, who understood that a firm hand was needed to control this violent and ungodly place.  He wisely chose to overlook the unfortunate incident with your governess and the three classmates that had forced you to leave Belgium, and gave you the opportunity to build a new life.
You thrived and prospered amongst the primeval madness and savagery of West Africa, acquiring numerous profitable trading franchises and concessions (mostly slaves, diamonds and opiates) until WWI temporarily put a halt to your ambitions.  Since then you have been re-building your ‘concessions’, despite the prevailing misguided liberal mood, and are poised to make your most profitable transaction yet.
Your (many) enemies describe you as a savage, opiate addled psychopath with a developed  penchant for unnatural sexual ‘interests’,  a voracious appetite for industrial quantities of Absinthe and Laudanum, and lacking any form of moral compass.  But you know deep down you only seek calmness and security from the demons that stalk your every sleeping hour....
You start the game at Leopoldville, capital of Belgian Congo

Objective
You have acquired a substantial cache of 50 mixed race slaves and 50 of the largest and highest grade diamonds ever found in Africa and have to smuggle them across Africa and deliver them to the Sultan of Zanzibar in return for 30,000 English gold sovereigns.
In addition, the sultan has requested that you make contact with Major Walter Kurtz, believed to be hiding deep in the mountains of Belgian Ruanda, who has acquired 15 of the Sultan’s favourite delicacy – Austrian nuns (think Julie Andrews x 15).  For this he is prepared to pay you an additional 1,000 sovereigns per nun delivered, over ten times the going rate!
You start the game with an additional 2,000 sovereigns of ‘petty cash’ with which to ease your way across the continent.  In addition to your personal objectives, you are automatically entered into the new Kriegspielers trading game, ‘Muscle, Money and Merchandise’, details of which will follow.
It goes without saying that what you are undertaking is highly illegal and morally reprehensible, and therefore absolute discretion is required.

Forces Available
‘Major’ Stroganoff: + 2 leader            Sergeant Weissman: +1 leader
120 Askaris and released criminals, a few machine guns, some antiquated light artillery, several hundred pounds of slightly sweating high explosive and your beloved Daimler.
200 pygmy cannibal ‘allies’
Sufficient porters to carry everything
The M.V. Nostromo to transport you up the Congo as far as is practicable.  There is a well established route (more or less) to Lake Tanganyika, involving a railhead transfer near the source of the Congo.
Forged passports and papers to get you through both German Tanganyika and British East Africa.

Intelligence
The ‘Pink’ will provide a fertile source of intelligence, however in addition to that:
You obviously have two main transit options to Zanzibar: straight across equatorial Africa, stopping to negotiate for the nuns on the way; or – with initially longer odds – sail around the Cape with your cargo of highly illegal goods and take your chances with the Royal Navy, get a wad of cash from the Sultan of Zanzibar with which to ‘tool up, before heading westwards once more.  Both are not without their (obvious) difficulties.
Mad Bob, an old associate of yours, has been appointed General Manager of the ‘Lunatic Express’.  He has the fastest route across British East Africa, at a price.....
The Belgian Congo authorities will turn a blind eye to all but the most outrageous flaunting of International law and common decency, particularly the further upriver you go.  Once you near German and particularly British territory then societal norms (of a sort) return.  There is however one place where ‘traditional values’ still hold sway: everything and anything goes in Portuguese East Africa.
Colonel Kurtz was last seen in the Ruandan Jungle north of Lake Tanganyika, reportedly in search of the legendary King Solomon’s Mines with a small army of fanatically loyal followers, both native and European.  He is aware of the Sultan’s desires but may prove elusive, difficult or expensive, or all three.
German East Africa, newly independent after WWI, is currently run by a German elite of the old school, under Feld Marschel Von Lettow-Vorbeck (hero of the WWI campaign in East Africa).  He has employed a number of ex-Friekorps and White Russian mercenary soldiers and sailors, paid for by the rich sisal, coffee and rubber trade in the area.  Main bases are Dar-E-Salaam (the capital), Lindi, Bagamoyo , Tanga, Moshi (Lake Victoria), Tabora and Kigoma (Lake Tanganiyka).  Fort Bismarck at the southern end of the Lake is in the process of being re-built.
British East Africa is divided into two districts, west (covering Lake Victoria) and East (covering Mombasa and the coastal region).  It is lightly held at present, and has an interim government, headed up by Brigadier Linn, as they await the arrival of the new Governor General.  Lake Victoria and the surrounding areas are under the command of a promising young British soldier, Major R.J.P. Langan
There is a strange pan-African cult on the rise.  Known as ‘Macumba’ is preaches a form of voodoo-socialism and is proving very popular along the slum ports of East Africa.  Their leader is known as Red-Can Man, though his real identity and whereabouts is a mystery.  He has however started using modern technology, in the form of wireless broadcasts, to promote his utopian vision.  Imperial authorities of all persuasion remain calm to this threat, but secretly are taking it very seriously.
The poster-boy of the Islamic revolution, Adrian Enver Pasha, has recently taken control of the Comoros islands through a series of marriage arrangements and concessions from the French government.  He is also rumoured to be bankrolling the Mahdi in Somalia.
There is endemic drug related corruption in the sea ports of East Africa.  Most of the trade is controlled by a loose network of notorious ‘Ruga-Ruga’ gangs, with some of whom you have cordial relationships, though no large measure of trust.
Central Africa is criss-crossed by illegal slave routes and blood diamond traders.  Most of the most notorious are Arabs from the east, and Belgians in the west.  Many of these parties are large and heavily armed, and are rumoured to be in cahoots with local businessmen and state organisations.  You are the most notorious of this lot, but not without competition.
The Abyssinian government to the north has indulged in a bout of sabre rattling with the colonial powers, no doubt stoked up by their new best friend – Der Baron.
To the south, the Portuguese colony of Mozambique is a byword for corruption, degenerate behaviour and loose living.  The Governor General, Sergio Orlando Antonio Pereira de Ivens Eufemia, rules with an iron fist and profits personally from this state of affairs.  He is said to be ambitious and keen to promote independence through close assocation with other foreign powers.  There are rumours that he is in cahoots with a advanced foreign power for the acquisition of modern technology.
Texas Ted remains embroiled in a fraud scandal in the USA, and may be delayed in his ambition to open up large tracts of southern Africa to oil exploration.
STEVE LANGAN                           16/04/2010


Stoganoff (right) and The Beast plot something very unpleasant......meanwhile, an unaturally hairy hand appears on the right foreground....."Who let Der Baron in???"