The Gentlemen of Much Piddling invite you to take a ringside seat around the magical table that is the internet and enjoy (or not) one of our games, you may participate in the heckling and name calling as much or as little as you like. Your comments and criticisms of the tactics employed by the protagonists will be warmly received, but don’t be too surprised if you are ignored or worse chastised for a low down Hyena with dogs breath for coming up with such a puerile suggestion. Especially if that suggestion results in a disaster for the recipient.
I’ve always posted my AAR’s after the game, as most people seem to do, I guess the After in AAR probably sums it up, but this will be a BAR(Before) and become a DAR(During) as the action progresses.
The BackgroundFirstly a disclaimer, this is my scenario and my ideas, I don’t wish to offend anyone who has suffered through this recent traumatic period, so please take it in the light hearted spirit in which it is written.The Virus hit the UK hard, be prepared was not the Government’s motto and so when the situation improved there was a sigh of relief from the public, that is until things took a turn for the worse. There was public unrest when a 2nd lockdown was signalled in most of the major Northern cities and conurbations but there would have been pandemonium if they had realized the real reason behind the measures.
The reason given was simple, “we need to stop people from the cities moving around and infecting each other” and so the Covid Enforcers as they became known were created. The Covid Response Assistant Police built border posts around the major centres of population to ensure the inhabitants remained in their virus infected towns.
Almost everyone believed this version of the truth but the real reason was not to keep the city folk in but to keep the country folk out.
The virus was mutating and the situation was getting out of hand. Greenpeace had been warning about the impact on the environment of cow farts otherwise known as Methane for years and they were right but not in the way they expected. The virus combining with the excess methane in the countryside had mutated from a deadly flu type virus into something else and this was why the countryside was in quarantine, but the Government didn’t want the countryside to know that or anyone else for that matter. Their reasons may become apparent as the scenario unfolds.
The Briefing“B” and “19” were called to a meeting in Whitehall with other members of the Security Council and given their briefing by Sierra of MI5. Sierra or Susan Nightingale was only the 2nd female head of MI5 and the equivalent of M from MI6.
“19” was the code name for Sir Douglas D’Emfoure a well respected member of Rotters the elite Mayfair Club and head of the new Covid Response Assistant Police or Covid Enforcers in common parlance and “B” was the code name for Mad Lord Snapcase the Head of the new Diversity and Regionally Organised Special Services or Wally’s as they were known in the Army who had overseen their training.
On the only occasion Snappers was asked about his code name he had responded that, as a member of the Aristocracy it behove him to take a code name to signify that fact, but he couldn’t decide between Brenda or Bryan and so went with the easy alternative of B. A case of champers to anyone who knows what that is all about.
The meeting was opened by Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe Chairman of the euphemistically called Joint Committee for Public Safety, “This will be a
covert operation requiring the utmost secrecy and discretion on the part of your operatives and the country relies on you to
fulfil this quietly, discreetly but most importantly efficiently, I’ll hand you over to Sierra for the details”.
Susan Nightingale passed around some photographs and started the briefing.
“We’ve been keeping an eye on various dissenting groups around the country and there’s one in northern Derbyshire that is giving us cause for concern. They seem to have far more information about the current crisis than they can have learned from the B.B.C. and we believe they are planning to breakout from their rural idyll and move into the safety of Moss Side in Manchester.
They are blocked off to the West, North and East, we are soon to close Derby and Stoke and that will completely ring them in. Should they break out, this would be a PR disaster and can’t be allowed to happen. They have been under the radar for a long time and we know very little of this group other than the fact that they know things they shouldn’t and recently they have been ordering quite large quantities of fertilizer. It is an arable farm and so that may be nothing but we need to know if they are planning to blow their way out”.
“These Photographs were taken with the silent drone operated by the North Derbyshire Constabulary the one they normally use for spotting lockdown rebels having picnics in the Peak District National Park”.
The farm from the South
From the East
From the West
From the North
We had a couple of chaps from Special Branch take a look at the place and they took some photographs as well but I think they were taken in by the beauty of the countryside because they are more like holiday snaps that surveillance footage.
They were all taken from the South looking North except one.
There appear to be 2 wooden garages or work sheds to the south of the main house.
Not a very helpful shot but there are quite a few beehives around the farm, and we’ve no idea what’s in the crates or under the tarpaulins, probably just farm junk.
I think they were looking to get Landscape Photographer of the Year Award for this one.
“At great personal risk and ignoring Health and Safety warnings from his colleague, one of them climbed a tree and this is an enhanced view of the photo he took before falling and breaking his arm”.
“The old Morris Traveller is fairly typical of the area but there is a fast red sports car parked behind the house. We couldn’t identify the number plate but we’ve checked with the Department of Transport and the car isn’t registered to that address and there’s no record of an MOT linked to them either”.
“There is a tank next to the Traveller it might contain red diesel, but it might be an LPG tank, different results if you put a bullet in it” she smiled.
This one was taken from the bend in the road NW of the farm, looking SE and shows the door on that side of the building.
That’s it, but I’ve saved the best for last and she threw one more photo on the table.
“OK this is from one of the US Satellites and gives you a good idea of the layout of the area around the farm and should help with your assault plan”.
“This is all the information I have at the moment, but there are officers working round the clock to get more, anything you need specifically, just ask and we’ll do our best”.
She went on. “There were no signs of people but on last years electoral roll there were two residents in their late 60’s and one younger woman in her early 20’s, in previous years there were another 2 young women but they were not on last years roll and so have probably left the property.
No dogs were seen or heard but it’s a farm for goodness sake although unusually the barns and working buildings are off to the SW about ½ a mile away so that might be where the dogs are if they have them”.
“The road is a small B road, there is regular but mainly local traffic, the nearest village is 2 miles down the road that leads S and there is a large Hall about 1 mile to the NE just off the road that leads E on this picture”.
“Well gentleman that’s about all we know at present, when we get more information I will update you immediately”. So saying Susan Nightingale sat down and Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe continued the brief.
“What I would like you to do is to enter the farm, discover the source of their information, check what if anything the large quantities of fertilizer are for, and to place all 3 occupants under arrest and bring them down to Whitehall for interrogation. I have warrants for their arrest under the prevention of terrorism act but if I’m honest the local plod might take exception to us tramping over their patch and so I’m not informing them of our action. They don’t like the Covid Enforcers operating in their jurisdiction and as for the military arm of the Diversity and Regionally Organised Special Services being employed instead of the Police Armed Response Teams, I don’t even want to consider that issue”.
“There is a gun licence issued to the joint owners of the house for 2 shotguns and so you have my authority to treat them as armed and dangerous. Just don’t get the press involved because that statement is not on record if you do”.
“Right gentlemen if you could just give us a little background on the forces you will be using and then we can let you get on with the planning”.
“OK if I go first” Sir Douglass asked the Mad Lord, “of course old chap, go right a head” was the amiable response.
“Well leading the team is Captain Andy Donovan, a crack shot with a brain as sharp as a razor, we were lucky to get him from the Chicago Police Dept. He’s a hardboiled cop through and through. There were one or two incidents that the Chicago PD were not too comfortable with but he’s an ideal man for this sort of no nonsense lefty bashing. Ponsonby-Smythe started to look a little uncomfortable.”
“The rest of the team are good truncheon men if you understand me, good at knocking heads which is what we pay them for, except for Lamour but he’s young yet. Lamour and Ludenstein are members of the New Forest deer culling team and are as stealthy as foxes so I’m told, quite good shots as well they will be ideal in this sort of clandestine operation. Diaz passed his last marksman tests but is not as well as the other men in the team, he paused as he thought of the rather low score Diaz had recorded”.
“I’m fully confident they will do their duty without hesitation”. He coughed then, thinking of the recent Psych evaluation which was less than enthusiastic about the men’s dedication to their duty in the face of determined opposition, best not to mention that he thought.
The Team –
Andy Donovan – Excellent shot, poor brawler, bright as a button, strong as an ox, not as brave as a badger.
Willhelm Schmitt - Fairly good shot, excellent brawler, bit dim, fast reflexes, not as brave as a badger.
Enrico Diaz, - Poor shot, excellent brawler, bit dim, very strong, not as brave as a badger.
James Lamour - Fairly good shot, poor brawler, bit dim, very stealthy, not as brave as a badger.
Hans Ludenstien - Fairly good shot, excellent brawler, bit dim, very stealthy, is as brave as a badger.
They are all equipped with a 12gauge 5 shot Pump Action Shotgun, a Semi Automatic Pistol and a Truncheon. They carry 20 spare rounds of shotgun shells and 2 spare clips for the pistol.
All are wearing wireless communication sets networked together and to HQ. They wear body cameras linked to HQ only but they are untested in action. They all have mobile phones and are on speed dial with each other, google maps and locations are switched on and readable by HQ through the phone network.
“Over to you Snapcase old chap” and Snappers started on his run down of the Diversity and Regionally Organised Special Services.
Lord Snapcase rose and in a commanding voice said “Well the team coordinator is Jethroe on a 1 year contract, he was previously with the Bolivian Special Forces as an advisor, a very likable chap don’t you know and a crack shot. His contract only has 3 months to run but I’m sure we will be able to renew – if finances allow of course”, and he looked at Ponsonby-Smythe who continued to look a little uncomfortable.
“The team have been well trained by the best in the British Army and as you know diversity brings its own rewards and we have a 50/50 mix of male and female in the team and so have hit our target on gender diversity exceedingly well, we’re working on the rest of it he hastened to say”.
“I’m afraid they aren’t the SAS, their shooting scores are passable (but only just he thought and reflected on the wise decision to issue them with smg’s) but they can all think for themselves, (which might be the reason they are not so enthusiastic about combat) and their close quarters combat skills have been honed to razor sharpness, (well except for Kowalski but she carries a grenade launcher and is tasked with being the teams artillery)”.
Ponsonby-Smythe started to look a little relieved, “well he said that sounds very promising. I know there is strong support to de-fund the army and privatising it like this will bring a huge financial peace dividend to the country, so I’m pleased we can send a strong signal that minimum wages doesn’t mean we have minimum capability”. Now Lord Snapcase started to look a little uncomfortable.
The Team –
Jethroe – Excellent shot, poor brawler, reasonably bright, very nice chap, not as brave as a badger.
Dan Barry, - Poor shot, ok brawler, reasonably bright.
Danielle Street – Poor shot, excellent brawler, bit dim but a bit brave.
Stephanie Kowalski – Poor shot, very poor brawler, bright and stealthy but not as brave as a badger.
Bryce Zenin – poor shot, good brawler bright, and very stealthy, but not as brave as a chicken.
They are all equipped the same with a sub machine gun, Jethroe has his own personal weapon a Semi Automatic Pistol and they all carry 3 spare clips for the smg, cost cutting is vital to ensure a profit margin in the new embryonic privatised army. Additionally everyone carries 4 grenades, 2 smoke and 2 stun. Kowalski also has a 6 shot grenade launcher and 12 grenades for it, 10 smoke and 2 stun. Street has a one shot Light Anti Tank Weapon which may be a bit of overkill although I’m sure B will find a use for it and her personal fighting knife carried is in her right boot.
All are wearing wireless communication sets networked together and to HQ. They wear body cameras linked to HQ only but they are untested in action. They all have personal mobile phones and are on speed dial with each other, google maps and locations are switched on and readable by the phone owner only.
Opening MovesThe Joint Operational Head Quarters team of Snappers and D’Emfoure will be hard at work devising a jolly cunning plan, probably as cunning as a fox, who knows and once I know what they are up to, the mission to stop the countryside escaping to the city will begin, - to be stopped.
In game terms the board is roughly 1m sq, men and women can move normally about 6”, covertly 3” and run up to 12” over open terrain, crawling takes forever but is safeish. Firing is quite a long way, throwing is about 9”and as this is a mission against civilians only smoke, stun grenades and stones are available.
Shouting ranges are 10” but with the radio that’s immaterial unless you are shouting at someone else. Body armour can be worn, but it slows movement a bit and reduces the chance of moving stealthily but may save your skin. All or none of each team will be equipped with body armour at the discretion of their respective HQ.
One person from each team has a breeching charge, this will blow a hole through a farm wall or any other wall for that matter. HQ need to specify who carries the charge.