In my opinion: Ramshackle's new boneyard truck is a pile of rubbish!!!!
... this is what I heared an angry voice shouting at me through the phone yesterday...
At first I was stunned, but quickly realised that the said voice belonged to Ulysses S. Eless ( Major U.S. Eless), my commanding officer.
First, allow me to introduce myself: I am Captain S. Cratchbuilt, Supply & Purchasing officer of the 2014th Combat Engineers Regiment, stationed in the Pamela XXVIII sector. A few weeks ago, I received instructions from my CO to purchase ASAP some full tracked engineer transport vehicles, armoured and carrying a dozer blade.
I first looked at the offerings from our usual supplier: "GW" (Grand Weaponry ltd), but soon realised that my budget (strongly reduced by the current galaxy-wide financial and economical crisis...) would not allow me to buy the number of vehicles as per specs. After some research, I came in contact with a manufacturer by the name of "Ramshackle" (the name alone should have rang a bell...), offering similar vehicles (called "Boneyard Trucks") at a fraction of the price. I contacted them over the intergalaxial comsystem and was duly informed that the company was pleased to do business with us and that the disassembled vehicles would arrive yesterday. Ad so they did, but appearantly not the the liking of my CO. Oh dear...
I tried to reason with my CO (otherwise a good friend) by answering: "but, Ulysses...". I came no further: "It is MAJOR to you, CAPTAIN" he said and continued: "You would oblige me, CAPTAIN to have this pile of junk removed from the technics hall. If I could just say ONE good word about these socalled "vehicles"! The doors creack, all armour plates are dented and the engines leak oil faster than we can refill'm. Have'm send to the junkyard AT ONCE!!!". End of conversation...
There was little else I could do but call for Sergeant Llef Sitruc, commanding the brown Orks in the junkyard. If there is something good about being posted in Pamela XXVIII it is no doubt the fact that the system is inhabited by several tribes of brown Orks. Agreed, from time to time some clans do turn against us, but many are also allied to our cause, and... at least they speak proper english (well, sort of...) instead of the usual Ork mumbojumbo.
Llef Sitruc arrived a few minutes later and I ordered him to collect the Boneyard wrecks (at least, according to my CO...) and recycle them at the junkyard.
At last, peace... Or so I thought, because minutes later my phone rang again. This time it was Llef asking if he could have a go at the wretched machines. "Boss" he said (I hate it when they call me that, but it seems to be the Orkish way), "Boss, these trucks aren't that bad at all. They've got a good blade, all they still need is a sting. Can I have a go at'm and mount an autocannon turret on top so I can use'm on patrol? I'll even paint'm up nicely in our standard sand/green pattern for uniformity". Oh, what the heck, I told him to do as he pleased. I had other worries: I still needed some new trucks and my budget was spent...
Today, I received another phonecall from the Major. I immy recognised his voice and answered: "Captain S. Cratchbuilt, at your service, Major!" "Oh come one, dear fellow" he replied "don't be so formal! It is Ulysses to you... BTW, I saw Llef Sitruc in one of these Boneyard things on the parade ground this morning. Actually, they don't look that bad... Could you instruct Sitruc to return them to the technics hall?...". I politely told him to take up the matter with Llef himself. I haven't heared back from him yet...
(http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm262/geudens_photos/boneyard01.jpg)
Llef Sitruc testing his new toy...
(http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm262/geudens_photos/boneyard02.jpg)
... painted in our official sand/green camo-scheme (well, at least the Orkish way, not using a spraygun but a bucket...) (http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm262/geudens_photos/boneyard03.jpg)