S.H.O.D.D.Y. 40k (Cheap Sci-Fi Tank)

[Storm Wolf]

Well done love them

But even better than the modelling and painting which is superb by the way, is the back stories, I like them very much indeed.

Keep up the good work

All the best

Glen

[Ultravanillasmurf]

That is impressive.

Excellent marketing.

[Bearwoodman]

UVS - Thank you!

Storm Wolf - I appreciate your comment! I have plenty of ideas for other SHODDY variants, several of which are slowly approaching production. And thank you for your feedback on the back stories - there will be more of them!

[Bearwoodman]

“Magos, welcome! So good of you to answer our call, and so quickly! Our Tech Priest has been tearing his hair out and we don’t have much time left!”

The robed and hooded figure bowed its head. “Commander, I exist only to serve the Emperor through communion with the spirits of those machines that might also serve him. I came as soon as I received your signal.”

“Er, yes of course. Well, step this way, she is through here.”

“She?”

“Twilight Sparkle, of course! Not normally the pick of the Troop, but Applejack hit a mine last week and Pinkie Pie was ruled out after that incident at the Legio Titanicus Rugby Club Annual Dinner.”

Even with his cybernetically enhanced sensory receptors and augmented mental architecture, the Magos was unable to draw a meaningful conclusion from the available data. As they strode through the vast workshop, the Commander elaborated.

“You see, poor Pinky broke down next to the Regimental Sports Field and had to be left there to be recovered the next day. It was just our luck that the Warp Runners RFC were at the Clubhouse that night, you know what those Titan drivers are like after a few drinks. Apparently one chap in a Warlord actually scored a penalty kick with her! Although, judging by the state of her the next morning, it took a number of attempts. So we were left with Twilight Sparkle, who now won’t start. Here she is”

The Magos stepped forward to study the large slab-sided shape that the Commander was indicating. He noted the twin barrels protruding from the turret, the rather crude welding, and the stencil of a purple unicorn on the side of the hull.

“Twilight Sparkle is.... the machine you wish me to awaken?”

“Yes, yes, as I said.  Can you do it?”

“I do not recognise the model, but I am initiated into the 14th turning of the sacred mysteries of tracked propulsion and have never encountered a tank of human origin that I have not been able to reach. What time is the attack?”

“Attack? Oh, I see! No, she's not needed for an attack as such.  It is a parade.”

“The Emperor’s Birthday is not for another 3 months and 6.87 days. Your Astra Militarum Needs You Day is in 7 months and 22.87 days. The Malign Temptations of Chaos Awareness Day was last Tuesday. What parade do you need this vehicle for?”

“Er, she is detailed to pull C Company’s float at PRIDE tomorrow.”

The Magos curtailed his examination of the vehicle known as Twilight Sparkle and turned to focus his attention on the Commander. 

“Such an event does not appear to fall within one of the categories that justify a code 739 emergency signal. I will have to report this to my superiors in the Priesthood."

“Magos, is that really necessary? Participating in the procession serves many important functions in the service of the Emperor. It raises morale and generates much goodwill among the populace, not to mention that it guarantees me an 'Exceeded Expectations' rating for the Diversity and Inclusion objective in my annual appraisal.  And the men are all really excited about it.  They've chosen the theme of “Brazilian Carnival” and have been working jolly hard on their dance routine, while the QM has done a grand job sourcing a supply of little sparkly costumes with feathers for each Guardsman to wear. Plus the weather is set to be glorious tomorrow!”

The Magos regarded the Commander from beneath his hood. He was confident that he had detected a clear breach of protocol. His duty required him to inform the relevant authorities, return to his Machine Alter and await his next assignment.

And yet.

There were still elements of his body that had not yet been blessed by the Mechanicus. Elements that were non-logical.  Elements that remained primitive flesh and blood. And deep inside his biological self, he felt the beat of the Samba.

"Commander,  I will commence the incantations now and the machine will rise before dawn.  Bring me 6 Servitors, 2 gallons of ritual oil ... and a sparkly feathered costume in my size.”

[Storm Wolf]

 

excellent fluff of the most fluffy kind Sir, rhythm is gonna get you!

Glen

[AKULA]

Very shoddy...love the builds, and the fluff is top drawer

 

[Bearwoodman]

Many thanks for the comments, AKULA and Storm Wolf! I am glad you like it so far!

I am awaiting shipment of paint to finish the Necron SHODDY, and predictably in the meantime I have been distracted by other projects. I have not forgotten my SHODDY tanks though, and have had a stab at a more conventional tank variant. I wanted to use the original turret but make it look large enough to fit the crew in it as well as a (single) gun.  Here is the work in progress.



My concern at the moment is that it looks a bit too ordinary, and not 40k enough, but I have some ideas!

Meanwhile the SHODDY SPG's have been seeing some action...

[Bearwoodman]

"There you are Major! I have been looking for you everywhere!  But what the blazes are you doing hiding in the stationary cupboard?"

"Um... Sir"

"I know it is important to keep on top of administration, but the battle is only just over! And I want to talk to you about your battery's performance."

"Yes, Sir, I thought you might, Sir."

"I must say you had us all going there, Major! Standard Imperial procedure for clearing a Tyranid infestation from a large agricultural complex would be to flatten it with artillery fire, and we assumed you would take this opportunity to demonstrate this tactic with your new Shadow SPGs."

"Er, Shoddy SPGs, Sir."

"Especially after Major Perkins made that comment in the briefing about your boys not being able to hit the broad side of a barn!  Ridiculous thing to say, of course, but he was only jealous that I didn't assign the job to his Basilisks!"

"Sir."

"And when you told old famer MacCragge that in order to save his farm it was necessary to destroy it, the poor fellow almost had a heart attack!"

"Sir."

"And of course the whole division heard your order over the net to focus fire on Barn number 1, and not to stop until all ammunition was exhausted."

"Sir, I can explain..."

"And yet after a three hour bombardment the buildings were all untouched, and you returned to base before the infantry assault went in!"

"Sir, about that..."

"What I want to know is: How did you know that the 'Nids had evacuated the barns and concealed themselves in pits in the surrounding fields?"

"Well, Sir, it's these new vehicles, I... What, Sir?"

"You had clearly worked out that the cunning xenos expected us to expend our ammunition on the buildings and planned to spring their ambush once the bombardment was over. Only, thanks to you and your Sabre SPGs..."

"Shoddy SPGs, Sir."

"...there were no 'Nid pits left within 3 miles of the main barn! Your elaborate bluff worked!"

"My elaborate bluff, Sir. Yes, Sir"

"Although that bit when you got out of your tank and ran up and down the firing line frantically striking each vehicle with a branch from a tree while shouting "hit that bloody barn, it's the third largest in the galaxy, or I'll give you a damn good thrashing!" was rather unnecessary. The threat had been pretty much eradicated by that point. Although I grant you the tears of frustration in your eyes were very realistic."

"Um... sorry about that, Sir?"

"Ah, don't mention it, man. The General was watching and was impressed. He made some very encouraging noises about my promotion!"

"Well done, Sir."

"And, between you and me, you are currently odds on for Battery Commander of the Week!"

"Thank you, Sir."

"Furthermore, on the basis of today's showing, I have set the wheels in motion to re-equip all the Brigade's tracked artillery units with these new Sharpshooter SPGs! The enemies of mankind had better watch out!"

"Yes, Sir. Shoddy, Sir."

[Warren Abox]

Started my first bodge.

Not sure which faction this will be.  Anyone know how to make/model rivets at vaguely this scale?

Black puffy paint is your friend.  I painted this cardboard tank up, then used that for rivets, then hit each one with a blip of silver paint for a touch of flash.  Lots smaller than your bulky boys, but it is an option.

[Thew1]

This thread has just cheered me up no end! The inventive conversions and fluff combined are brilliant, thanks for sharing 

[leadboy]

Great stuff, Bearwoodman, and all of us stuck back in 1938 salute you! I've labelled your most recent variant the "Super Shoddy" (as it would undoubtedly be on our battlefield) and put your product into a place of honour on our campaign blog: https://hereford1938avbcwtng.blogspot.com/

[leadboy]

Oh and a PS  -  for an entirely new "Shoddy" chassis (and this time including free turret!) see the blog here -
https://hereford1938avbcwtng.blogspot.com/2020/05/proley-tanks.html

[Bearwoodman]

Warren Abox: Thanks for the puffy paint tip, I had not heard of that before. And I love the scratch built tank; sponsons, hull-mounted howitzer,  massive tracks, that looks totally 40k. And a proper Sci-Fi paint job too!

Thew1: I really appreciate the feedback. There will be more (eventually)!

Leadboy: Your salute is returned! 1938 is when it all began of course. The new vehicle looks very interesting, especially the one with turret at the rear. But I have SHODDY Mark Is to finish before I splash out on more vehicles! I have spent my limited recent hobby time knee-deep in gnomes so I have no Shoddy modelling progress to report. I do like the Super-Shoddy name, though. I think the SHODDY marketing department might be rather keen on that. Although, in the grim, dark future, what amounts to "super" does rather depend on your perspective...

[Bearwoodman]

"It's going to be fine, it's going to be fine" he muttered to himself. "They are just customers, they just want some reasonably priced weapons". He looked towards the approaching figures, and forced himself to grin broadly. 

"Good morning Warboss! Morning Boyz! I do hope you are all keeping well!"

"Whatevs, Humie. Whatcha got this time?"

He swallowed as the hulking figures came to a halt in front of him. He nervously eyed the jagged teeth, automatic weapons and bulging green muscles. Then took a deep breath and beamed again.

"Something special today, Warboss! Real cutting edge technology! Originally destined for a Space Marine outpost, but now as a result of a series of fortunate and entirely legal events..."

"Cut da jiba jaba, humie" growled the largest and most heavily scarred of the assembled creatures. "Wot iz it?"

"A tank, Warboss! And not just any tank, the latest up-armoured, up-gunned variant of a classic 1930's design! A vehicle with real pedigree!  A Super Shoddy!"

There was a silence while the creatures stared at the man blankly.

"Never 'eard of it. Big gun?"

"Oh yes! Well, certainly powerful! It sends a relatively small round at very high velocity with a high degree of accuracy a very long way! And coupled with the computerised fire control system, laser rangefinder and advanced optics it is an effective all-weather anti-armour weapon system! No more close range armoured melees. Next time your enemies approach you simply go hull down and pick them off at up to 3000m!"

One of the Boyz yawned.  "Sounds borin'. Big bang when it goes off?"

"Well actually the propellant is almost entirely smokeless and the barrel is designed to conceal any muzzle flash and reduce the acoustic signature."

"Lame. Iz it fast?"

"Well, the additional armour on the mantlet and glacis does mean speed is lower than the standard version, but it will keep up with advancing infantry."

"So it's slow. Spikes?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said" repeated the hulking creature, stepping forward and leering down at the man "does it have SPIKES?!"

"But, er, why would a main battle tank have spikes?"

"So" the creature explained, fingering an enormous knife dangling from its belt "we can take our enemies' heads..." The creature reached out and tousled the man's hair, all the while grinning evily "...and stick 'em on 'em!"

The man could feel himself trembling and knew the sale was slipping away, but he made one last valiant pitch.

"Look, if you take it I will arrange for some spikes to be welded on, all over it if you want. I will also throw in the application of some proper military camouflage, free of charge, so it will be battle ready at day one. It's a great deal."

The Warboss's low brow furrowed. "Why's it need new cammo?"

"Oh, the vehicle was intended for a Red Legion honour guard so was factory specified in a chapter colours, fine for parading in front of dignatories of course, but certainly not suitable for the battlefield on a world like this."

"So wot colour iz it?"

"The Red Legion chapter colour is, er... red."

The creatures quickly exchanged glances and the Warboss's grin was replaced by a more thoughtful expression.

One of the Warboss's companions muttered "Well, it can't be that slow then, Boss."

"The Mekboyz could easily rip out dat weedy human gun and stick a proper kannon in" added a second.

"An' wiv spikes all over..." suggested a third "...it could go at the front of da charge! Remember when I rammed that humie Predator! Dat was fun, but would 'av been better if I woz in a tank, rather than on a motorbike..."

"Shuddup!" exclaimed the Warboss. He eyed the man. "We'll take it.  Leave it red.  But don't forget da spikes!"

[Bearwoodman]

"Ok, ok, I get it, Paul. It's proven technology, developed by the Squat Engineers Guild, and has already been accepted for use in the Astra Militarum, so we have our market. But my concern is the IP angle. If we at SHODDY start producing our "enhanced" version - incorporating the cost savings Linda outlined earlier in the meeting - all that is going to happen is that we are going to sued for infringement of their patent rights."

"Well, Ellen, we have had our in-house counsel look into that and apparently the threat of enforcement action from the Engineers Guild is minimal."

"Really, how so?"

"There was a genocidal assault by Tyranids on the Squat homeworlds a few years back. Over years of terrible fighting planet after planet fell.  The entire race, one of humanity's closest and most powerful allies, was more or less wiped out, including the management and staff of the Engineers Guild and their intellectual property lawyers."

"Excellent! Yes, that should certainly reduce the chance of a claim.  Great work Paul, I should have known you would have had it all covered. Charles, how quickly can your team complete the tooling necessary on line 6 to get production underway..."