Bearwoodman's Gnomes

[Bearwoodman]

Scatterbrains: Many thanks, glad you like them! Each unit's standard will bear the image of a suitably intimidating woodland creature!

Mallo: I really like these sculpts, but note that they are very small. If you do go ahead and build a Gnome army please post some pictures for us to see!

Rick W: I'm really pleased you like them! I wish I was as productive as you! I do have a small update though...

A Hornblower. The sound of this horn reverberating over the meadows and glades strikes terror into the hearts of evil-doers. It also signals last orders at the bar down at the Maypole and Mushroom.





And some revellers:

[Ceeteegee]

Gnomes.  What's there not to like. I have only one Gnome archer to my name, but might end up with a Shortage of archers somewhere down the line ( If only to counter the rumoured Halfling Militia force said to be lurking on a painting desk near me). 

[Bearwoodman]

Ceeteegee: I hope you post the archers when they are done! You need to keep an eye on those Halflings - big bullies!

I have finished another unit. These guys are the Gnome shock troops. Only the largest and most belligerent Gnomes may join the Gnomenry of the Guard. They eschew armour and the heavy and unwieldy spears that equip most Gnome infantry.  They fight under the Robin Standard, a creature admired throughout the forest for its endurance, agility and it's unrelenting ferocity when defending its territory.



With their loud boasts and quick tempers the Gnomenry are endured rather than celebrated in Gnome society.  Most ordinary Gnomes tend to drink up and head home when the Gnomenry turn up in the local tavern. Having said that, when there is troll on the loose, or a goblin cave to storm, most Gnomes are glad that these fearless warriors are on their side.

[Blackwolf]

Excellent, love the standard bearer

[Grumpy Gnome]

Great work mate!

[Melnibonean]

Great stuff. The Gnomenry look suitably ferocious.

[Bearwoodman]

Blackwolf: Many thanks! There are plenty more standards to come in this project (although not (yet) for the next unit, see below).

Rick W: Cheers!

Melnibonean: The sculpts of the Gnome halberdiers are noticeably larger than those of the other Gnomes in the range, so it made sense that these lads are the swaggering bully-boys of this particular Gnomish society.

Next up we have some missile weapons. Wearing tunics of "skirmisher green" this unit sometimes like to refer to themselves as the "95th (Trifles)". 


Some say this nickname dates back to an incursion by an Ogre, Kaiser the Garlic-smelling, into the Beechwood many years ago. When confronted by a picquet of crossbowgnomes on the edge of the forest and ordered to turn back, Kaiser laughed and said that the Gnomes were merely a nation of mushroom-keepers and that he had come to take those mushrooms to dip in his foul sauce.  The Gnomes could not stop him as they has only a "trifling little army" and that he had already had 94 Gnomes for dinner he was looking forward to the 95th for pudding! Well, you will all be glad to know that the thin red line (of pointy hats) held firm and the Ogre received his just desserts.

Others say that story is just a clumsy attempt to crowbar some irrelevant historical allusions into a fantasy thread. We may never know the truth.


In any event, while Gnomes are not masters of metal working like the Dwarves, they are very skilled at making precise mechanisms. Their small crossbows lack the range of those produced by larger species but are very accurate. These Gnomes specialise in close range ambushes in woodland where their wickedly sharp bolts shot into chinks in armour from a low angle have brought down intruders much larger than themselves.

[Batty Coalhouse]

What a bunch of characters!

Bearwoodman, what are the best Gnomish beers available at the Maypole and Mushroom?

[Bearwoodman]

Bearwoodman, what are the best Gnomish beers available at the Maypole and Mushroom?

A very sensible question, Batty Coalhouse. To be honest the locally produced Red Cap Cider is extremely popular, with Aunt Ebba's Marmalade and Elderflower Sherry also selling well. If it is definitely beer you are after then perhaps try a pint of New Intriguing Beard, a full flavoured bitter, or if you prefer a mild, try Pressed Goblin. If you fancy a trendy IPA then perhaps give Punk Squirrel a try.

For a taste of the exotic, you might be able to get a bottle of Tripel Guarden Gnomen de Alpin Blond, brewed by the Beechwood Gnome's cousins living far off in the foothills of a distant and mighty range of mountains and imported at considerable expense and risk. Just ask for a "Three Blonds" and don't expect it to be cheap.

If you are feeling adventurous (or perhaps if it has been a really bad day), perhaps ask for a small measure of Frideswide's Fantastical Fungal Formula. Frideswide is a local Herbalist, Spellcaster and Mushroom Farmer, and although she is constantly refining her formula so that no two batches ever have quite the same effect, you are guaranteed an experience you will not forget in a hurry.

Enjoy!

[Blackwolf]

Brilliant answer   

[Batty Coalhouse]

 

Bearwoodsman, I'd imagine an entrepreneurial Gnome could be organising gastronomic tours of Beechwood, Fungal Formulas optional.
I imagine that there is matching tasty food for these exciting sounding tipples. I can't wait for COVID to be vaccinated or vanquished and I would certainly consider a quiet weekend away, perhaps staying at the Maypole and Mushroom, assuming they do board. Does Fridewide have any COVID-conquering concoctions?

Thanks for the tips, I'll look out for Red Cap Cider at my local 

[Bearwoodman]

Batty Coalhouse, Frideswide does without doubt produce a wide and expanding selection of "medicinal" concoctions and is always looking for gullible humans on which to test them prior to declaring them safe for Gnomes (a process referred to as "large-scale trials"). 

If you come in peace, stand your round at the bar and make it a policy never to decline any refreshment offered you by the small lady Gnome with the twinkle in her eye and a not unpleasant aroma of mushrooms, you will, I am sure, be given a warm welcome in the Beechwood.

I think I had better move Frideswide up the painting queue so I can introduce her properly...

[Batty Coalhouse]

Now this is a different type of online dating 
Fridewide needs to move up the paint queue, for sure 

[Bearwoodman]

Here she is: Frideswide the Herbalist.


I envisaged a multicoloured patchwork cloak, but alas my skill was inadequate and I eventually settled for stripes.


She can name every herb, fungus, root and berry in the Beechwood and, most importantly, knows their properties. She can provide potent tea that boosts concentration and wards off tiredness - useful for the Gnomes maintaining a vigilant look out at the borders of the Beechwood...


...and when a shift is over she can supply a perfect blend of herbs for the pipe to aid relaxation and bring on a refreshing sleep.


Alas there are some wounds, perhaps caused by terrible creatures from beyond the boundaries of the Beechwood, for which even Frideswide has no cure [Warning: Gory and Unpleasant image].

[Bearwoodman]

Me and the children had a go today at some tiny canvases we had picked up at the Pound shop. I was not sure what to do at first, but when my daughter declared she was painting a portrait of a famous female Hogwarts student my thoughts turned to a less well known (and considerably shorter) potion maker...

Not a great likeness, with a melancholic air that is rather uncharacteristic, but the biggest question is how is she going to get it through her front door?