Five Leagues from the Borderlands - The Gentlemen of Much-Piddling

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

With an appropriate acknowledgement and thanks to Plynkes, for inspiring our beginning.

Contravivifications in Defnascir

The three of us had been together for some time now. I was reflecting on this, as the ferry Idolator made its way through the murky seas of the Back Passage, heading towards the island of Chunter. The weather had been kind to us, bad weather being the norm when sailing southerly through the Back Passage, from the Offal Ocean. The island of Dollop lay to the west, shrouded in mist. To the east, we could just make out a thin brown strip, which must be the main island of Chunter, in the Barony of Defnascir. Somewhere there I thought, must be our destination, the thriving market town of Fiddling-cum-Nicely.

A few years ago, the three of us (unknown to each other then) had been contracted by the Baron Saveloy de Chumsfanleigh (pronounced "de Chuffley"). The contract was to rid the Barony of Chalk of a serious outbreak of the Aranea Brassica or Cabbage Spider. This was not the normal household spider but a poisonous, ugly, spider. It would crouch in its spot glaring up at the world with a cluster of beady black eyes under a mop of itchy bristles. It looks excessively unattractive and it’s bite could kill a human. There were a few hairy moments, but we came through, mentally scarred, but physically unharmed.

We’d continued adventuring together, taking contracts here and there, fighting bandits, riding patrols, questing and delving and facing the rather unpleasant but familiar aspects of war, famine, pestilence and death. This had led to us responding to a plea from the island barony of Defnascir for sell-swords.

Defnascir’s ruler was the cruel and sadistic, Baron Piers de Gavescon and his consort, the Baroness Rennie de Gavescon. The peasantry were suffering from severe taxation and law and order had broken down, outside the towns and villages of this island barony. Sir Andrew Liversalts, the Baron’s chancellor had become a hated man amongst the islanders and was responsible for the harsh tax collection system in Defnascir.

On the ferry, we had met a Mystic. One Tiffany Aching or more properly, Tir-far-thóinn. By a strange coincidence, Tiffany hailed from the Chalk, which was how we got talking. She was heading to Defnascir for a change of scenery, she said. Not wishing to pry too deeply into her past, we accepted that at face value. After a few bottles of Red Duck had been shared between we four, it was agreed that Tiffany would accompany our party.

We four knew very little of Defnascir as we sailed towards the safety of the harbour at Fiddling-cum-Nicely. As usual, we were concentrating on the prospect of putting gold in our purses and to be honest, not much else.

We knew that the Barony’s main religion was the Temple of The Quivering Brethren, run by Archbishop Rhodomontade Quaver (who hasn’t heard of Rhodo Quaver?). An alternative religion, only just tolerated by the Baron and the Archbishop was Pastafarianism, whose adherents only eat pasta. There was of course, the banned religious sect, the Followers of the Rupture which had many adherents in the outer islands of the barony.

So, we knew we were heading into a land riven by strife, religious hatred and dispossessed malcontents. Our usual bill of fare! Just then, I heard the crew of the Idolator, preparing to guide us into the harbour. I went below to collect my sword and gear. A divertissement was brewing, were we ready?

To be continued...

[Plynkes]

Loving your map. It's much snazzier than mine. 

Looking forward to seeing how you get on.

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

Loving your map. It's much snazzier than mine. 

Looking forward to seeing how you get on.

Thanks. I have to admit that I got the map from the internet. I erased the existing names and then inserted my own, so a bit of a cheat, really. We are just in the character creation stage now.

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

These chaps will provide the pool of followers, from which we will use two initially. Best to prepare for casualties, I think! They are Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb, Flack and Trump.



These are some of Archbishop Rhodomontade Quaver's fanatical Quivering Brethren. Their mission, to travel the Barony, quivering threateningly at anybody who looks even remotely heretical. Note that Brother Maynard (second from right) has the The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch in his keeping.



The next job is to paint one of our threats, The Ruin Within, criminals and murderers, compelled
by a dark power.

The land crawls with those who would bring destruction and death for a few blood-stained coins or to sate the whims of their madness. As the Ruin takes hold, it spreads across the towns and communities like an invisible sickness, tainting all that it touches.

Adventurers and agents of the law notice that many outlaws often come to believe in the supernatural patron known as the Mistress of the Mist. Adherents believe she guides their steps and hides them from prying eyes, but she is said to demand payment in coin and blood for her services.

[Elk101]

It's so nice to have your entertaining threads on the Pulp Board manifest over here. I'm looking forward to it.

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

It's so nice to have your entertaining threads on the Pulp Board manifest over here. I'm looking forward to it.

That's very kind of you to say so, thanks. The Gentlemen of Much-Piddling always endeavour to give satisfaction!

[Michi]

I am fetching myself a bag of crisps and a can of cider and get comfortable in time for the untold story to unfold... 

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

I am fetching myself a bag of crisps and a can of cider and get comfortable in time for the untold story to unfold... 

I reckon you'll need more than one can of the falling-down juice for this epic, old boy!

[Doug ex-em4]

I must say our followers are a fine looking bunch. Hopefully we Heroes will look as formidable. I think we’ll have to be looking our most ferocious if we’re going to withstand any serious quivering.

Doug

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

I must say our followers are a fine looking bunch. Hopefully we Heroes will look as formidable. I think we’ll have to be looking our most ferocious if we’re going to withstand any serious quivering.

Doug

We are going to have to do a bit of practice in the mirror, making ferocious faces!

In view of the senility maturity of the party, I have elected to keep a campaign diary, so we do not forget our escapades.

[Pattus Magnus]

The book pages for the campaign diary look great! Is that a product from somewhere, or did you create that yourself? The initial logbook entries are great and I am definitely looking forward to updates!

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

The book pages for the campaign diary look great! Is that a product from somewhere, or did you create that yourself? The initial logbook entries are great and I am definitely looking forward to updates!

Many thanks, Pattus Magnus. The book is just a picture with blank pages. I used MS Publisher to add the text boxes and the ink and coffee stains.

[Michi]

Make sure to get a proper iconograph from somewhere. We need graphic documentations of your efforts - there are not many among us who can read the runes you scribble into the parchment...

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

Make sure to get a proper iconograph from somewhere. We need graphic documentations of your efforts - there are not many among us who can read the runes you scribble into the parchment...

Good point, Michi. I have my eye on this one coming up at auction, but we are a little short on gold marks presently.   

[Plisken]

What a splendid pool of followers you have there. I adore how they all have torches.