Puerility alert: Botswanian travel report

[Hammers]

The kid in me giggled appreciatively to this Lady's account of meeting a elephant bull:

A majestic elephant bull walked directly in front of me, then paused to browse. Slowly he turned until all I could see was his rounded rump.

Then he farted, a booming, thunderous phluuut that almost blasted me from my hammock. As I watched, his rear aperture enlarged and from it emerged a great, steaming, never-ending golden-brown turd. Then another ... and yet another.

I was mesmerised.

Bearing in mind that you are what you eat and considering that an average elephant consumes 300kg of food a day, it was not surprising that this mound of pachyderm excrement was a big time production in every sense of the word.

But that flatulence, could it really have been as loud as I imagined? Yes, because when the final dropping parted ways with its maker, he farted again, a cracking, loud, proud phluuut causing a flock of red-billed francolin to scatter.

What a lad, I thought to myself. Then, as if to prove the point, his reproductive organ began to grow until it almost reached the ground.

So close was he that through my binoculars I could only see a small section of him at a time. His creased, wrinkled skin with its sparse, bristly hairs, his hazel eyes, his long eyelashes, the clump of hairs poking from his ear orifices, visible as he flapped his great ears.

His stomach rumbled, then, flatulating explosively, he walked towards the waterhole to join three other bulls. Who, as is only right for might, gave way to this giant among elephants.

I leapt from the hammock and wrote in my notebook: "Almost deafened by a flatulent elephant."

[OSHIROmodels]

     Fantastic, it puts a whole new perspective on the most majestic of African animals   

cheers

James

[answer_is_42]

Interesting...
Where is that from?

[Hammers]

Interesting...
Where is that from?

Odd story: Being Swedish First Language I now and then need to look up a English word or two. There is a chain of Asian restaurants in Stockholm called 'Pong'. I had an notion this was, from a English speaking perspective, not an ideal name for a food establishment so I googled it. This article by a lady traveller in Botswana confirmed my notion pretty well, don't you agree? 

(I am especially attached to the "What a lad!" comment.)

[Plynkes]

You are certainly correct about "Pong", Hammers.

Once upon a time in Egypt I was on a Nile steamer and met a Chinese girl by the name of Pong Mei. An older Scottish lady who happened to share the same dining table as Pong and myself had such an aversion to the negative connotations of the word in English, that upon meeting the girl immediately announced that "We can't possibly call you that. Do you mind if we call you May?"

This I thought was the height of Colonial-style insensitive rudeness. I had to look at my pocket watch to check that it was 1997 rather than 1897. Fucking bitch.


(And yes, I do live in an Agatha Christie novel, and may well be the murderer.  )

[former user]

so, gardening is Your profession? 

How can be someone be so fascinated with an elefant bull crapping.... (I refer to the travelling lady)
I for my part would hardly lie relaxed in a hammock if an elefant bull was that close that I could hear it fart...
apart from experiencing an interesting encounter myself there are a lot of true stories about how dangerous these animals are...

[Hammers]

so, gardening is Your profession? 

How can be someone be so fascinated with an elefant bull crapping.... (I refer to the travelling lady)
I for my part would hardly lie relaxed in a hammock if an elefant bull was that close that I could hear it fart...
apart from experiencing an interesting encounter myself there are a lot of true stories about how dangerous these animals are...

I don't think she was relaxing in it. From her account it seems she was all but blasted out of it. While enjoying it, my inner amateur Freudian tells me, in what seems to be a rather suppressed sexual way.

[commissarmoody]

Yeah she has a poo fetish