STOP PRESS! BRITISH FORCES DEFEATED AT HORSELL COMMON!!!
The Illustrated London News has recieved a lengthy report from our correspondent in Woking, Mr H G Wells.
Following a violent and bloody battle on Horsell Common British forces are currently retreating towards London.
The battle was centered on the fortified Maybury Inn which was quickly occupied by a clinical and swift Prussian advance under the command of Baron Von Crumb. Due to an outrageous act of sabotage the main bridge linking Woking to Horsell Common was destroyed. As an unfortunate result British deployment on the common was slow and piecemeal. With the advantage of cover and an impressive killing field Prussian lead wreaked havoc in the British ranks. In addition the superiority of Prussian armour showed its worth and dominated its British counterparts. Despite the heroic efforts of Major Farquar Farquarson and his men the British position soon became untenable and a retreat was ordered. Casualties were high on both sides and there is no doubt many medals, some of them posthumous, will be awarded. The following plates, exclusive to the Illustrated London News, have been printed:
Horsell Common on the day of the battle, seen from the British positions. In the foreground is Addlestone Farm, in the centre can be seen the fortified Maybury Inn and in the background is Horsell House:
Prussian naval contingents supported by a steam tank quickly advance towards the Maybury Inn:
Two Prussain Klaue Maschines, specifically designed to tear armour from its rivets, also advance:
The Prussian naval contingent quickly occupies the Maybury Inn. Failing to defend it with their lives the Woking Sabbath Tiddlywinkers flee. However Colour Sergeant (retired) Obadiah Heap and his faithful wife decide to stay and quickly set about annoying the Prussians:
Prussian reinforcements in the shape of the feared Elite-Truppen arrive:
At last the British appear on the field of battle. Here we see detatchments of the Surreys and the Shropshire Buffs supported by a Lowen steam tank:
The experimental impervious suits of the Grenadier Guards also arrive. Under the command of Roger Boyes thy use the cover of Horsell House to fire on the Prussians with their lightning guns:
The British naval contingent also arrives with their walker and immediately heads for the Prussians:
Under constant fire British forces use what cover they can to advance on the Maybury Inn:
A thunderous explosion rips across the battlefield as a Prussian steam tank rams Guardsman Charles Widdles' impervious suit. Widdle, mortally wounded, lit his last roll-up which immediately ignited fumes from a ruptured fuel tank. Both tank and impervious suit were vapourised:
See Part 2 for the finale of the battle.
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