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Author Topic: Oldhammer In Moria: The Battle of Hollin Gate  (Read 98677 times)

Offline Mars Miniatures

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Oldhammer In Moria: Bugbears Dont Wear Pants
« Reply #510 on: June 17, 2022, 08:27:55 PM »
From blog post here: https://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2022/06/bugbears-dont-wear-pants.html

Bugbears Dont Wear Pants should be the name of a punk/bardcore/dungeon-synth band. :p

Dogs and cats are cute in sweaters, but inwardly they hate your human-centric foibles. But seriously, Bugbears dont like pants. Need proof? Feast your eyes on these pics, if you dare. Warning NSFW!

Bugbears are just big hairy goblins that like to bushwhack their victims.

A pack of stampeding Bugbears without pants is a sight to behold!

Bugbear 1: Want to play?

Bugbear 2: Play what?

Bugbear 1: Play with deez nuts!

Bugbear 1: Yesterday I sat on my testicles by accident.

Bugbear 2: That must have hurt.

Bugbear 1: Yeah it was nuts.



 Who knew Bugbears had social media?

Ok enough nutsacks. We return you to your dreary normal human existence. With pants. For some, perhaps, that train has sailed and the world will forever have been changed for you. My condolences.

"This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express and Im talkin to whoever's listening out there. Im a reasonable guy but Ive just experienced some unreasonable things."


Offline Mars Miniatures

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Oldhammer In Moria: The Battle Of Rhun Wald
« Reply #511 on: June 27, 2022, 04:06:26 AM »
Taken from blog post here: https://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2022/06/the-battle-of-rhun-wald.html

The Battle of Rhun Wald

 Welcome to the battle report of Rhun Wald.

The ambassador/heroes from Cathay and Nippon have just passed the Sea of Rhun and entered the boundaries of the West. The settlements along the Rhun seem to be filled with settlers from Gondor, Rohan, Esgaroth-ians aka Lake-Towners, and even Hobbits! Gentrification has really been driving up rent in this area! Starbucks and Peets on the shore front high-streets of the Sea of Rhun, who'd've thunk?  The heroes wonder where the old school Easterlings - the Balchoth, Wainriders, and warriors of Khand are these days. They see a knight of Gondor who seems to have been expecting them...

They are greeted by Sir Fenring, of House Fenring, a vassal House serving under House Corrino. Fenring fills in current events about the Near Easterlings. This time of year, the warriors of Khand are off campaigning with the Hyrkanians in Astapor and Qarth. The Balchoth struck oil in their desert lands and have built the tallest wizarding tower in all of Middle Earth. Wainriders have gone into business with the East Rhovanion Trading Company, running caravans from the Grey Havens to their HQ at the Carrock and all the way to Old Valyria.

Left to Right: Priest Asura, Lady Snow Blossom, Iron Dragon, Sir Fenring of Minas Tirith

Sir Fenring: Welcome, my Lords and Lady of the East. I  have been tasked by the White Tower to bring you to Minas Tirith. At my command we have foot knights from Gondor and archers from Rohan to ensure our safe travels.

Iron Dragon: *bows* Many thanks, we are honored.

Priest Asura: We pray for a peaceful passage.

Lady Blossom: Peaceful? No thank you. An entertaining little battle would be nice. Nothing but sacred rivers, hidden libraries, ancient museums, and no offense Priest Asura... holy temples. Its been a long boring trip.

Priest Asura: *gasp*

Lady Blossom: I don't know why you always have to be judging me, because I only believe in science!

Priest Asura: *places a bowl of holy water in front of Lady Blossom and dunks her face into it*

Sir Fenring: You may get your wish, my Lady. We are close to Mordor and dark powers have risen once again within its borders. We must be on guard.

Iron Dragon: May sleeping Ogres slumber on our journey. Lead on, Sir Knight.

Knight of Gondor: Hey there, buddy. Whose a good boy? You are. You are....

Archer of Rohan: These are weird creatures. And Ive seen Oliphants before.

The Western entourage is made up of plastic Perry Twins 100YW miniatures.

Sir Fenring: Hold! Did you hear that? I smell a trap. Form square!



The House of Red Dragons is a delegation of Easterlings who have been sent on a diplomatic mission to make peace with the West in a post-Sauron world. The delegation is met with an allied western force of Gondor foot knights & Rohan archers led by Sir Fenring. As they pass a wooded area near the Sea of Rhun, they are ambushed by forces from Mordor. The villains have been ordered to stop any alliance between East and West.

Board Setup
Table size is 22" x 30". The hero player must place an 8" circular hill within 12" of the center of the board. Then the monster player can place two 6" clusters of terrain - trees, rocks. Each cluster of terrain must be at least 4" away from any other piece of terrain.

The hero player chooses which long edge to deploy from. All figures must be within 3" of the long edge and not closer than 8" from the shorter edges. The hero player deploys first with the 5 eastern delegates, Sir Fenring (on horseback), 10 human knights & 10 human archers. Once deployed, the monster player deploys half his force on the opposite 30" edge. The other half may be deployed along either of the 22" edges. The monster forces are Murkillor the Wraith, Calibog the Troll, Nyxa the Basilisk, 3 Wights and 10 Bugbears.

Victory Conditions
- The Villains immediately win if Iron Monkey, Lady Snowblood, and Asura the Priest are all slain or rout off board.
- The Heroes immediately win if Murkillor, Calibog, and Nyxa are slain or rout off board.
- At the game's end (6 turns with variable end turn rolls thereafter), the side that caused the most damage to the oppossing 3 main named heroes/villains wins.

The left formation.

Sir Fenring: Something stirs beyond the hill, I think.

The right formation.

Iron Dragon: Yes, beyond the hill are powerful enemies. But nearer at hand is the closer danger.

From the left side, a Wight and Bugbears seemingly spring from out of nowhere.

Not only do those Bugbears appear on the flanks, but they gain an extra move even before the game starts because of their Bushwhacker ability.

Then on the right, another Wight and more Bugbears! Its a trap!

And behind the hill, the main force of the enemy. Another Wight but even worse... a Wraith! And not just any wraith... its Murkillor! Wights in my game cause Fear, but also can Curse an enemy which gives them a -1 to its rolls to hit, to save, and to cast. But Wraiths have direct damage spells like Siphon which causes damage but also heals its caster. Wraiths can also cast Sleep. Wraiths are also deadlier in close combat and have Armor Piercing.

Murkillor the Wraith: Now we will show these Far Easterlings that no one quits the Mordor party!

Nyxa the Basilisk: Rahr...

Calibog the Marsh Troll: Garrr...

Murkillor: Feeding time is here, my pretties!


For the rest of the battle see here: https://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2022/06/the-battle-of-rhun-wald.html


Offline LordOdo

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Re: Oldhammer In Moria: The Battle Of Rhun Wald
« Reply #512 on: June 28, 2022, 01:57:11 PM »
Great battle and nice to see the recent additions (and the new team!) in battle right away!

Poor Murkillor though, I hope he will see some kind of victory soon, as he is pretty much the mascotte of your world(s) now!
''Its so much easier to build something new than work up the courage to actually paint some.'' -Wyrmalla (2015)

Offline Mars Miniatures

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Re: Oldhammer In Moria: The Battle Of Rhun Wald
« Reply #513 on: July 04, 2022, 12:51:21 AM »
@Lord Odo,  Murkillor will have his day in the sun. Or moon. Speaking of new worlds. I have a new blog project here - Interitus. https://interitus-dii-inferi.blogspot.com/ Hope you like that one too! Its darker and less humorous.  Oh and on this blog, we will be seeing the big battle of Moria with Tuddle and Mortimer and those Cthulhic nasties coming in a week or so. That promises to be a death filled event.


Offline Mars Miniatures

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Oldhammer In Moria: Turnips the Hobbit Witch & Hagglethorne House
« Reply #514 on: July 17, 2022, 01:20:04 AM »
Taken from post here: https://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2022/07/turnips-hobbit-witch-hagglethorne-house.html

Turnips the Hobbit Witch & Hagglethorne House

In this post, we have a Hagglethorn House, a Hobbit Witch in a flying caldron with an "aviation goggle wearing" pig, and some Hobbit Militia with slings. Things you do dont see everyday...

  The Brownlands should be called the Greenlands now due to its flowering under the green and caring thumbs of both Entwives and Hobbits. They haved lived in peace, harmony, and safety.

Turnips the Hobbit Witch and Gus the Pig familiar

Turnips is a Hobbit Witch and the guardian of the Brownlands which has become a Hobbit and Dryad-Entwife settlement. The twin villages of the area are Bougainvillea (an Entwife farm/garden) and Knackerton (a Hobbit pipeweed dispenary/outpost).

Turnips and her pet pig Gus usually ride around in a magically levitating cauldron. When not being used as a vehicle, the cauldron serves double duty for brewing potions then making dinner (usually Hassenpfeffer stew with taters).

Hobbit Scout: Fear! Fire! Foe!

Turnips the Witch: What is it now? Let me guess. Wild pigs in the Gaffer's garden? Or the Entwives need rain on Tuesday again?

Hobbit Scout: No, Miss Turnips. Orcs! They're on their way here! And lots of them! They have overrun Bougainvillea. The Dryads have been taked captive!

Turnips the Witch: Sound the townhall bell! Call the militia to arms! Barricade the streets with pipeweed barrels. *looks at her pet pig* Cmon Gus, we need to send owls and ravens to Minas Tirith and East Bight. That is, if they survived the Chaos incursion there (see Battle of East Bight: http://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2021/11/town-defense-of-east-bight-battle.html).

Hobbit Scout: There is like an 8% chance, that the defenders of East Bight survived.

Turnips the Witch: 8? Who taught you math!

The Hobbit Militia of the Brownlands are rangers, hunters, skirmishers and mushroom foragers without peer. They carry slings and turn any rocks in the area into missile weapons. These miniatures are plastic figures from Wargames Atlantic.

*clamor of bell and sounding of horns*

Hobbit Militia:  Yavanna defend our homes! O mighty Valar save us from our enemies!

The Hagglethorne house is sculpted by a guy who works for WETA Workshop - the company who made the props for Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings movies.

 I think their architecture here looks like it also fits in the world of Labyrinth or a pre-Skeksis Dark Crystal (like a Pod people tavern?)


Is everyone hurt? Is anyone okay?

If you read the East Bight AAR and the ending fluff, then you already know what happened to Witch Turnips, the Hobbit Militia, and the Entwives. They were defeated and put into prison camps. But fear not! Or I dunno, maybe be a little fearful for them. So, the defenders of East Bight hired a mercenary band known as the Rogues of Rhun and were victorious over the Chaos warriors. And they are on their way to liberate Witch Turnips and the rest of the prison camp-ers! The Battle of the Brownlands Prison Camp Battle Report is coming soon-ish. (well after the Moria Hollin-Gate Cthulhic Adventure which btw is sure to end in some tragic doom and certain woe!)


Offline Belgian

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Re: Oldhammer In Moria: Turnips the Hobbit Witch & Hagglethorne House
« Reply #515 on: July 19, 2022, 08:27:49 PM »
Great thread, nice to see such a variety of nice miniatures.
Wargame News and Terrain Blog, daily updated with the latest wargame news

Interested click https://wargameterrain.blogspot.com/

Offline LordOdo

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Re: Oldhammer In Moria: Turnips the Hobbit Witch & Hagglethorne House
« Reply #516 on: July 21, 2022, 11:27:40 AM »
I read the East Bight AAR and the ending fluff, and there it says the hobbit and dryads were overrun by Snakewomen...
However, the Brownlands are attacked by orcs this time.. Will there be an alliance of doom heading towards the Brownlands? :o :o

Offline Mars Miniatures

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Re: Oldhammer In Moria: Turnips the Hobbit Witch & Hagglethorne House
« Reply #517 on: July 26, 2022, 11:49:12 PM »
@Belgian, Thanks buddy!

@LordOdo, Oh you eagle-eyed reader! You got me there. Well, I think you're right. It was indeed an orc force led by some medusas. But who knows who will be guarding the prison camp now? Could be orcs, snakes, or.... hippos? ;p just kidding! But someday, hippo-men will make their debut on the blog.

« Last Edit: July 26, 2022, 11:55:27 PM by Mars Miniatures »

Offline Mars Miniatures

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Oldhammer In Moria: Cabin In the Woods of the Evil Dead
« Reply #518 on: July 26, 2022, 11:54:43 PM »
Taken from post here: https://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2022/07/cabin-in-woods-of-evil-dead.html

Cabin In The Woods Of The Evil Dead

This is Professor Raymond Knowby, Department of Ancient History, log entry number two. I believe I have made a significant find in the Castle of Candar. Having journeyed there with my wife Henrietta, my daughter Annie and Associate Professor Ed Getly. It was in the rear chamber of the castle that we stumbled upon something remarkable.

Morturom Demonto, the "Book of the Dead". My wife and I brought the book to this cabin where I could study it undisturbed. It was here that I began the translations. The book speaks of a spiritual presence. A thing of evil that roams the forests and the dark bowers of man's domain. It is through the recitation of the book's passages that this dark spirit is given license to possess the living. Included here are the phonetic pronunciations of those passages. "Cunda astratta montose eargrets gutt nos veratoos canda amantos canda".


Take a vacation. Get away from it all. Turn off the noggin and get some grogging they said.

 Who doesnt love a creepy old cabin in the haunted desolate woods? They were wrong. Dead wrong. Never sleep in a cursed cabin down by the river. Or forest.

The travel agent who booked you this spot was probably a Dead-ite. Or of Candarian descent!

Whatever you do, do not turn on the audio reel recorder where the old professor is reading passages from the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis - The Book of the Dead. Oh you already did?

Well, I guess you might as well listen to the rest of it...

It's only been a few hours since I've translated and spoken aloud the first of the demon resurrection passages from the Book of the Dead. And now I fear that my wife has become host to a Candarian Demon. May God forgive me for what I have unleashed unto this earth. Last night Henrietta tried to... kill me.

It's now October 1st, 4:33 PM. Henrietta is dead. I could not bring myself to dismember her corpse. But I dragged her down the steps... and I buried her. I buried her in the cellar. God help me, I buried her in the earthen floor of the fruit cellar.

Left to Right: Prince Arioch, Balthazar the Blue, Adeline

Some unfortunate adventurers have stumbled upon the cabin in the woods.

Prince Arioch: I told you we should have made a left at Albuquerque!

Balthazar the Blue: Well being as there's no other place around this place, I reckon this must be the place. Where is the rest of our adventuring party?

Adeline: They are still back at our last campsite... re-speccing their talent trees again. *sigh*

Balthazar the Blue: Ah, well... anyway lets inspect the area. Let's split up and scout the area. I get a feeling there are important clues to be found in this place!

Balthazar finds a clue all right. Or rather a riddle. What's full of tentacles and hungry maws. Its a Dark Young of Shub-Niggurath!

Potent Potables, Colors That End In "urple", An Album Cover. Sean Connery its still your board.

Balthazar the Blue: I'll take An Album Cover for 5,000

(bonus points to the readers who indeed know the answer to "colors that end in 'urple")

Adeline: I remember this game! I need to find two mirrors and put them on the statues, right? 

(extra bonus points to the readers who know the name of this old PC game that Adeline is referencing)

Prince Arioch: Ermahgerd berber Herperpertermerse!

(extra special bonus points to the reader who knew the pics that accompany this old meme. Before you googled it!)

Balthazar the Blue: Ok, we need a plan. Let me think... whats a good strategy?

Prince Arioch: I got one. If I have to die, Im gonna die last!

Adeline: He's not talking to you hammerhead.

Balthazar the Blue: We need time area. Backstage good. We do it! Razzle Dazzle!

Adeline: -.-


Oh, I forgot to mention the cabin is from Printable Scenery  printablescenery.com

Oh, and did you notice my new forest background? Its pretty spot on, for the cabin's background, if I say so myself!


« Last Edit: July 27, 2022, 12:01:50 AM by Mars Miniatures »

Offline Belgian

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Re: Oldhammer In Moria: Cabin In the Woods of the Evil Dead
« Reply #519 on: July 30, 2022, 07:24:20 PM »
Very nice Mar!

Offline Mars Miniatures

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Oldhammer In Moria: The Battle of Hollin Gate
« Reply #520 on: August 11, 2022, 02:09:34 AM »
See full post here: https://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-battle-of-hollin-gate-part-1.html

The Battle of Hollin Gate, Part 1

 Welcome to the battle report for Hollin Gate. Wherein our heroes have taken upon themselves the task of saving Middle Earth from an otherworldly invasion - this time from within Moria itself! The ancient dwarven kingdom has become a portal into the "Upside Down" dimension. A dark place where certain doom and probable woe is certain to befall our heroes. And this time the Dark Powers may get away with it with no meddling kids on BMX bikes to stand in their way.

The Fellowship must defeat the Chaos Warriors, Beastmen and the Mythos creatures that were summoned from the gate. Tuddle the Hobbit reads a passage from the Book of Pickles that the Gate of Hollin was built by the dwarves with two special pillars on either side of it, that when destroyed will bring down the mountainside to bury and block the gate in time of war. The Fellowship and their Azer allies must destroy the pillars and save Middle Earth from an extra-dimensional tentacle filled invasion! Tuddle also finds that his lucky charm - Clam Shell of the Grey Havens is making a curious sound when held up to his ear... like soothing distant waves of happier times. Poppy says: Cthulhic-creatures are arriving from the dark beyond, Tuddle! This is no time for calm introspection!

 Left to Right: Lord Mysterion, Lord Obscuro

Voice from beyond the Dark Door: Whom do you serve?

Lord Mysterion:*bows low*  I live for Chaos!~

Lord Obscuro: *kneels* What is thy bidding, my master?

Voice from beyond the Dark Door: Bring me forth into your world, that I may tip the scales of balance in favor of glorious Chaos.

Lord Mysterion: What of the reports of the rebel fleet massing near Sollust?

Voice from beyond the Dark Door: It is of no concern. Soon the Rebellion will be crushed and young Tuddle will be one of us. Your work here is finished, my friends. Go out to the command ship and await my orders.

Both Chaos Lords: Thy will be done, master...

For the full story with all its glory and tragedy, see the blog with all 3 parts: https://mars-miniatures.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-battle-of-hollin-gate-part-1.html


Offline LordOdo

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Re: Oldhammer In Moria: The Battle of Hollin Gate
« Reply #521 on: August 12, 2022, 04:25:48 PM »
Ouch, that was quite a defeat, and I don't think we have ever seen that much hero casualties before on your blog.
Still, seeing that there are certain ancient elves still in ME, I don't think the evil guys have won yet.


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