Seriously thinking about packing it all in

[Steve63]

I turn 53 next month, I have collected toy soldiers ever since I can remember, I have painted toy soldiers for around 45 years and played "proper" wargames for around 35 years. 
3 years ago my Mum died and at the time I reflected on my life, one of the things I spent quite some time pondering was my hobby.  I didn't have a happy childhood, but I do remember the toys and "Sitting quiet and playing like a nice boy".  At the time I thought about chucking it all, but I justified continuing with "what else I am I going to do a couple of evenings a week and a Sunday morning" so I continued.
I haven't played miniature games for around 5 years although I do occasionally play board games and I haven't missed playing at all.  Recently I painted 40 or so Napoleonic miniatures for some skirmish games and while I must admit I enjoyed the challenge of painting up both sides for the game in a pretty tight schedule , the actual event, the game left me flat.  To be honest probably all of the games I've played for the last 20 years or so have been disappointing, the exception was GdB which is hardly a "pick up" game and I would need to paint another 600 or so Napoleonic figures on the off chance I could find an opponent.
Today I had a few hours in the house alone and the old habit kicked in and I got the paints out, I've finished with Napoleon for the time being because it's turned into a solo project.  I was let down by other people and on a personal note ran out of white primer, so with the local GW and the FLGS closed down I couldn't just pop out and pick some up, so I restarted painting the Kislevites.  Which got me thinking what's the point? I have some vague idea about taking an army to BOYL next year but, while I'm sure the guys who'll be there are all good blokes I don't know anyone, so it's not like I'll be missed.
As well as the above, gaming has seems to have changed dramatically since I started, while there are still a few old duffers like me who like to push lead around, most of the under 40's have little or no interest in planning a game 6 months to a year ahead, laying out several hundred pounds on figures, spending months painting them only to be disappointed by the chosen rule set.  They like the quick fix, board games or pre-paints like X-Wing.  The forums I visit which have given me my fix for the last 10-15 years are not as vibrant as they used to be, and what there is (sorry chaps) skirmish games and pictures of unpainted plastic "conversions" really doesn't interest me.
I'm probably just thinking out loud here, but I'll finish off the 5 Kislevites tomorrow morning and then I don't Know.
Thanks for your time
Cheers

[Steve63]

Life is usually far shorter and a bit more shit than we would like.Do what you need to do in terms of gleaning as much joy out of the deal as possible.

Thanks

[Oldben1]

When I checked your blog I was impressed by all the wonderfully painted miniatures.  Why not sell some and concentrate on your favorites?  You can also do some commission work for some variety, or even try painting up some of the minis from cool board games.  You could even take a break.  Try something new for a while and come back to it.  It's not like the minis won't be there when you come back.

Good Luck!

[LeadAsbestos]

Steve, I think your painting is genius, and I'd be sorry to see you go. Sea People, Hittites, all those lovely chariots... Really inspirational!

That said, I just had a revelation of my own about my hobby, and the direction it has taken, so things have radically changed here, and I feel all the better for it. The hobby has been actually giving me pleasure for the first time in many years, and all it required was a step back to see what had gone wrong, and what was missing.

Maybe you can take a little time off, see if you miss any part of it, and then come back with a vengeance.

[Elbows]

I think about it frequently myself, so I fully understand.  I don't game nearly enough to justify the majority of what I've collected/painted.  I get just as much joy out of a good boardgame with my brother (a non-gamer) than I do most of my big games.  It's why I've been keeping to a handful of projects.  I can see myself dumping the miniatures in 10-15 years time if I don't have anyone to game with.

My budget is always decreasing (I seem to be rolling terribly backwards in life) and if it weren't for having extra storage available I wouldn't have space for some of the stuff I do have.  I will say that I normally do enjoy the games I play though - so that's a plus.  I often get a good game and think "this is why I do it!".  I can see myself slowing down immensely though, once I have a couple of projects finished.

Don't worry, many of us are there.  I think from reading your post the key thing is friends who want to game the same way you do (and equally importantly - finding good rules).

[rebelyell2006]

I have that thought all the time.  But I have that for all of my hobbies.  If it bothers you, just take a break for a few years.  Find other hobbies.  Watch some movies.  Visit some national parks and museums.  Let your mind wander and find new inspirations; sell what does not interest you and use that to start your new interests.  Find new clubs and associations to join.  Volunteer with non-profits and museums.  I have an overwhelming desire to buy a Spanish-American War uniform, but I'll probably mitigate that by buying some relevant minis next year.

As well as the above, gaming has seems to have changed dramatically since I started, while there are still a few old duffers like me who like to push lead around, most of the under 40's have little or no interest in planning a game 6 months to a year ahead, laying out several hundred pounds on figures, spending months painting them only to be disappointed by the chosen rule set.  They like the quick fix, board games or pre-paints like X-Wing.  The forums I visit which have given me my fix for the last 10-15 years are not as vibrant as they used to be, and what there is (sorry chaps) skirmish games and pictures of unpainted plastic "conversions" really doesn't interest me.

That sounds a bit like my view of living history, particularly for the American Civil War and the Frontier army.  Especially since my artillery group consists mostly of pensioners, while I am young enough to be their grandson.  What really helps is the fact that there is a National Park 30 minutes from my house, where the full-time rangers will put on uniforms and do demonstrations for visitors.  They welcome volunteers, so I can do living history activities with people my age (and as fellow museum workers, people in my industry) instead of being the kid of the company.  And the National Park Service helps out for some expenses, so I do not have to blow my budget to fill gaps in my kit, and I don't have to buy black powder in 25-pound increments and pay HAZMAT fees as the park rangers provide cartridges and muskets for infantry portrayals (especially great, so I don't have to clean my own Enfield, but use the smoothbore reproductions in NPS inventory).  Perhaps you can find new social circles?

Perhaps you can collaborate with fellow "old duffers" to modify the rules to fit your expectations?  Home Rules are the hallmark of our hobby, whether it means ignoring a specific rule or completely re-writing a system?  The hobby is entirely about creating enjoyable experiences, so just change things to make them enjoyable for everybody involved.

[Gracchus Armisurplus]

It seems to me that it's more your chosen games systems than anything else that seem to be letting you down.

Why don't you like the rules that you don't like? And what do you like about the ones that you DO like?

When you say about under 40's not approaching the game from the same perspective you do...

...is it possible they've abandoned that style of wargaming because they found it as unfulfilling and efficient as you do? I mean, you're certainly not enjoying the way you're currently wargaming. So why not try something different? Kings of War historical is coming out soon, and Swordpoint from Studio Tomahawk (who have proven their chops with the SAGA rules set) and there's the established games like FoG and ADLG so there's plenty of scope for getting together with people for a game that DOESN'T take 6 months to arrange.

[grant]

I've had a particularly bad year, and sadly nearly packed it in both in terms of miniatures and reality.

Guess what? 3 months later, my life is full of joy and hope. I've replenished most of my depleted miniature mountain, and I'm happy doing things again.

My advice? Take a break, go on a long walk (I did 100km in Normandy) and then decide.

[Norm]

Steve, i think most gamers have barren patches, though reading between the lines, you do seem to be of low mood in your post and that is perhaps not the best time to make decisions on things such as getting rid of stuff - it will doubtless end in sellers regret and as you say you don't have a storage problem, so perhaps things can wait.

It does sound like you need to inject some fun into your gaming. I do think a natural result of getting older is that those 'heavy' rule systems we all used to love just start to feel harder and something faster, lighter and more abstract seems to become more desirable.

An extreme of this sort of thing is One Hour Wargames by Neil Thomas - his book has 9 sets of 2 page rules and 30 generic scenarios. all periods are covered. The rules are a bit too cut back for me, but it is easy to make some morale or command rules up and yesterday someone suggested using an average dice instead of a D6 for hits, so it is very undemanding. Likewise DBA3 for Ancients might help or DBN for napoleonics. These systems play in 3' x 3' or less and don't use many figures or terrain. But basically these sort of games can get you regularly pushing lead around, for a mid week or Sunday game.

I quite like solitaire play, though I do do some face to face gaming.

One thing I do strongly feel is that it is just far to easy to collapse every evening and browse the internet - what a time sink that is and it becomes habit, at the same time killing the creative habit of painting or gaming. I don't know your circumstances, but if there is an imbalance between computer use and 'doing things', that might be an area to work on first.

Either way I hope your hobby mojo picks up, but if not, that you find something that provides some meaningful 'treat time'.

[jambo1]

I dropped out of the hobby due to life for a very long time and only came back into it during  a serious interest that kept me off work for six months. I solo game and flit about from project to project with no set goals or aims it seems! My advice is much like the other guys, take a wee while out and take stock of where you are in life, you may well then be able to take a decision of carrying on or wrapping it completely. At the end of the day life is more important and how you feel about your life the most important of all. All the best in your decision and hopefully we will see you as your work is great.

[grant]

One thing I do strongly feel is that it is just far to easy to collapse every evening and browse the internet - what a time sink that is and it becomes habit, at the same time killing the creative habit of painting or gaming. I don't know your circumstances, but if there is an imbalance between computer use and 'doing things', that might be an area to work on first.

This is huge. It is far easier to browse the web and get excited about new toys and make instant purchases while last week's purchases and dream project piles up.

In fact, I'm going about it right now. I just looked at my Crooked Dice purchases. I don't even remember ordering half of them. Funny.

Time on the web is indeed poor time spent.

[Hobgoblin]

An extreme of this sort of thing is One Hour Wargames by Neil Thomas - his book has 9 sets of 2 page rules and 30 generic scenarios. all periods are covered. The rules are a bit too cut back for me, but it is easy to make some morale or command rules up and yesterday someone suggested using an average dice instead of a D6 for hits, so it is very undemanding. Likewise DBA3 for Ancients might help or DBN for napoleonics. These systems play in 3' x 3' or less and don't use many figures or terrain. But basically these sort of games can get you regularly pushing lead around, for a mid week or Sunday game.

I think that's excellent advice. I've been feeling positively evangelistic about Hordes of the Things (the fantasy version of DBA) recently. Why? Because of the extraordinary freedom for painting and modelling it affords - and the opportunity for looking at the lead pile in a new light.

HOTT and DBA use generic troop types (warband, blades, behemoth, shooters, magician, hero, spears, hordes, etc.). And an element - in game terms probably a unit of hundreds of troops - generally uses just three or four figures. There's no reason why any unit of a given type should look the same as another; you could have six warband elements, but each could consists of different creatures: gnolls, bugbears, orcs, ogres, lizardmen and trolls, for example. So it's a great way of using all the waifs and strays that have lingered in the lead pile for decades. This morning, with the kids under orders to tidy their quarters, I descended to the cellar and rummaged, in hope of finding suitable artillery, hero and magician elements. I now have an orcish bolthrower, a horse-mounted orc hero, a balrog and a lizard wizard with their bases just about sun-dried and ready for primer. And in the process I encountered a whole batch of Citadel Fantasy Tribe dwarfs - enough for four elements of blades. How to flesh out the rest of a "good" army? Well, I know there's an Ent (behemoth!) down there somewhere, and some eagles (flyers!). And I think I might have some ancient dwarf cannons or mortars (artillery!) and some halflings (lurkers? shooters? hordes?). And so on ...

So, if I were feeling jaded like the OP, I'd have a think about a couple of off-the-wall armies and then find some models in the leadpile that could conceivably fill them out, and then set about painting them up in a leisurely fashion - and entirely according to whim. Why not paint up a chaos army, but rather than follow the GW schema (Nurgle, Khorne, etc.), go to the source and do a Moorcockian horde of shambling degenerates and monstrosities, with whatever hellish liveries you see fit? Or combine human warrior, monsters and undead as the forces of an evil wizard, and then find some suitable figures for an opposing army? With DBA/HOTT, each element can be a command group, so you can go to town with elaborate banners. And when you've finished (maybe 40-50 figures for each force), you've got a pair of armies with which to entice opponents or even play solo. ]

On top of that, it's a project that can be expanded in increments. Once you've got a couple of armies, you can add some options to one (perhaps those evil barbarians have enslaved some goblin hordes ...) before expanding those options into whole new armies. You can do this in small increments - an element at a time, even.

And, as Normsmith says, you've got the advantages of working with excellent rules that don't take up much space or need much terrain.

Anyway, best of luck with it all!

[Vanvlak]

I miss gaming, and have practically given it up - in part because my free time is not excessive, in part because I'm out of touch with the very small local scene. And yet I kept buying stuff and even new games.
On the darker days I panic about storage of unpainted models, then of painted models. We have space in the house, but the cellar, which was intended as gaming space in part, proved too damp, so that didn't work out. Although I love making scena proper large surface, I sometimes get into a bleak mood when I start thinking I'll never have enough room for a proper board (by the way, I also like model railways, and that's even more problematic), and I'll possibly not resume gaming, so why not just ditch everything?
I haven't because I enjoy painting and building models, and although I have the odd hiatus (which probably helps) I usually get back to the fun. Having a varied collection is both a curse and a blessing, and I'm learning to think of it as the latter as it gives me the opportunity to change genres when I get bored.
And on those VERY darkest of nights when I wake up at three fretting over a million and one problems, models have regularly come to the rescue - planning a force, designing a bit of scenery, concocting a new colour scheme etc. It's worked wonders, and the cons (real or imagined) outweight the pros, and I'm hanging on to the hobby.
That's me of course, doesn't mean all or any of this applies to you; but I guess it's worth adding as a thought.
Best of luck,
John

[Inkpaduta]

A hobby should be something that brings you pleasure and you enjoy doing.
It seems this has not been the case for you lately. Perhaps it is time to move on and find
something new that you can better appreciate.
or perhaps change your focus when it comes to gaming. I used to love doing battles and I would
buy and paint both sides. Now, at 58, I don't want to do that anymore. I am finding new areas
of the hobby that I enjoy where I don't spend as much time and money in order to have fun.

[Daeothar]

For years, I've planned and painted my armies and projects without having anyone to game with, but it was my creative outlet and I was happy finishing miniatures, even though I just knew the chances of them seeing an actual game were slimmer than Twiggy.

However; I've always enjoyed creating (sculpting, converting and painting) a lot more than the actual gaming, so that was no issue for me at all.

Only about 10 or so years ago, did I finally run into some local gamers who became friends and we've played at least two games a month since then (the aim is weekly but that is exceedingly rare these days due to real life), even though I still do not mind at all when a game is cancelled, as I will then have a chance to turn inwards and convert and paint just by myself for an evening again.

I find that that's where my real love lies, and not the gaming. For me, the games are simply a justification to paint, instead of painting being a chore to be finished before playing a game.

It's all a matter of perspective really. Take a step back and look at what it is you really enjoy about this hobby: do you really like painting, or is it something perpetuated from your youth, until it became a habit? Was painting what you really liked when you were a kid, or was it a way of avoiding trouble?

And then; do you really like the gaming aspect? It seems like you've burned out on the way you used to play games, so maybe it's time to evaluate whether or not you still like your old systems, or that maybe you would be better off leaving those behind and start looking at a new and possibly better suited system, that people near you (would) actually play?

Or maybe you will discover that you really don't like gaming at all? Then just take pleasure in your painting, even though there is no outward justification for it. Heck; what is the justification for all those model kit builders eh? They don't need one; they just build and paint because they like it. So why couldn't you?

It's only when you've stepped back and asked yourself those questions (and answered them truthfully), and the answer is no to both (no; I don't like gaming and no; I don't like painting either) that you should consider walking away (but don't sell everything off just yet; safely store everything out of sight). At least for a couple of years. Maybe after that time, you'll be in a different place, and you'll find that you can actually enjoy your old hobby again.

And remember; you're not the only one to start having doubts about the hobby due to changes in real life. It's only normal, as far as I can tell from many such threads here on LAF

Best of luck...