Lead Adventure Forum
Miniatures Adventure => Pulp => Topic started by: Doug ex-em4 on December 23, 2021, 06:34:12 PM
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Following the eruption of civil war after the abdication of Edward VIII, the notorious Archer family of Ambridge has used the subsequent turmoil to extend and increase its violent criminal activities. Operating from its ramshackle stronghold, the clan has extended its depredations beyond the immediate locale and has openly defied the Lord Lieutenant of Borsetshire, no less than Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode himself. The final straw was the recent unspeakable humiliation visited upon Constable Smallbottom as he attempted, on Sir Rufus’ direct orders, to arrest Phil Archer, youngest son of family head Dan. Details of the scandalous treatment of the Constable have not yet been made public but it is understood that he is still severely traumatised. Meanwhile, Dan Archer and his gang have been pictured, flaunting their weapons and defying authority.
(https://velodoug.files.wordpress.com/2021/12/faf4869e-9bf8-405b-a2ba-8d9a6d60651c.jpeg)
Archer senior is flanked by his common-law wife Doris with his youngest son Phil to her left, waving a pistol. On Dan’s right is his eldest son Jack "The Knife" Archer, now a resident of Detroit and on a visit to his father. He is accompanied by two of his Detroit friends, Loquacious Lovelace and Miranda Hazebutt. Also pictured are various gang members including Bert "Sizzler" Fry, Walter "Angel’ Gabriel, Tom "Deadwood" Forest, Ned and Clarrie Larkin, Mrs Perkins (aka Mrs P.) and Silas Grundy.
Doug
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H.E. Bates would be proud :)
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Brilliant. :)
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Oh, I am looking forward to this! Nice painting.
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The most notorious looking outlaws ever to fence stolen goods at the Cat and Fiddle. Lovely stuff.
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The nefarious and villainous Archers to a tee, seen here at that sink of iniquity, Brookfield Farm.
Excellent work, old chum. Great story and some lovely figures.
Their impropriety, heinous and abhorrent behaviour surely demands retribution from Sir Rufus and his pulchritudinous daughters. Perhaps a swift surgical-strike at Penny Hassett by Sir Rufus and his Cult-Hunters might fit the bill? I hear that Lynda Snell has been seen selling crack again in Lower Loxley, no doubt in cahoots with Freddie Pargetter.
P.S. How is P.C. Smallbottom's helmet?
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H.E. Bates would be proud :)
:) I’ll have to see if Catherine Zeta-Jones is available for work.
Brilliant. :)
Thank you… :)
Oh, I am looking forward to this! Nice painting.
It could run and run :D
The nefarious and villainous Archers to a tee, seen here at that sink of iniquity, Brookfield Farm.
Excellent work, old chum. Great story and some lovely figures.
Their impropriety, heinous and abhorrent behaviour surely demands retribution from Sir Rufus and his pulchritudinous daughters. Perhaps a swift surgical-strike at Penny Hassett by Sir Rufus and his Cult-Hunters might fit the bill? I hear that Lynda Snell has been seen selling crack again in Lower Loxley, no doubt in cahoots with Freddie Pargetter.
P.S. How is P.C. Smallbottom's helmet?
Thanks, m’lud. Constable Smallbottom’s helmet has been responding to the vigorous daily buffing bestowed by Mrs. Smallbottom.
Doug
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Constable Smallbottom’s helmet has been responding to the vigorous daily buffing bestowed by Mrs. Smallbottom.
Ever the dutiful wife, Mrs. Smallbottom. However, I think she despairs of it ever regaining it's former glory after P.C. Smallbottom was on duty at the local derby, Felpersham Wanderers vs. Borchester Rovers!
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Awesome stuff Doug! :-* I hope the officer in the above picture washed the helmet liner out after that shift! lol
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Ever the dutiful wife, Mrs. Smallbottom. However, I think she despairs of it ever regaining it's former glory after P.C. Smallbottom was on duty at the local derby, Felpersham Wanderers vs. Borchester Rovers!
Snapcase, as ever, you’ve lowered the tone disgracefully. :D
Awesome stuff Doug! :-* I hope the officer in the above picture washed the helmet liner out after that shift! lol
Thank you :) . I take your point about the photo. Obviously that is not Constable Smallbottom - he was squelching round his rural beat 40 years before that incident. Nevertheless, the treatment of his helmet by the Archer clan would have necessitated much more drastic remedial work than the mere washing of the liner. Perhaps the full story will be made public at some time.
Doug
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.....much more drastic remedial work than the mere washing of the liner. Perhaps the full story will be made public at some time.
I shall stay tuned for just such an occasion!
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Snapcase, as ever, you’ve lowered the tone disgracefully.
Mea culpa! ;)
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Mea culpa! ;)
No-one has been more regularly culpa’d than your noble self…..
Doug
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Are you saying he's culpable? lol
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Are you saying he's culpable? lol
Not half. Culp enthusiasts beat a path to his noble door…
Doug
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He's a Culp leader!
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(https://i.imgur.com/5mgxyKu.png)
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To continue, the forces of law and order (and, let’s be honest, privilege) are not prepared to take these provocations without answer. Oh dear me no, not by a long chalk. Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode, Squire of Much Rampling and Lord Lieutenant of Borsetshire is not a man to be trifled with. His immediate concern is the looming threat of a socialist-lead invasion of Borsetshire, spreading red revolution through the peaceful hamlets and villages. He cannot ignore the threat to his own person either. Leaflets have appeared in the major towns of the county declaring the invaders’ intentions of marching on Borchester, the county town,, hanging the town council, putting the running-dog Lord Lieutenant up against a wall and raising the red flag over the town hall.
Despite these and many other challenges and duties, Sir Rufus is determined to rein in the Archer clan and administer salutary punishment for the heinous crimes and atrocities committed against Constable Smallbottom. The resources of the county are stretched to the limit so Sir Rufus has decided to use his own resources which means his family, friends and trusted servants. The Archers feel powerful and invulnerable being a close-knit family unit. Sir Rufus plans to challenge them with his own formidable clan.
Despite his Colonel Blimp bluster, Sir Rufus is a canny old bird. It just so happens that staying at the manor as a houseguest is an old Cambridge chum of his daughter Anticipation. This is Miss Temerity Ping. Miss Ping is an employee of the SIS, the Secret Intelligence Service. In fact, let’s not be coy, she’s an agent in that curious organisation. When Sir Rufus outlined his plan to use the family to eradicate the Archer threat, Miss Ping immediately volunteered to travel to Ambridge and gather as much intelligence as possible about the Archers’ strength, disposition and plans. She has now returned with much valuable information.
(https://velodoug.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/09592ce4-0b24-4cf8-8c92-64db6f30c303.jpeg)
Miss Temerity Ping. She never knowingly allows herself to be photographed face-on (she’s a secret agent!)
Doug
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So, did the head of the commie Archer clan, upon discovering the presence of the wily Ms. Ping, utter these words?: "Give me one Ping, Vasily. One Ping only". :D
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So, did the head of the commie Archer clan, upon discovering the presence of the wily Ms. Ping, utter these words?: "Give me one Ping, Vasily. One Ping only". :D
Or maybe "One Ping to Rule Them All?"
Regardless, it is necessary to correct an important error in your understanding of the Archer clan. Far from being "commies", they are the embodiment of unrestrained free enterprise. Any notion of equality and workers’ solidarity is totally foreign to them.
Doug
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Oops. My bad. I stand (well, sit..) corrected. But I couldn't resist the movie quote... :D
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Oops. My bad. I stand (well, sit..) corrected. But I couldn't resist the movie quote... :D
I didn’t get the quote - I’m not a film buff. Would it have been from The Hunt for Red October maybe? I’m guessing so probably way out. :)
Doug
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He's a Culp leader!
Everyone’s Latin is going down the tube(see what I did there ;))
Fantastic story telling Doug!
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Yep - The Hunt For Red October. Sean Connery's character directing one of his officers...
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More great story-telling there, Doug. Keep it coming. Miss Ping looks suitably mysterious. :-*
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Everyone’s Latin is going down the tube(see what I did there ;))
Er, no…. :)
Fantastic story telling Doug!
Thank you, sir…..
Yep - The Hunt For Red October. Sean Connery's character directing one of his officers...
Understood. I read the book but missed the film.
More great story-telling there, Doug. Keep it coming. Miss Ping looks suitably mysterious. :-*
Thank you, old fruit. As always your generosity of spirit is only exceeded by your dashing good looks.
Doug
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Everyone’s Latin is going down the tube(see what I did there ;))
lol
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The Latin word for tube is,wait for it,tube.
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The Latin word for tube is,wait for it,tube.
I’m thankful that we are attracting the right sort of erudite chap to this topic. ;)
Doug
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I’m thankful that we are attracting the right sort of erudite chap to this topic. ;)
Doug
Not I m’lud lol
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TO CONTINUE:
Based on Miss Ping’s information, Sir Rufus has decided to split his forces. One group, led by his wife Lady Ferocity and including his five daughters, Miss Ping and Audacity Bunty-Thimble, his wife’s secretary.
(https://velodoug.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/b79cbb4e-8cd3-422a-8aaf-13a77daf31b7.jpeg)
Lady Ferocity with her doberman bitch, Bitch. To her left, Audacity Bunty-Thimble. Behind her, the five daughters and behind them, trying to look inconspicuous, Temerity Ping
The other, led by himself will include his son Freddie, his nephew Cecil de Leominster, Cecil’s particular friend Baron Dietrich von Strepsil, head gamekeeper Renfrew McGruel, Sir Rufus’ valet Stirrup, the butler Wrench and, without much enthusiasm, indeed with great reluctance, Constable Smallbottom.
(https://velodoug.files.wordpress.com/2022/01/6ed2f8f8-1d3d-4f20-aa61-1f90a3e34245.jpeg)
Sir Rufus with his afghan hounds Esmeralda Golightly VII and Sinbad Restitution II. To his left, his son Freddie. To his right, his nephew Cecil de Leominster, accompanied by (in the feathered hat) his particular friend, Baron Dietrich von Strepsil. Behind them and suitably out of focus, the retainers. From the left Stirrup, Wrench and McGruel. Lurking at the back, an unenthusiastic Constable Smallbottom
Miss Ping discovered that, on a certain date, Jack "The Knife" Archer, accompanied by his two Detroit friends and including Silas Grundy, will be travelling in the Archers’ van to the area of Waterly Cross to attempt to persuade some local criminal elements to join the Archers in their assault on the Lord Lieutenant and the established order. At the same time, Dan Archer is planning a pre-emptive strike on Much Rampling itself. The plan is that Jack will join him with any recruits he may have enlisted. Dan’s thinking is that, if necessary, the family members he will have with him will be sufficient to defeat Sir Rufus in a surprise attack. If Jack can join him, so much the better but it’s not vital.
Acting on this intelligence, Sir Rufus and Lady Ferocity decide to send her group, known as the Distaff Group, to set up an ambush on the Ambridge to Waterly Cross road to eliminate Jack’s group before it can reinforced while at the same time, Sir Rufus leads his group to intercept the rest of the Archers and arrest them.
Before we follow the fortunes of these various armed and determined groups, it is appropriate to turn back time to delve into the outrage that has sparked such a dramatic response. It is time to recount:
The Degradation of Constable Smallbottom
https://leadadventureforum.com/index.php?topic=135204.msg1716732#new (https://leadadventureforum.com/index.php?topic=135204.msg1716732#new)
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The Degradation of Constable Smallbottom
Shivers of anticipation here. I must fortify myself with a sinew-stiffening libation before I indulge in your lurid tales of degradation and depravity. Push on, dear boy, push on!
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Shivers of anticipation here. I must fortify myself with a sinew-stiffening libation before I indulge in your lurid tales of degradation and depravity. Push on, dear boy, push on!
I hope the press won't release the source of his early days nickname "Cheeky"... lol
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Shivers of anticipation here. I must fortify myself with a sinew-stiffening libation before I indulge in your lurid tales of degradation and depravity. Push on, dear boy, push on!
Yes, get yourself well libated- it’s not a comfortable story….
I hope the press won't release the source of his early days nickname "Cheeky"... lol
Steady on - don’t go spreading rumours….😉
Doug
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Is it the modern parlance ‘spicy’? I try to look away,but I Kant,whoops Freudian slip,can’t lol
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I try to look away, but I Kant
I drink therefore I am, or is that putting des cartes before des horses? OK, I'll get me coat now! ;)
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"Emmanuel Kant was a real piss-ant, who was very rarely stable..." :D