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Author Topic: Dark Days in Borsetshire - Sir Rufus reviews the troops  (Read 7134 times)

Offline Doug ex-em4

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Dark Days in Borsetshire - Sir Rufus reviews the troops
« on: 23 December 2021, 06:34:12 PM »
Following the eruption of civil war after the abdication of Edward VIII, the notorious Archer family of Ambridge has used the subsequent turmoil to extend and increase its violent criminal activities. Operating from its ramshackle stronghold, the clan has extended its depredations beyond the immediate locale and has openly defied the Lord Lieutenant of Borsetshire, no less than Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode himself. The final straw was the recent unspeakable humiliation visited upon Constable Smallbottom as he attempted, on Sir Rufus’ direct orders, to arrest Phil Archer, youngest son of family head Dan. Details of the scandalous treatment of the Constable have not yet been made public but it is understood that he is still severely traumatised. Meanwhile, Dan Archer and his gang have been pictured, flaunting their weapons and defying authority.

Archer senior is flanked by his common-law wife Doris with his youngest son Phil to her left, waving a pistol. On Dan’s right is his eldest son Jack "The Knife" Archer, now a resident of Detroit and on a visit to his father. He is accompanied by two of his Detroit friends, Loquacious Lovelace and Miranda Hazebutt. Also pictured are various gang members including Bert "Sizzler" Fry, Walter "Angel’ Gabriel, Tom "Deadwood" Forest, Ned and Clarrie Larkin, Mrs Perkins (aka Mrs P.) and Silas Grundy.

Doug
« Last Edit: 06 January 2022, 12:21:22 PM by Doug ex-em4 »

Offline Blackwolf

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #1 on: 23 December 2021, 06:47:25 PM »
H.E. Bates would be proud :)
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Offline Orctrader

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #2 on: 23 December 2021, 06:54:34 PM »
Brilliant.   :)

Offline marianas_gamer

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #3 on: 23 December 2021, 10:40:07 PM »
Oh, I am looking forward to this! Nice painting.
Got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight.

Offline Sir_Theo

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #4 on: 23 December 2021, 11:39:57 PM »
The most notorious looking outlaws ever to fence stolen goods at the Cat and Fiddle. Lovely stuff.

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #5 on: 24 December 2021, 10:31:41 AM »
The nefarious and villainous Archers to a tee, seen here at that sink of iniquity, Brookfield Farm.

Excellent work, old chum. Great story and some lovely figures.

Their impropriety, heinous and abhorrent behaviour surely demands retribution from Sir Rufus and his pulchritudinous daughters. Perhaps a swift surgical-strike at Penny Hassett by Sir Rufus and his Cult-Hunters might fit the bill? I hear that Lynda Snell has been seen selling crack again in Lower Loxley, no doubt in cahoots with Freddie Pargetter.

P.S. How is P.C. Smallbottom's helmet?


Offline Doug ex-em4

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #6 on: 24 December 2021, 12:41:52 PM »
H.E. Bates would be proud :)
:) I’ll have to see if Catherine Zeta-Jones is available for work.

Brilliant.   :)

Thank you… :)

Oh, I am looking forward to this! Nice painting.

It could run and run :D

The nefarious and villainous Archers to a tee, seen here at that sink of iniquity, Brookfield Farm.

Excellent work, old chum. Great story and some lovely figures.

Their impropriety, heinous and abhorrent behaviour surely demands retribution from Sir Rufus and his pulchritudinous daughters. Perhaps a swift surgical-strike at Penny Hassett by Sir Rufus and his Cult-Hunters might fit the bill? I hear that Lynda Snell has been seen selling crack again in Lower Loxley, no doubt in cahoots with Freddie Pargetter.

P.S. How is P.C. Smallbottom's helmet?

Thanks, m’lud. Constable Smallbottom’s helmet has been responding to the vigorous daily buffing bestowed by Mrs. Smallbottom.

Doug

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #7 on: 24 December 2021, 03:38:08 PM »
Quote
Constable Smallbottom’s helmet has been responding to the vigorous daily buffing bestowed by Mrs. Smallbottom.

Ever the dutiful wife, Mrs. Smallbottom. However, I think she despairs of it ever regaining it's former glory after P.C. Smallbottom was on duty at the local derby, Felpersham Wanderers vs. Borchester Rovers!

Offline Bravo Six

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« Reply #8 on: 25 December 2021, 09:30:44 PM »
Awesome stuff Doug!  :-* I hope the officer in the above picture washed the helmet liner out after that shift!  lol

Offline Doug ex-em4

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #9 on: 25 December 2021, 10:16:37 PM »
Ever the dutiful wife, Mrs. Smallbottom. However, I think she despairs of it ever regaining it's former glory after P.C. Smallbottom was on duty at the local derby, Felpersham Wanderers vs. Borchester Rovers!

Snapcase, as ever, you’ve lowered the tone disgracefully.  :D

Awesome stuff Doug!  :-* I hope the officer in the above picture washed the helmet liner out after that shift!  lol

Thank you :) . I take your point about the photo. Obviously that is not Constable Smallbottom - he was squelching round his rural beat 40 years before that incident. Nevertheless, the treatment of his helmet by the Archer clan would have necessitated much more drastic remedial work than the mere washing of the liner. Perhaps the full story will be made public at some time.

Doug

Offline Bravo Six

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #10 on: 25 December 2021, 10:19:09 PM »
Quote
.....much more drastic remedial work than the mere washing of the liner. Perhaps the full story will be made public at some time.

I shall stay tuned for just such an occasion!

Offline Mad Lord Snapcase

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #11 on: 26 December 2021, 04:51:19 PM »
Quote
Snapcase, as ever, you’ve lowered the tone disgracefully.

Mea culpa!   ;)

Offline Doug ex-em4

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #12 on: 27 December 2021, 12:10:58 PM »
Mea culpa!   ;)

No-one has been more regularly culpa’d than your noble self…..

Doug

Offline FramFramson

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #13 on: 27 December 2021, 08:32:05 PM »
Are you saying he's culpable?  lol


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Offline Doug ex-em4

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Re: Dark Days in Borsetshire
« Reply #14 on: 27 December 2021, 09:30:35 PM »
Are you saying he's culpable?  lol
Not half. Culp enthusiasts beat a path to his noble door…

Doug

 

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