The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Update 2nd May - The End!

[marianas_gamer]

Of course we did indeed expect this 

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

Thanks dadlamassu and marianas_gamer.   


TURN 6 - Shocking Developments!

I was intending to post each time a turn was completed. However, so much has happened that I felt this time I will post turn 6's shooting and movement and add the expected combat as a second post. Absolutely shocking events, dear reader, have occurred in Higgleford-cum-Wortlebury-beneath-the-Hill. Innocent blood spilled carelessly like spoilt milk on the cobbles of that peaceful village.

Bottom spent the last move aiming so gets a +1 which cancels out the -1 for a matchlock which is listed as ‘inaccurate’. He lets fly at Sir John Falstaff and the lead ball creases the side of Sir John’s head, leaving him stunned. Or it would do, but Sir John has the attribute 'Tough' which means he can ignore light wounds (although the effects still mount cumulatively to cause a grievous wound).

Puck uses his halberd to chop off the Cardinal’s head and makes a short move to bung it over the wall of Gusset House. On his way up the lane Sir Francis shouts through the railings to the barbeque party "We have killed a Catholic Cardinal and will throw his head over to you for disposal. There are more of the Catholic bastards here. They have kidnapped my daughter and we are going to kill every last one of them. Come and help join in the fun."

Capitaine-General Montmorency Kenwood-Chef is as deaf as a post! He hasn’t heard most of the shouting that has taken place over the last three moves or so, so nothing happens there, except the Purple Hood (for it is he) gives the head a kick as it flies past and expertly slots it through the door of the pig sty! “Goooaaal!” he shouts.

Sir Francis is within 6” of Sir Jaspar and challenges him to single combat.  "Jasper thou craven sheep-biting miscreant, adulterate spawn of a toad-spotted hedge-pig, offspring of a goatish half-faced leprous witch! I, Sir Francis Hawley challenge you to a duel thou mewling craven rough-hewn, hugger-mugger!"





Stirrup has a shot at Sir Guffington. He fires and the heavy lead ball bounces harmlessly off of Sir Guffington’s morion. Hearing Sir Francis’s challenge to single combat, Sir Jaspar replies in the affirmative but as he accepts the challenge, at the very same moment, Sir John draws a pistole from his voluminous breeches and discharges it at Sir Francis. Sir Francis is hit in the arm, a light wound. However, it will affect his performance in the coming duel to the death!

Mimsie, having been left to her own devices starts to make a move towards Hanging Cross with the intention of turning right and heading towards Nether Transom and home. Unfortunately for her, the treacherous Sir Jaspar has dispatched Wrench to give her a blow from his mighty weapon. Wrench catches her in the centre of the crossroads and with one blow cleaves her in twain from neck to waist, in full view of the horrified villagers! “Well, she’s no bloody use now, is she?!” shouts Sir Jaspar. So the casualty score at present is one dead unarmed Jesuit Cardinal and one dead unarmed female innocent. Who said the days of chivalry were long gone (well, whoever it was, he was bloody well right)?

Following that, those members of the Cowie retinue who can advance, move into combat. Sir Jaspar and Sir Francis come face to face, close enough to smell the sweat and last night’s curry. This is a Duel and as such, no other figure can interfere until one of the two combatants falls to the ground with a mortal wound. Sir Nathaniel Toastrack moves to engage Lord Melchett and Lord Percy Percy engages Sir Guffington. At this point, Sir Miles cannot get into the fight.

 En Garde, gentlemen!









You should see the insults being exchanged on our Whatsapp group between Sir Jaspar and Sir Francis!

To be continued...

[Doug ex-em4]

You should see the insults being exchanged on our Whatsapp group between Sir Jaspar and Sir Francis!

I think if they were published, there’d be a danger of a Hate Crime charge.

Doug

[Patrice]

I've just found this thread! Nice village and superb story, thanks for sharing!

[Ironworker]

I love all these insults!

[Captain Blood]

It makes Blackadder look positively genteel.

Hilarious. Thanks for sharing this swashbuckling tale of derring do 
Or possibly derring-don’t. Alas poor Mimsie.

[Vagabond]

Alas poor Mimsie.

Alas poor Mimsie indeed, my sweet sweet daughter cut down in her prime by that black hearted devil Jasper, may the beslubbering tallow-faced perfidious puisny-tilted pignut rot in his own personal hell.

A withered doghearted crook-pated filthy rogue who accepts a challenge and then shoots the challenger before the duel is an impertinent pottle-deep scurvy-knave, a dissembling prick-eared bladder or worse.

[DintheDin]

Alas poor Mimsie indeed, my sweet sweet daughter cut down in her prime by that black hearted devil Jasper, may the beslubbering tallow-faced perfidious puisny-tilted pignut rot in his own personal hell.

A withered doghearted crook-pated filthy rogue who accepts a challenge and then shoots the challenger before the duel is an impertinent pottle-deep scurvy-knave, a dissembling prick-eared bladder or worse.

My deepest condolences, Sir! A Shakespearean tragedy is developing in front of our eyes... 
An aspiring young lady is lost so early in the game...
William used to kill some of his characters in such an early stage, theater has lost many young talents, disappointed of being out of play so soon!   

[Doug ex-em4]

Alas poor Mimsie indeed, my sweet sweet daughter cut down in her prime by that black hearted devil Jasper...

True except, let’s be honest, she wasn’t exceptional. And she was a heretic. And you’re a throppet-worrier. So it’s fine.

Sir J

[DintheDin]

True except, let’s be honest, she wasn’t exceptional. And she was a heretic. And you’re a throppet-worrier. So it’s fine.

Sir J

You are right too!
I'm in a limbo!
I'll better follow the continuation in silence 

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

I'll better follow the continuation in silence

DintheDin, don't keep silent, give the him back a good line such as “Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver’d boy.”   


TURN 6 - Combat concluded

The slaughter continues. We left Sir Francis and Sir Jaspar face-to-face with rapiers drawn about to engage in mortal combat. Both felt that their lives had been leading up to this moment, such was their enmity for each other.

I was thinking about bringing Capitaine-General Kenwood-Chef into the game in a sort of RPG interlude but I saw that the 'red mist' had descended on both players and they were likely to slaughter anything that moved. Kenwood-Chef and his company, thinking discretion the better part of valour, observe the tragedy from behind the front gate to Gusset House.

Although hampered by a ball in the arm, Sir Francis struck first and although Sir Jaspar riposted he received a grievous wound. Sir Jaspar has the attribute 'Lucky' which forces a re-roll making it a light wound. Sir Francis attacks again and runs Sir Jaspar through. Sir Jaspar will strike no more, he sinks to the ground and with a final twirl of his moustachio, shuffles off this mortal coil! Sir Jaspar has expired and gone to meet his maker.



...and now, after that cliff-hanger we turn to see how the side-kicks fare in this clash of the titans. Lord Melchett, the banner bearer is facing Sir Nathaniel Toastrack. Winning the initiative roll to go first, Lord Melchett strikes a Mighty Blow and using his Powerful attribute disposes of Toastrack in a very business-like manner. Toastrack joins his leader on the ground, stiff and bereft of life, now at peace and very soon to be pushing up the daisies.

...and we turn to the last combat this turn being fought in what will become Bloody Lane in villagers memories. Sir Guffington Shortbread is up against Lord Percy Percy. With a frightening display of swordsmanship, Lord Percy finishes Sir Guffington with a single attack. Sir Guffington has passed on, he is no more, he has ceased to be. There we temporarily leave this sad tale as turn 6 ends I feel sure that more slaughter will ensue before this story draws to a close.

To be continued...

[Doug ex-em4]

And now, a shout-out to Sir Rancis:



Sir Jasper

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

And now, a shout-out to Sir Rancis:



Sir Jasper

Very cutting!   

[DintheDin]

DintheDin, don't keep silent, give the him back a good line such as “Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver’d boy.”   

I'd rather prefer to stay impartial 
Frankly, this thread is an epic thesaurus of hilarious gentlemanly insults I enjoy immensely, partially with the aid of Google as English is not my mother language...
I follow with fervent interest to see what worse may happen next!!! 

[Mad Lord Snapcase]

as English is not my mother language...

DintheDin, I have to say, if you had not said that I would never have known. You write English as if it is your first language.

I follow with fervent interest to see what worse may happen next!!!

Don't worry, it gets worse and worse. the two protagonists are at each other's throats now. Death may follow!