I wondered if it might be of assistance to your readers if parts of our recent correspondence were to be published here? The paucity of information on Throppets is very worrying (did you see what I did there?). Our mentions in various missives between Vagabond, myself and your good-self, of informative works on the Throppet may direct readers to a better source of understanding, should they wish it.
An Abridged Version of Recent Exchanges on the Subject of the Throppet:
SNAPCASEAs a distinguished member of the Ancient Order of the Quaking Snark, I have access to that rare volume,
‘Doctrina et Ritus Autem Throppetus-Exercitus’, which gives many insights into the lore of Throppet Worrying and how to proceed against these dangerous creatures!
DOUG ex-em4I am very jealous that you have a copy of the ‘Doctrina’. Although many of its assumptions have been exploded by modern research, it is still the first work to consult for anyone conducting serious Throppet research. For a more conversational approach in the modern style, may I recommend the engaging (if occasionally flippant)
‘Throppets - Gotta Lurve 'Em’ by Katie Price and the somewhat turgid late nineteenth century volume
‘With Gun and Mule, an Examination of the Throppet Legend’ by St John Probity Foulenough (foreword by Miss Gertrude Hiss). Many other works, of varying utility, are available....
SNAPCASEWell, of course the Doctrina does hold to the old theory that Throppets are best worried by poking their giglets with a very sharp stick. As science has now revealed in Dr. Rupert Startling-Grope’s seminal and ground-breaking work
‘Give It To Them In The Clackers’, they are best worried by using a cattle-prod on their clackers, as the title indicates.
I can recommend
‘Travels in the Back Passage’ by G. Cecil Chinstrap. Chinstrap is somewhat shaky on the geography of Throppetania but is very solid on the facts when discussing their politics and religion. Katie Price’s volume, I have to say remains a closed book to me!
Of course, in the vein of Throppet fiction, Captain W. E. Johns cannot be bettered.
VAGABONDI've searched my library of Biggles books because I was sure I had a copy of
‘Biggles Worries a Throppet’ from my childhood, but I can't find it. Maybe the Dewey System has let me down, or Rotherham Library sent a Snatch Squad to reclaim their lost volumes.
Amazon have a leather-bound copy for £532.32 plus postage which I've placed on order.
I cannot find a copy of any of the books you refer to on Throppet Law for sale anywhere, although I thought I was close with the Gun and Mule volume that was referred to, but it turned out to be
‘Travels with a Donkey’ by R. L. Stevenson, a complete red herring. It seems I shall be at a very severe disadvantage with my lack of Throppet Law and Behavioural Practices in the coming tussle, something I shall have to overcome with my trusty old blunderbuss Bess, that is if Throppets don't eat blunderbusses for breakfast, or maybe high tea.
SNAPCASEI understand from my sources that there is a secret snatch-squad of Throppet sympathisers travelling around the country stealing all Throppet-related material in a bid to redact all knowledge and lore of these mysterious creatures. All maps of Throppetania (such as they were) have disappeared from the British Library recently. It does feel like some portentous event is about to take place and our ability to fight back is seriously threatened!
Sales of cattle-prods have trebled in the last month, so obviously even the general public understand the gravity of the situation. We in the Ancient Order of the Quaking Snark are at DEFCON2.
On the news this morning, I hear that Dr. Rupert Startling-Grope (author of
‘Give It To Them In The Clackers’ and Throppet expert) has mysteriously disappeared from his office in Railway Cuttings, East Cheam.
Something is definitely afoot!
Pip, pip,
Snapcase
(Grand Poobah of the Ancient Order of the Quaking Snark and High Muffler of the Flange and Trunion Club)
DOUG ex-em4John - forgive me if I draw your attention to a minor error in your previous notes. What we are currently discussing is Throppet Lore. Throppet Law is an altogether different matter and frankly, should you ever find yourself subject to it, you are already doomed...
You are not the first to be caught out by the Stevenson book and you certainly will not be the last.
Snapcase, you raise some pertinent, nay, disturbing issues. It is time for caution to translate into action...!
My contacts have told me that The Cult of the Worried Throppet are inflamed by the fresh interest in the disastrous work of that infamous charlatan Rasputin Wilson (he who claimed to have raised a number of Throppets in captivity). The recent publication of a book which once again denounced this fraud (
‘The Seven Throppets of Wilson’ by Lawrence of Belgravia) has reignited interest in all things Throppet, to the dismay and fury of The Cult.....There is a whirlwind approaching which threatens to engulf us all. The safety of mankind currently rests in the liver-spotted hands of Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode.