Most, in fact all of the fighting had been taking place within the ruined church with B Company, 2nd Battalion of the Royal Regiment of Surrey giving the Prussians a serious drubbing under the command of Captain Edward Woodwoodwoodwoodson.
Frankly the rest of Major Farquar Farquarson's command were getting a bit bored sitting it out, watching from the safety of their redoubt on the opposite side of the river.
One solitary experimental Lowen steam carriage armed with a single Nordenfeld machine gun decided it was time to go and give the dastardly enemy a taste of British steel and lead.
Dutifully the carriage chugged out from behind the church and opened fire on the nearest Prussian infantry unit. Sadly the Nordenfeld was never the most deadly of weapons and the casualty rate inflicted upon the enemy was frankly poor.
The Prussians in return opened fire on the carriage, not causing any casualties, but damaged the paintwork. The crew were by this point furious, having spent the entire morning polishing the carriage decided the sensible thing to do would be to drive over the hapless Prussians.
Fortunateley for the Steam Carriage the Prussians were utterly useless at placing their sausage shaped sticky bombs and the carraige continued to drive and reverse over anything wearing a Pickelhaube.
Meanwhile back on the Surrey bank a cheer rose up from the redoubt. Major farqaurson's first reinforcements arrived in the form of the Shere village first eleven cricket team and a single Screw gun and RA crew.
(We later found out the cheer was not for the arrival of the reinforcements but for the magnificent victory the cricket team had just inflicted on their fiercest rivals the Woking first Eleven. Apparently they declared at 471 for 3 and had bowled them out for 55 still managing to fit in lunch and cream teas before joining the battle.)
Back in the church however things were not going well for Captain Woodwoodwoodwoodson. His command was being destroyed before his eyes as the Prussian assualt troops swarmed in around him. (Many seeking refuge from the chaos being caused by the steam carriage outside.) Eventually he fell with a bullet lodged in his heart.His last thoughts undoubtedly were for his young bride waiting back in the village in a large comfy bed and his missed opportunity to score that century against Woking.
At this point the battle could have turned as the Prussians now moved forward en masse protected by the high stone walls of the church.
The Prussian marines move forward.
Seizing the moment knowing attack is the best form of defence Major Farquarson ordered forward the naval brigade to engage the Prussians now occupying the church.
A fierce firefight commenced between the two respective naval brigade's machine guns. Unusually the Nordenfeld came off best, its crew cut down by fifty percent still managed to destroy their Prussian counterpart.
Another cheer was heard from the Surrey river bank as further reinforcements arrived. And a truly impressive sight it was too. A shiny new Lowen Steam walker, a detachment of infantry all the way from Shropshire.(this was to be their first taste of action, virgin troops every one of them) and a dashing squadron of Lancers under the command of the Khazi of Khalibar.
Too late in the day did these chaps arrive. The Lancers did nothing more than sit on the river bank and water their horses, with their lance penants gently fluttering in the breeze. The steam walker on the other hand couldn't wait to engage the enemy and strode straight across the river keen to enter the fight.
Unfortunately things did not go so well for the walker. It managed to inflict some casualties with its machine gun but was immediately engaged by the Prussian tanks. Causing little damage with their guns they opted for the old fashioned method of a frontal charge and drove straight into the legs of the walker.
At the terrifying speed of 15mph this had a catostrophic effect on the walker and it came crashing to the ground. Fortunately none of the crew were injured and consequently they continued to merrily shoot up the Prussians from the now grounded machine.
At around 4pm sensing victory members of the Royal Horticultural society from nearby Wisley who had been conducting a lecture in the parish hall came forward to observe the action.
The Prussians in th econfusion thought this new group were more British troops. They sensed defeat was imminent and launched one final desparate assault on the bridge. But this too faltered and they decided enough was enough and begun to withdraw.
The Shere 1st Eleven cricket team charge across the bridge to engage the Prussian tank armed with cricket ball grenades.
So ended this most crucial engagement in the ongoing war with Prussia. We believe the Prussians have learned a valauble lesson in not underestimating the resolve and guts of the British. Hurrah!!!
Thanks to Thunderchicken and Gregg for making the journey over and making this an enjoyable fight.
11 August 2008, 04:48:56 PM