Right,that’s it. Time’s up. Either those baskets come up with the dosh or it’s time for the cosh. As we advanced in wedge up the remains of a village used as target practice by the army, we kept a weather eye out for the army girls. We needn’t have bothered. With typical subtlety, they were drawn up across the road with the heavy weapon to the front. I think we could take it they intended to pay in full in lead.
Well, they’d bitten off more than they could chew this time. Sending Mollie and Dollie, our Enforcers blatantly swaggering around with shooters and swords, to sweep in from the North, I lead the girlies down the centre blazing away with the new 9mm Mausers as we skipped from cover to cover. Blimey, we needed that cover. All hell came back the other way. Pretty soon the air was full of imprecations as both sides realised just what a right mess this was making of the frocks and just how much stitching was going to be needed to repair this little lot. Gerty hit the deck screaming that this material was £10 a yard and you could never get the colour to match as several holes appeared in her bodice. And she wasn’t alone, darn it…
Nevertheless, slowly but surely we closed in on the welshers until we got close enough to try rushing them. Major Mistake and Captain Catastrophe came out guns flaming in the North and there was a big discussion with fairy cakes, lead balls and steel blades bouncing off all and sundry. Fortunately, the Captain had already had several rum punches to head and was about as accurate as a VBC weather forecast. When the Hills from Hell joined in, there was only one way it was going to end up. Up theirs. Even with the survivors from the wrecked Martian flamer wading in to help, their dresses weren’t fit for the ball anymore.
The big bust up though was the Battle of the Barrels. I don’t think any of our team came back from that without an enormous laundry bill. I do not know where we’ll be able to find enough needle and thread. I could, of course, always ask the soldier girls but I reckon they’ll be short of folding too. Given the state of Captain Catastrophe during the last two engagements, I believe we can already guess where the liquid cash has been stashed and we do not want that sort of refund. We could never get it out of the carpet.
So it looks as if we’ll have to put the debt down to being paid in kind. And wasn’t it kind of them to fall for us? Snigger.
Not Diamond Annie,
Wouldn’t know Sandhurst from a Sand Castle,
Was definitely in the Elephant and Castle and there will be a dozen witnesses to swear to it. Or they’ll be less than a dozen…
22 March 2014, 10:07:58 AM