Big Trouble in Little China

[Silbuster]

Big Trouble in Little China

Brother Benjamin, Magus of the Inner Circle, priest of the Church of the Minimally Holy and Principal Patron of the Absolutely Unprincipled turned his cowl towards Master Myxomatosis (he suspected that it was not his real name).
“Ye gods, my hangover would floor a bull elephant. Do we really have to search for clues as to who murdered Dr Black in this hole?”
“I fear so”, replied Myxomatosis, looking on Chinatown with dismal disfavour. He had never liked the place  since that last lemon chicken. As memories of the putrid poultry flooded back, a new more urgent flood took its place.
“Ye gods!”, moaned Benjamin as the mad monk vomited over a passing Pekinese, “I’m not surprised you’re unwell if that’s an example of your diet!”
Looking anywhere where putrescent puke was lacking, it was borne in upon him that they were not alone. Akhenaton and his crazed cultists were just over the river to the South while the Brick Lane Anarchists were entering Chinatown from the West.
“Hell fire! Sortie you chaps. At the double… but quietly does it.”

A sea of cultists and serving staff milled about, as cultists are wont to do, in search of someone to put them out of their misery. Half the Hellfire Club and Brick Lane nutters moved forwards into range and began exchanging cheery shouts at the prospect of a fine morning’s shoot.
“By Jove, you don’t even have to send the beaters in!”
“It’s better than shooting rats in a barrel!”
As they settled themselves comfortably and broke out the hip flasks and bottles of brown ale the frothing ones scuttled into range and opened a blistering fire.
As the bullets whistled harmlessly overhead, as is the wont of cultist ammunition everywhere, their enemies rose leisurely and popped off a good half-dozen of them. To cries of “What’s Akhenaton ever done for us” and “He’s a very naughty boy”, the surviving crazed loons ran into the nearest buildings and refused to come out again.
“You can huff and you can puff but you’ll never blow us away in here.”, shouted the cultists to the Hellfire Club.
Several shots rang out….
Casting caution to the wind, the remaining few huddled together in the basements.
“They’ll never get us in here!”, the murmured encouragingly to each other oblivious to the Brick Lane Anarchists grimly crossing the river in search of them.

“You just can’t get the staff”, complained Akhenaton, “Oh well, if you want a job doing, best do it yourself.” Gesturing to his Captain and Clara the Crazed Cultist Cook, he closed in on the nearest Club Class Members.
“Ye gods support us….”
“The gods are with us you fools….”
Brother Judas scornfully surveyed the vastness that was the bosom of the cultists’ cook. The other two may have been unlucky but at least they had had the good fortune of worthy opponents.
“Oh ye gods”, he intoned, “give me a sign that she is worthy of my efforts!”
Whereupon she smartly smacked him over the head with her sword.

Meanwhile, their kindred were meeting the tidal wave of pong that was the Brick Lane Mob.
“I don’t know what’s in those bottles they’re carrying but it if’s eau-de-working-class I, for one, am off.”
The great unwashed closed in.
“You fools, the gods protect me…”
“I appeal to the Heavens….”
“I may be outnumbered two to one but this is no challenge to such….”
“I may be beset at odds of three to one but my confidence….”
“The gods have deserted us….”
As Brother Benjamin fell, he reflected that it really was most annoying to run somebody clean through only to have them pop right back up again.
“Though four to one may be long odds….? Hello, I’m still here”, said Sister Hyacinth of the Church of the Rude Awakening if You’re Lucky.

Eschewing Hell hacking, Akhenaton cornered Seamus O’Toole in a doorway and swung his great sword then paused to admire his handiwork. Door cut in half? Check. Great chunk taken out of the wall? Check. Serf sliced? Seamus smiled encouragingly at him. Akhenaton tried again. Door in splinters? Check. Wall demolished? Check. Serf skewered? Seamus patted his bald head in commiseration. Akhenaton suddenly felt all his five thousand years. Searching for consolation he spotted, far off, the Brick Lane Mob tiring of the “Bouncing bottles of Buildings” game and instead playing “Hook them out by their lugholes”. Sighing, his eyes sought his Captain whose aching arms were going for one last desperate try to put one of these Brick Land Beggars down and out. The postman fell. The Captain poked him with his foot. Nope, the basket was staying down. Panting from his efforts, he looked at the next one. No chance.
“Not to worry Sir”, said Clara, “We’ve found the murderer. It was Mrs Peacock all along. We can go home now.”
Nodding weakly, Akhenaton leaned on her shoulders as he stumbled towards home. Only three out of fourteen of them left. His company would need some rebuilding. Behind him, Seamus was giving him the thumbs up. Well, it may have been his thumb.

Sister Hyacinth picked Sister Tulip up and dusted her off. Just the two of them left out of eleven. There would be a good few vacancies for an ambitious Sister to fill.

The Revolutionary Hero gazed at his flock. Still fourteen left out of fifteen. Mind you, they had not caught the murderer. How unlucky could you get?

The Scenario:
Somebody has done Dr Black in and HMG is desperate to find out who ‘cause they ain’t got a clue. Not entirely true. In fact there is a short list of Miss Scarlett, Colonel Mustard, Reverend Green, Mrs Peacock, Mrs White and Professor Plum. But which one?

Each company gathers clues by entering buildings which their side has not entered so far. If a figure finishes its move in a building, their side is awarded one of the six counters representing the suspects above. If all the six counters have already been awarded then the player rolls a six sided die and consults the table below. If he rolls a counter that he already has… tough. If he rolls a counter that somebody else has then he steals it from that player.

As you can appreciate, the only way to gather more clues is to fight your way into buildings which you’ve not yet set foot in. And the only way to prevent everybody else from nicking your clues is to stop them getting a leg into buildings themselves.

If, at any time, one company gains possession of all six clues, then they have won.

If that does not happen, then at the end of the game a six sided die is rolled and the guilty party is:
1: Reverend Green
2: Colonel Mustard
3: Mrs Peacock
4: Professor Plum
5: Miss Scarlett
6: Mrs White

Whoever owns the clue for the guilty party wins. Obviously, the more clues you hold, the better chance you have of winning. But even if you only have one, you are still in with a shout.

[wulfgar22]

  Great stuff as always!

[Drachenklinge]

Thanks, that was fun to read.


Some questions to the terrain. These are sarissa buildings, at least some. Are you able to compare them to the 4grounds? Not about the (not)painted style, but interior and details, etc. What do You think?

[Silbuster]

Thanks, that was fun to read.


Some questions to the terrain. These are sarissa buildings, at least some. Are you able to compare them to the 4grounds? Not about the (not)painted style, but interior and details, etc. What do You think?

They are not as detailed within nor are they as sturdy but they are still quite acceptable. Being bone idle, I prefer 4ground because their exterior is painted.

;

[Sendak]

Superb!

Another well done presentation.

I like your crew.

Regards,
Sendak

[Drachenklinge]

... Being bone idle ...

hehe ... didn't know that phrase. ^^

but thanks for the insight, helpful.

[wulfgar22]

Being bone idle, I prefer 4ground because their exterior is painted.

;

A man after my own heart. 

[Silbuster]

Superb!

Another well done presentation.

I like your crew.

Regards,
Sendak

The Hellfire Club are Pulp Miniatures. They are very nice figures. Much recommended. I could do with a pulp version of IHMN.