We interrupt your normal programme to bring you a startling news update and this is Alvar Lidell reading it. “Gunfire has been heard at Snapcase Hall this Sunday morning by the residents of Much-Piddling in Devon. The local policeman, P.C. Constable has apparently cycled up to the Hall and has not yet returned. The Flying Squad has left Scotland Yard and they expect to arrive in Much-Piddling Thursday lunchtime, all being well (as long as D.I. Jack Slipper doesn’t have trouble with his piles again). Rooms have been booked in advance at the Cock Dropper’s Arms and it is expected, after a decent lunch, Jack and the boys will toddle on up to the Hall in the afternoon and bring proceedings to a peaceful close. That is all for now listeners and now back to your regular programme, The Archers”.
Showing the starting positions of the various protagonists, the archaeologists crossing the railway bridge, bottom left, Snapcase and family in the Hall centre and the Gräfin starting from the Marie Anne, far right. The railway track and the area between the statues presents extreme peril and the tower and the water are perilous.
The plot points from top left clockwise, the bee hive, the rubbish bin, the radio transmitter, the pig skin briefcase and in the centre, the Ark of the Covenant. The Gräfin’s league started with the initiative and forced the archaeologists to activate first.
Here we see the Countess Ripya Korzetov (leader of the archaeologists) stepping straight into extreme peril as she realises that there is something eerie about the statues. If she looks away for a second, they seemed to have moved nearer. She puts it down to her fevered imagination and by using her superb athletic prowess, does a backward flip out of danger. The others have seen the danger and skirted round, her sidekick, Count Yuri Pissinmiov leading Gussie Finknottle in one direction whilst Professor Cholmondely-Warner leads ‘Barmy’ Fothringay-Phipps (presumably related to the family that writes the rules for these games?) and Dame Hilda Rumpole in the other.
Within the ancient walls of Snapcase Hall, the family gather around the treasure that may restore their fortune. L-R: Old Scrotum, Chulmleigh the mad bulldog, Mad Lord Snapcase, La Sorella di Lavanda, Captain Arthur Mainwaring ,Bonnie Wooster and the Right Reverend Marmaduke “Budgie” Wooster.
Meanwhile, the Gräfin Marie Anne von Toptotty, judging the time is right to confiscate what looks to her knowledgeable eye to be the Ark of the Covenant (gasp!) moves up the jetty with her sidekick, Kapitein Aard B’Astard and the divers, Patty O’Furniture, Bud Wiser, Karl Bunkle and Jack Boot.
Count Yuri enters through a side passage and gets a shot off at Bonnie and ‘Budgie’ but he’s been running and his aim is wide. Gussie Finknottle enters behind Pissinmiov, but cannot shoot as his line of sight is blocked in the narrow passage.
As the Right Reverend Marmaduke “Budgie” Wooster begins to move a Fortune Card is played, ‘Budgie’ fails his roll and is down and out, being a mere follower of the Mad Lord.
Bonnie and Captain Mainwaring step over the still-form of their cousin and shoot at Pissinmiov and the Russian takes a bullet in the shoulder. Snapcase, Chulmleigh, Old Scrotum and Lavanda takes up an ambush position as bullets whistle up and down the contested side-passage. At this point they cannot see who is shooting into the hallway.
Fortune cards are being used without much luck at present. The dice are rolling well!
Kapitein Aard diverts from the main attack and climbs the tower, making his peril throw as he encounters giant spiders on the tower steps. The Gräfin and her divers split and entered the Hall by two back passages.
The Gräfin, Patty and Bud step into the Hall much to the astonishment of Snapcase and his party. The Gräfin von Toptotty uses her Power of Allure (Mindblast in the rules) as everyone within sight of her is momentarily stunned by her beauty! The victims must use all their cunning to escape being enthralled by the Gräfin’s voluptuousness. Bonnie and Chulmleigh the dog fail and spend the rest of that turn a dice down.
Bunkle and Boot have entered from another back passage and Bunkle exchanges shots with Old Scrotum to no avail. Boot finds his line of sight blocked by Bunkle.
Count Yuri moves forward although he is sensible enough not to move out into the hallway. This allows Gussie to go left behind him into an empty room. Korzetov also runs in, goes right and appears in another doorway. Now it's chaos as bullets sweep the room. Bud shoots at Bonnie, Patty shoots at Bonnie, Bonnie shoots back. Ripya shoots at Bud. Bonnie hits the deck with a wound and Korzetov is also hurt. Meanwhile, up in the tower Aard B’Astard fails to tune the radio in and listen to the secret message, taking two hits in the process.
Gussie Finknottle appears by surprise from the empty room behind the Mad Lord. Even more surprisingly, the archaeologists who went the other way have entered through the main door and have now appeared in the hallway, line abreast, guns ready to add to the maelstrom of lead already in the air.
Cholmondely-Warner and La Sorella di Lavanda exchange shots but both miss. ‘Barmy’ takes a pot shot at Old Scrotum but has forgotten to load his pistol (the ‘Out of Ammo’ fortune card is played) and Old Scrotum lives to battle on. Dame Hilda and the Mad Lord exchange a volley and take a hit each, Hilda goes down with a bullet in her leg.
Chulmleigh, enraged by the noise charges Pissinmiov but gets knocked out for his trouble. Mad Lord Snapcase finally loses his rag, charges Finknottle and lays him out with a massive haymaker. Captain Mainwaring shoots at the Gräfin and Lavanda plugs away at Cholmondely-Warner.
Using the old brain (eats a lot of fish, does Old Scrotum) for which he is justly renowned, Old Scrotum puts his handkerchief in the neck of a bottle of twenty-one year-old Courvoisier Cognac (which was to have been consumed by Snapcase) lights it and lobs it in the general direction of the Gräfin. It goes off with a massive roar of noise and flame causing mayhem. von Toptotty and Patty O’Furniture seemed to have survived the worst of it but Bud Wiser goes down as if he’s been poleaxed.
Now there are six bodies on the floor with no sign of any let-up in the general carnage. It looks as if Bud, Bonnie, Gussie and Dame Hilda are struggling to regain their feet but it looks like it’s all over for Chulmleigh the faithful bulldog, companion to the 10th Earl of Snapcase (wipes away a tear!).
At this point I felt compelled to take a break. That was the end of Turn 3, only half-way and already Snapcase Hall was knee-deep in bodies and blood. I assuaged the old hunger pangs with Marmite and toast whilst surveying the battlefield. The conclusion to this bloody affair will be fought out tonight over a few stiffening libations but I thought I had better record the first half of the game whilst the leagues were enjoying a well-deserved half-time orange and reloading their pistols for the denouement.
I’m playing this solo and it’s a bit hard keeping track of three leagues, hence the break . However, Pulp Alley has been a pleasure to use here, keeping the action going with very little need to refer to the rules. Using Snapcase Hall as terrain has generated a great game as characters can dodge from room to room and appear behind other characters, one needs to be aware of spreading characters out or they block lines of sight. Using the Cluedo board as a base for the Hall has generated a lot of surprise moves in the game and it is hard to be surprised when playing solo!
I will post a report of the closing three turns over the next day or two, perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim.