Side-stepping all the weak dog gags here, one positive to come out of the recent monsoons we've been having in the UK is the profusion of toppled trees. I've just gone out today with my bucket, chisel and hammer and have collected a nice pile of good textured bark from dead trees blown over in the wind.
It's in the oven now drying out (minus the woodlice, who have been safely deposited in the garden) and although it's not as thick and gnarly as cork bark, it's still going to come in very useful.
Go and be Wombles!