Maul opened the hatch and Lady Noel stepped through, instantly greeted by a pair of ominous barrels. Without thought, she drew her twin artisan-crafted bloogers and aimed back at it!
“You’re not penetrating that frontal armor,” Maul said dourly. She was in a stand-off with a metallic box on treads and loaded with firepower commonly called a “tank.”
She holstered her laspistols, “Not with that attitude.” Giving it a more thoughtful look she added, “I’ve never seen this in the guard arsenal.”
“It’s a Space Marine tank called the Predator Annihilator, m’lady.” Maul explained as he swept his torch across the barren bay. Another vehicle, the Rhino mk. I was beside it.
“Now you’re just making up tanks,” she told him. “Space Marine tanks don’t look like that.”
Before he could find a polite way to call his boss an idiot, again, he caught movement near the far wall…
IRL- My first roll for contact. Yeah, I disgust me too.
“Contact 12 o’clock!” A red skitter attempted to flee his beam but was struck by a las shot. For all of her… “specialness,” Lady Noel was a deadeye shot and unfortunately knew it, as her smug face showed.
Another skitter joined it’s friend and now it was Maul’s turn to engage! He savagely wailed on them both with his maul, but like the cockroaches they were, they kept passing health checks. So he kept hitting them. It’s the vicious circle of life.
“That’s a lot of pent up anger,” the reason for his pent up anger noted aloud.
“Armsman,” she ordered the poor mook behind her, “check the forward part of the hold. No more cute surprises.”
Noel splashed some sacred oil upon the terminal and recited the wrong litany of L337, getting a nasty shock for her trouble!
Meanwhile, Maul was still making crab meat out of the little skitter beast. Refusing to just die, it kept passing a health check and getting back up. This took Maul out of the game for a few turns.
He knew that anything could be behind that hatch. There was an 83% chance it was hostile and a 100% chance he was expendable, but great discoveries have been made on that slim margin! He swung it open and shoved his shotgun barrel forward-
And found MakGuffin, autopistol drawn, at the end of his barrel! Success!
“Thank the Emperor,” she said and lowered her autopistol.
Suddenly, Your Mom appeared! I mean, a wild pack of hulk inhabitants with ill intent appeared behind MakGuffin and shot her a lot! I mean, like a lot, a lot. From behind, point blank. Mission objective passed, in more ways than one.
The armsman and trio furiously pumped shots into the walls around each other, both sides unable to take each other out. A pair of laser bolts flew through the open hatch and dispatched a ruffian, the way in which a true heroine announces her entrance.
She was bloody and wounded from a nasty spill on the cargo bay non-skid, but Lady Noel had arrived.
(Safety Note: Never run on a non-skid deck under poor lighting. Otherwise you may just trip over a chain holding down an aircraft. I managed to do that in daylight. Twice. I call it the John C. Stennis (CVN-73) Hello. Anyway, that’s how I got these scars.)
She checked Brighid’s pulse and administered a stim. No response, not good.
Situation well in hand, she calmly strode over to the next terminal to try her luck (?) again at technomancy. Litany L337 was recited and she prayed to the God-Emperor and/or Omnissiah it wouldn’t catch fire again…
After a moment, brilliant green text illuminated the dark screen. She had made contact, accomplishing the other objective.
A creaking hatch caught Lady Noel’s attention as another pair of Inhabitants with Ill Intent joined the party!
Noel’s bloogers greeted the one, and the other addressed her with a burst of Double-Aught Noble Shot!
Where they STILL going at it? Like a slap fight between toddlers, those two…
Maul, much like Homie, don’t play that and thwomped the last foe into submission after a bold charge. Terminal secure, a medical team and search party dispatched, mission accomplished.
“Took you long enough to get here, guardsman…” Noel said coldly as she lit a cigar.
“My apologies, m’lady…”
ErrataThe Lady Dame Noel Nagato is a combination of Blackadder’s Lord Flashheart and Haruhi Suzumiya; she was inspired by the sheer swagger and anime girl vibes of Victoria Miniatures’ Lady Creedence miniature. Oh no… she’s Megumin.
According to Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader (1987), “blooger” is a common term for laspistols or laser pistols. This is the same tome that includes a “stub pistol” illustration which is literally just a Colt M1911A1. Because John Moses Browning got it right.
ScenarioThis game is played with Pulp Alley Second Edition rules.
Lady Noel’s party is trapped decks below Docking Bay 94 and MakGuffin is missing.
The darkened, debris strewn corridors are a bit of a hazard so any movement over 6” requires a peril check. Visibility only extends to 12”.
Opening or closing hatches takes an action. Skitters can’t open hatches but they can move through vents and crawlspaces. That takes them a turn but they can then appear in the space on the other side of the hatch.
Noel’s auspex has detected five nearby terminals that may be used to contact her crew and gather data about this deck. Only one is not corrupted.
When engaging with a terminal, roll a D6 for its challenge.
1-2: Roll two successes with might (beat it into working)
3-4: Roll two successes with finesse (reconnect wires and chant the proper litany for it to work)
5-6: Roll two successes with cunning (use your L337 hacking skills to guess the right word, like Fallout 3)
If you fail the terminal goes black and the acrid scent of burning electronics fills the otherwise stale, dead air. Take a hit of damage.
Meanwhile, five life forms have been detected moving about the deck. Each turn they move D6 in a random direction; unless it is within 12” of a character. Then it will charge the character.
When within 12” of a character, roll for the fun:
1: A Skitter (small xenos life form)
2: A pair of skitters (small xenos life form)
3: Three skitters, otherwise known as a “Scatter of skitters” (small xenos life form)
4: Hulk Inhabitant with Ill-Intent (human hive scum)
5: Your mom. (Roll again but make it three!)
6: You found MakGuffin! (If this is your first life form roll, roll again because life is never this easy. You disgust me.)
Skitter
Brawl 2d6
Shoot N/A
Dodge 3d6
Might 1d6
Finesse 1d6
Cunning 1d6
Animal Add +1 die to two skills
Armored Roll +1 health check die, can only rush more than 6”
Hive Scum
Brawl 2d6
Shoot 3d6
Dodge 2d6
Might 1d6
Finesse 1d6
Cunning 1d6
Goon
Fierce
Marksman
Noel Nagato
Brawl 3d10
Shoot 3d10
Dodge 2d8
Might 2d8
Finesse 3d10
Cunning 3d10
Daredevil Once per turn, you gain +1 to a peril challenge
Indomitable Once per turn, you may re-roll one recovery check
Inspiring(?) Once per turn, a colleague within 12” gains +1 to a challenge
Maul (Sgt. Truncheon Shillelagh)
Brawl 3d8
Shoot 2d6
Dodge 3d8
Might 3d8
Finesse 2d6
Cunning 2d6
Moxie Ignores the multiple fight penalty when rolling brawl dice
Savage Once a turn, after resolving a brawl, if still engaged you can start another brawl with the same enemy.
Armsman (Remi)
Brawl 2d6
Shoot 2d6
Dodge 1d6
Might 1d6
Finesse 1d6
Cunning 1d6
Armored Roll +1 health check die, can only rush more than 6”
Archeovist Brighid MakGuffin
Brawl 1d6
Shoot 2d6
Dodge 2d6
Might 1d6
Finesse 1d6
Cunning 3d6
Unlucky
Clever
Agile
09 July 2010, 11:45:57 PM
