I did this story for one of my gamer friends whose name is Ray. We trade friendly insults back and forth, so this is a humorous swipe at him. He did enjoy it.
BABY RAYS WETNUSRSE
"Took right to the nipple, he did" said Lord Rousell with pride as he watched his son feed. "He's a lusty one." Patting the back of Baby Ray's head, the Lady Rousell replied, "Just like his father he is, always on the tit. The boy's draining me dry!" she cried. "Get me a Wetnurse" she shrieked.
Many women were eager to take the job of suckling the Lord Rousell's son, but Baby Ray adamantly refused to feed from any of them. Until one day, Anna Bogna Pavlova arrived at the house.
Baby Ray squealed with delight when Anna took him into her arms and he began eagerly rooting for the nipple. "Such a beautiful baby", Anna cooed. "You shall be like one of my own. No harm will ever come to you my little babba."
And so she guarded him day and night, warning all but his parents away. For Anna saw something no one else did.......
LORD RAY HIMSELF
Every inch the aristocrat, Lord Ray enjoyed nothing more than looking down his nose at the people around him.
"They all wish they were me" he thought to himself at least one hundred times a day.
The only other thought that could compete with that one was "Oh yeah baby, you know you want some of this" And then he'd sneer in a way he believed to be quite sexy.
Yes, it seemed as if Lord Ray was the master of his own tiny world.
LORD RAYS PRIVY
Lord Ray, was fastidious as a child. Proud of his fine clothes, he was always careful when he took a meal, tucking a bib into his shirt lest it should get a crumb of food on it. It was a terrible shame then when he was struck with the condition known as "Malicious Bowelitis". This condition plagued the Rousell men and didn't show itself until they came of age. Ray certainly hoped the gene would skip his generation-but it was not to be.
On the morning of his 13th birthday, a terrible scream could be heard coming from his bedroom. Within minutes all the upstairs help was running out the front door of the Manor with their hands covering their noses. A powerful stench so foul it caused some to vomit, followed in their wake.
The family had no choice but to build an outdoor privy deep in the woods for Ray, lest the odour of his morning "movements" render the entire household unconscious.
A local peasant who had lost the ability to smell was hired to guard the privy when Ray needed to use it.
He would remain in Lord Rays service for his entire life for as Ray grew, so did his odour.
That's all there is for now. One day I may get around to telling the rest of the story as it does involve dragons and knights and various other creatures.
Your respectful comments and constructive criticism are welcome.
April 15, 2008, 12:44:50 PM