An Inconvenient Battle. Sunday 2nd July, 1881.

[Thunderchicken]

The Prussian invasion of England continues.......

As Prussian forces continue their push towards London British defences begin to strengthen. To support the recently successful defence of Shere Bridge the British command had drawn on units defending the Woking area. This strategy was not missed by the dastardly Prussian commander Herr Dreyer who immediately dispatched a force to exploit this weakness. Not realising the danger heading towards them the brave defenders of Shere Bridge bimbled back to their positions in and around Woking.

Just to the south of Woking on Horsell Common sits the rather quaint Maybury Inn. As part of the Woking defences it had been fortified by the Surrey Regiment who had immediately adopted this fine inn as their regimental mascot. The landlord of the Maybury Inn was the slightly unhinged Colour Sergeant (retired)  Obadiah Heap; a grizzled Crimean War veteran who has passed through the rapids of sanity and was now gently sculling in the serene pool of mild insanity. Obadiah had his eccentricities but by thunder he was still a good shot! He ran the inn with his devoted wife Eliza whos party piece, involving a yard of ale and  a brace of well worn golf balls, had secured her a legendary reputation throughout the environs of Woking.

Among the customers of the Maybury Inn this fine summers day is Major Farquar Farquarson who is enjoying a hearty repast of roast beef with all the ubiquitous trimmings. In the function room sits the annual general meeting of the Woking Sabbath Tiddlywinkers. A heated debate has errupted over the use of imported lightweight tiddlywinks which not only improved range but heralded unwelcome change to the more established winkers. Tempers are frayed.

Revelling in his tactical genius at Shere Bridge Farquarson devours his meal with all the grace of a demented octopus. As he listens to the constant thud of distant guns on the front lines a new closer sound arrests his attention. It was a sound he now knew well; the rumble, nay clank, of unreliable Prussian armour. Farquarson leaps to his feet and scans the horizon with the aid of his ageing eyepiece. The Prussians are approaching from the west!! Farquarson filled with rage. What made his bile boil; his grand collection of stomach ulcers bleed burning acid and his gravy stained tash twitch for all it was worth was not the admirable outflanking manouvre but the audacity and inconvenience of a Prussian attack on a SUNDAY!

Knowing his forces are nearby Farquarson mounts his trusty and rather geriactic steed Dougal. Leaving orders for Obadiah, Eliza and the Woking Sabbath Tiddlywinkers to defend the Maybury Inn (and the remainder of his roast dinner) with their lives he sets off to lead his men into battle.

Our intrepid reporter, Mr H G Wells of nearby Maybury Hill will document this battle on behalf of the Illustrated London News. I'm sure we will await his report with anticipation and polite levels of salivation.........     

[fritzy]

Hooorrraaaaagggghhhh, Give Ole Major Farquarson the thrashing he deserves Tally ho the Prussians (don't know any prussian phrases to put in there ). Reserve flight  of Fritzy Von Bakerheims' Jäger mit Whirlenkriegenfleigens are preparing themselves by terrorising the Naval Dockyard at Plymouth.

Can't wait to see the report where the British get Trounced and run off with there tails between there legs dragging thetea urns behind them.

Cheers

Fritzy

[Malamute]

Steady on Fritzy old boy, or you'll choke on your Knockwurst sausage

We will give those Prussians a damn fine thrashing, What ho?!

Forward the Colours....

[DFlynSqrl]

Fantastic!  I look forward to the next report.   

I just hope the Major can resolve this quickly, I'd sure hate for his dinner to get cold.

[commissarmoody]

Not only are they attacking on a sunday but dearing dinner time! Kick em were it hurts!

[Malamute]

Not only are they attacking on a sunday but dearing dinner time! Kick em were it hurts!

Just as we were settling down to roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, parsnips, greens, and carrots with lashings of rich port enhanced gravy all washed down with a nice bottle of claret.
Damned indecent of them to interrupt luncheon especially when Spotted Dick was on the menu for dessert.

[Ricco]

Right Then,

When is Good Queen Vic (Gawd Bless Her!!)  going to call for some fine Canadian Lads from the Out Posts of the Empire to go and defend her Green and Pleasant Land???

Some "Bright Colonial Boy"s should drive out those Sausage Eaters.

Thunderchicken has already commenced making some contingency plans to evacuate to the colonies for safe keeping.

[Skrapwelder]

He ran the inn with his devoted wife Eliza whos party piece, involving a yard of ale and  a brace of well worn golf balls, had secured her a legendary reputation throughout the environs of Woking.

Sounds like there's a chance Mrs. Heap may aid the defense by "doing the office of a Two pounder." to steal a bit from Falstaff.

[Gluteus Maximus]

Just as we were settling down to roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, parsnips, greens, and carrots with lashings of rich port enhanced gravy all washed down with a nice bottle of claret.
Damned indecent of them to interrupt luncheon especially when Spotted Dick was on the menu for dessert.

Good heavens! Interrupting the consumption of spotted dick 

Is there no end to those fiendish devils' jiggery-pokery?

They deserve a damn good thrashing for that. Six of the best from Her Majesty's [Gawd Bless 'Er!] finest will do the trick.

[Sterling Moose]

Damn, nearly coughed up a Brussel Sprout!  How dare they attack on a Sunday, damned Hun, have they no respect.

[twrchtrwyth]

I dread to think what you chaps will do when you see the state of the cricket pitch after they drove their tank over it!

[fritzy]

                 

           Good heavens! Interrupting the consumption of spotted dick 


         Good Grief am I at the right forum

       For comments like that we have to invade. Could we have a little more prussian support as I'm feeling a little out of place. Like finding myself in the middle of Manchester United fans wearing a Chelsea outfit

      Now to over-run the pub and introduce a continental menu and proper beer, with wearing lederhosen compulsory

   Cheers

   Fritzy


                 

[Thunderchicken]

Right Then,

When is Good Queen Vic (Gawd Bless Her!!)  going to call for some fine Canadian Lads from the Out Posts of the Empire to go and defend her Green and Pleasant Land???

Some "Bright Colonial Boy"s should drive out those Sausage Eaters.

Thunderchicken has already commenced making some contingency plans to evacuate to the colonies for safe keeping.

Good idea that man! I might just take you up on that idea. What colour would you suggest for the uniform? Methinks something to make them stand out from the Brit lads (and within reason!).

[commissarmoody]

I know ospray publisthing made a book about forces and smale wars fought in the North amrican content. I know around the time frame you looking at that they fought aginst a few native tribes. Sorry I dont know there name but I will look them up.
Also of interst is that after the civil war the old Irish Bergade tryed to invade and got mud stomped. I think there Idea was to crate a new Irish home land or to try and hold the contry hostage in exchage for Irland.

Also I think the fist time Canadian lads served over sea's in there won units was the 2nd anglo Boar war. I will looking it up and let you know what I find.  Also on a kind of unrelated link on another almost war between the US and old england check out the pig war in set around the puget sound, near the Washigton, and BC border.

[Gluteus Maximus]

Right Then,

When is Good Queen Vic (Gawd Bless Her!!)  going to call for some fine Canadian Lads from the Out Posts of the Empire to go and defend her Green and Pleasant Land???

Some "Bright Colonial Boy"s should drive out those Sausage Eaters.

Thunderchicken has already commenced making some contingency plans to evacuate to the colonies for safe keeping.

Good idea that man! I might just take you up on that idea. What colour would you suggest for the uniform? Methinks something to make them stand out from the Brit lads (and within reason!).

In the real world they appear to have worn uniforms very similar to the British prototype, but of course in the wonderful world of VSF, anything's possible.
RAFM have some Canadian figures in their 1885 "Riel Rebellion" range here:

http://www.rafm.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=RAF&Category_Code=RR

but sadly none in those splendid RCMP style hats  The infantry in sidecaps are very attractive, though.