The Adventures of Kevnak the Goblin (Warhammer Musings)

[Dr. Kevin Moon III esq.]

Since moving to the other end of the country I've found my new regular opponent to be a big Warhammer fan. This has given me a chance to dust of my box of unpainted orcs and goblins and add to my collection as well as play Warhammer regularly (a game I've only dipped in and out of over the years).

Here's what my current goblin collection looks like:



So Kevnak's nasty gits (all winning fantasy armies need to have names, as everyone knows) have had three games so far. All 1500points.

Game 1. vs Wood Elves



For this I mostly just picked what had relatively simple rules (for goblins), having not played Warhammer for the best part of 2 years (and not even much before that!). Goblin Warlord in a unit of goblins, a battle standard, shaman, some night goblins, some trolls, some chariots, some squigs and Gary the giant. No fanatics, artillery or giant spiders

 I largely got smashed to bits by arrows flying from all corners of the table (including a special character on an eagle, you might have confused for a chaos hero on a steed in the picture), my little goblin chariot did manage a long range(ish) charge on some wild riders (nasty stag riding cavalry you may have confused with chaos warhounds in the picture). It was a good learning experience though and nice to get the hang of the rules again.

[Dr. Kevin Moon III esq.]

Game 2 vs Chaos



This time I took a rock lobber and a hero on a wolf (with the terrifying mask of Eeee!), but mostly the same sort of stuff.

The game started badly when my general, BSB and goblin unit all paniced off the table after being hit by a hellcannon, then  I mostly got shredded to bits by an ugly demon prince and a cockatrice. I did manage to scare off some warhounds (actually warhounds) with my wolf rider hero and Gary the giant headbutted a spawn and the cockatrice to death in the end which was nice.

This game wasn't as much fun, I felt the poor old goblins didn't have much to deal with the nasty chaos monsters. This is probably a problem of my own making by picking units of goblins and having your general and battle standard run away before you've moved them will ruin anyones day. Still, my opponent is a good sport and things like this happen when you're a Goblin general!


nice one Gary

[Dr. Kevin Moon III esq.]

Game 3 vs Lizardmen

I'll be honest, I was dreading my opponent rocking up with another horrible army to tear me apart and I was pleasantly surprised to see a not so scary looking army! We decided to play the River of Death scenario from the back of the book for two reasons 1) I'd not used my river in ages and 2) neither of us had played it before.



I'd also painted up some fungus forests and dug out my old Orc village so we'd have some snazzy goblin terrain to play on

This game I went for some new stuff like the Doom Diver and a few more fanatics, sadly at the expense of poor old Gary the giant, hero of the last outing.

I think my opponent got a bit carried away with ideas of smashing me to bits and forgot to control the crossings (the objective of the game). I really felt I was getting the hang of some of the subtler rules now though - I had a nice chance to pin his skinks into place for a chariot charge which sadly got blown apart thanks to panic from a stand and shoot and some measly charge rolls! In the end I managed to steal a win thanks to some plucky rolling and the newly fielded doom diver blowing huge holes in the Saurus cavalry.

[Dr. Kevin Moon III esq.]

Thoughts on Warhammer... so far

I have to say, despite getting smashed in two games, I've really enjoyed playing Warhammer. It helps I get on really well with my opponent, obviously, but the games themselves have been good - even while getting blown to bits.

Anyway, here are some of my thoughts I felt the need to share (please feel free to give your opinion or ignore them!)

• The 8th edition is by far and away the most enjoyable one I've played. I'm a huge fan of random charges, premeasuring and always being able to attack in combats. When I think back to 6th edition games where armies would lurk 7" away from my dwarves with impunity and then charge in and kill of the front rank denying me a chance to hit back I shudder! It certainly feels a lot more involving all the time for both players.
   
• I love the terrain rules especially, they are something a lot of wargames could learn from. Game 3 is a perfect example, the river turned out to be a boiling torrent (or something like that) so while you could walk through it - if you got stuck there you'd take a right thumping (as 5 of my night goblin archers found out!) so while it had an impact on how the game was played, it didn't dominate it. Top marks!
   
• I'm not a big fan of unpainted or proxy models. This is nothing new, I spend a lot of time on my models and how a game looks is a big part of my hobby (hence the new fantasy terrain being rolled out). It makes me a little sad to be losing to a nasty special character, but it really gets my goat when its an unpainted model proxy-ing as said character. I think this mostly comes down to being spoiled at my last gaming club where I don't think I saw an unpainted model on the table in 5 years. From listening to podcasts and reading forums, this seems to be a bit of a standard in Warhammer sadly
   
• Despite picking what the internet seems to think of as a load of old rubbish, my goblins have stood up fairly well - combination charges, flank charges and the like still hold up (except to nasty Demon princes...), big blocks of infantry tend to stay around so long as they have some ranks and even giants have their uses (headbutting other monsters).
   
• There are a lot of fun units to be used in game of Warhammer. Nasty skulkers, Giants, Trolls, Bastilliodons, Pump wagons and even Festus the Leechlord have all had their memorable moments - which is always a sign of a good game. I just don't seem to read that much on the internet of it! Are my games just an exception to the rule because I've picked those sorts of units?
  
   

I'd be keen to hear what other people on the forum think of these little games of Warhammer, is this typical of a "garage game" - I'm super keen to play some more games regardless.


Kevnak the Goblin, who has survived every game - even if that did mean fleeing off the table!

[warburton]

Looks good. I've not played Warhammer since 4th edition myself (though I still like 40K (2nd edition of course)) but that may change as I have a lot of old skaven metals and people say the game is quite good now.

[Red Orc]

Warhammer (2nd Ed) was the first tabletop game I played* so I'll always have a spot spot for it. And, you know, I'm not called 'Red Orc' for nothing so kudos there. I really like the look of the river scenario you played - in its various manifestations it is my favourite scenario for a battle, and yours looks like a great game (especially your side of the table  )

Goblins are rubbish. I find it very frustrating as an Orc/Goblin general. I wish 'Common' Goblins had a purpose in WH but they don't. Night Goblins yes, but unless they've changed something radical recently probably only as Fanatic-delivery units. But Goblins should be a big part of Warhammer. It's just a pity they're awful.

On unpainted units and proxying... these do come up now and again. OK, I think it's great to try out new units and combos and figures and sometimes that means that some unit will proxy for another. You could ask your oppo if you can play a Lizard Army list but using proxies - Goblins = Skinks, Orcs as Kroxigors etc. It might be fun to try a new list!

But unpainted units... well, the first thing I guess is to offer to help your oppo with some of his/her painting. Then maybe you can spend an enjoyable afternoon shooting the breeze while you help them get their army ready for the table. But if they still insist on bringing along unpainted units to the table, you could suggest that you introduce a rule that I've heard of some FLGS and clubs using - if a unit is unpainted it has a penalty to morale because it is (quite literaly!) unprepared for battle. In WH terms this could mean a Leadership test every turn/every time it moves or fires/receives fire or a charge, etc. Failure means these unprepared soldiers (new recruits?) just run away. Or a -2 Leadership penalty throughout the game perhaps. You might find some such rule would concentrate your oppo's mind wonderfully on the task of painting and basing the models.



*except for the one me and my mate Simon wrote some rules for when we were about 12 and couldn't afford Warhammer (it was £5 I think, but lead - yes, lead - minis were about 30p back then)

[grant]

Nothing finer than goblins.

[Dr. Kevin Moon III esq.]

Goblins are rubbish. I find it very frustrating as an Orc/Goblin general. I wish 'Common' Goblins had a purpose in WH but they don't. Night Goblins yes, but unless they've changed something radical recently probably only as Fanatic-delivery units. But Goblins should be a big part of Warhammer. It's just a pity they're awful.

I've been running a unit of 30 with spears, shields and three nasty skulkers. Combined with a Goblin Warlord with the ASF sword and the potion of strength (pinched the idea from a guy on the Warhammer Forum), they are a nasty surprise one turn - then they tend to expire in droves. If they hang on for that turn though I can usually ram a chariot or trolls into a flank - which is the real point of them.

I think they'd be much better with hand weapons instead of spears but thats what mine are armed with so its hard luck! I'm eying up a big unit of goblins with bows and the poison banner BSB - that might be another use for them?